That's what I always used to hear from this woman I used to work with.
She'd complain about the world going down the toilet, and I'd say things are overall getting better, and they have been for a long time. She'd say "look around!"
I'd tell her that violent crime rates are going down, literacy is going up. The Human Development Index is trending upward. She'd say, "but it's common sense! Someone down the street got stabbed last week!"
You can trust your own intuition (even though it's a proven fact that our brains deceive us constantly in a variety of ways) or you can trust the statistics. "Look around" is not a viable surveying tool. The news networks need to stay on 24 hours, need to keep people engaged, and constant drama and tragedy is what keeps their ratings up. And it's not just that viewers are more likely to watch news coverage of something awful happening - it's also the case that people remember awful things happening a lot more than they remember good things happening (that is, until later on in life, when they will look back upon earlier times fondly.
Our brains can't be trusted to make these kinds of long-term judgements with nothing but limited, anecdotal, sensory information.
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In many ways, society is falling apart.
At the same time, however, many people are falling together in response.
It's up to each individual whom they choose to be and which path they choose to walk. Do you accept the chaos and grab what you can? Or do you band together with others who also believe in the nobility of mankind and the fight against the darkness?
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clap.....clap.....clap.....clap..... and so many people in the world today say "I'm just one person, I can't do anything to change that!" If they only woke up and saw the hundreds, thousands, millions that say the same thing. So group up and make a change together. Society will be afraid of the mass. Ex: When Netflix said they were going to raise the amount each month (and not say why?) up to a dollar or two. Some said ahhh a dollar, but most said "Why? Because of greed?" So people started quitting Netflix and the Stock dropped ALOT! The Ceo came out and said he was sorry for that. http://edition.cnn.com/2011/BUSINESS/09/19/netflix.ceo.apology/index.html
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Khalaq, I have a question for you about this comment: "Or do you band together with others who also believe in the nobility of mankind and the fight against the darkness?"
Isn't the great need of belonging to the tribe one of the main problems of teens nowadays? Don't get me wrong, I understood what you meant, but what you say is that whatever is our fight we should band. Maybe that's the problem, kid's should think (sometimes) by themselves as an individual.
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All human beings have a need to belong. Some embrace it, others reject it, but it is part of who we are. It pulls at us, and every day, we are faced with the question of "How far am I willing to go in order to belong?" (Sometimes, multiple times in one day.) It is not uncommon for someone to feel isolated or alone, but the truth is that there are always other people "out there, somewhere" who share your beliefs, values, and customs. We can change our values to fit the group, or change our group to fit our values. The choice is ours.
The difficulty with being young is that your perspective is not as broad or far-reaching as someone who is older. You do not see all of the possibilities available to you, nor understand how to get past seemingly insurmountable obstacles. That is where the value of our elders truly shines. The elderly are often able to help us see alternate paths we might take to reach our goals, or how to turn "negative" events into "positive" ones.
Or, at least, they can if we decide not to ship them off to designated housing because they're "in our way"....
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TBH I don't know what could I add to your reply, I think that I'll go with the classical: Clap, Clap
Chapeau!
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People have been thinking that for centuries.
Too bad it's not supported by the evidence.
The world sure could be a better place, but sometimes it's easy to watch too much news and forget that literacy rates are going up, infant mortality rates are going down, violent crime is going down, etc.
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I am reminded of a quotation of Mark Twain's....
"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." (attributed to Benjamin Disraeli)
While the news media of today is notorious for inaccuracy and distortion, there are a sufficient number of distinct sources of information to determine two things.
1) Things aren't as bad as we are being led to believe.
2) Things are not as good as they used to be.
The only issue that is truly relevant, however, is "how you choose to play the cards you're dealt."
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Here's the thing. You say that things aren't as good as we're being led to believe, and also that things aren't as good as they used to be. What if things in the past also weren't as good as we were then being led to believe?
Slavery, filth in the streets, plague, bloodshed far more common than it is now... rule by divine right rather than election, the threat of imminent nuclear apocalypse... significantly shorter lifespans, harder labor unaided by sophisticated machine, death in childbirth...
