SECRET OF THE MAGIC CRYSTALS - BEST GAME EVER! €1.49 - BUY NOW!

DUDES!
I'm disappointed by the lack of SOTMC giveaways this year!

THIS GAME IS SO AWESOME YOU WILL KILL YOURSELF TO START A NEW LIFE WHERE YOU CAN HAVE SOTMC FROM THE MOMENT YOU ARE BORN!

Only €1.49 on steam now! Get it now before you miss this chance!
That's like infinite life changing fun for the price of half a sandwich!
Look on that store page! Do you see a line that reads "ponies not included"?
NO!
THEY ARE INCLUDED!
PONIES ALL YOU WANT!

To seek the favor of the Gods I will now share among you these godly creations!

Cthulhu Saves the World - Cthulhu is obviously a horse!
Thomas Was Alone - Thomas doesn't know the company of a quadruped
Lone Survivor: The Director's Cut - Equines survive

May this summon forth more Secrets Of The Magic Crystals!

Enjoy your days of ritual!