Name three ways in which the world is provably worse than it used to be. Because overall things are getting better. Things may be a lot worse now in Syria than they were fifty years ago, for example. But on the whole, I submit to you that things are getting better by just about every reasonable metric.
(With all due respect, I should add that--if I recall correctly--I've seen you mention your faith on these boards before, and I should mention that I do not consider any religious metrics to be inherently useful methods for determining the overall well-being of a society. So on the matter of society's well-being, failing to measure up to the standards of any given religion's tenets is a point of possible contention for this discussion.)
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You misread what I wrote. I wrote that "things are not as bad as we are led to believe." The media does not focus on "what is going right with the world."
Just to answer your question, however, I will list three ways in which the world is demonstrably worse than it used to be. Keep in mind that the things you mention as being "from the past" are still with us, today.
1) Murdering a person used to be an uncommon thing. Even battles were generally fought away from the civilian population. When you killed someone, it was most often up close and personal. Nowadays, murder happens frequently. Battles have no boundaries, and entire cities are targeted. Killing has been reduced to pressing a button or pulling a trigger, often at a distance. In fact, it is not uncommon for the killer to not know the reason he killed and the one killed to not know the reason he was killed. This has gotten worse over time.
2) Government interference and control is greater now than it ever has been. Beyond the fact that they track everything you do, they also tell you how to live your life. Not only do they regulate what you can eat, drink, and wear, they also tell you how to raise your kids. And if the government doesn't like the way you're doing it, they take your kids away and raise them for you. This is worse than in the past.
3) All of the civilizations that have been lost over time have taken much of their knowledge with them. Our medicine is still behind what the ancient Egyptians had in Africa, our conservation way behind that of the Native Americans, and our standard of living behind the Moors in Spain. (Actually, our standard of living lags behind many ancient civilizations.) There are many more examples of what humanity has achieved and lost (often multiple times), but the most tragic of these is the sacking and burning of libraries, universities, and museums. Imagine the knowledge that would be lost if The Smithsonian and the Library of Congress were to be put to the torch. A similar thing has happened countless times throughout human history. And while the practice is no longer common, there is no way to replace what those long-gone civilizations knew. That is demonstrably worse than it was in the past.
These are only three ways that things have deteriorated over time. but I think a discussion about them is missing the point. I once used to keep a world map where I would track the bloodshed, revolution, and general misery of the world's countries, but I eventually realized there was no benefit in it. If we want a better world, we need to strive for it, each one of us.
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... Crap. Do me a favor and just ignore my first paragraph up there :)
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"Dear Batman,
I came in your mask.
Robin"
Yes, as a matter of fact, I was too lazy to link the image.
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I saw a Atlanta Falcons fan! Woot! Go Falcons! :D
Edit: On a serious note though: That is a great video. I can relate, being kicked out of 3 schools myself for fighting and hitting teachers. The one man that finally got through to me was the principal of a alternative school, who after I had just gotten into a fight with another student, just hugged me and told me whatever I was going through it was going to be ok. I just broke down. I tell everyone now that I love them. You have to go through life loving those around you. Being able to love is being able to be a man.
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Thanks for the link. It reminds me of the importance of having a true masculine role-model, not the twisted one modern society offers us.
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Feels.... can I not get off tumblr for five minutes without feels hitting me? Also thanks, that was amazing to watch.
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I hate these kind of videos. They never properly address the issue, they just make the audience feel sad and get money for it. Therapy is nice, but the problem isn't insecurity. Insecurity is simply a consequence of the problem, lack of proper social choices. You have these kids that want friends so badly and will accept whatever is given to them. These kids feel like they have no choice in who their friends are and will do whatever it takes to please the ones they have. Some are not even lucky enough to get that. A good solution is giving these kids things to do in different activities that appeals to them so they meet like minded individuals where they are comfortable in being themselves. At least, it worked for me...
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But i just want my quick fix of usual #tumblr philosophy, mister. Your logical examinations are highly unwanted here!
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One of the most common tactics of victim blaming and close-mindedness is taking the posture of "well if you don't have a solution, then you shouldn't be whining about the problem."
This line of thinking is absolute base, it's time to level up.
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If you comprehended my post as "stop complaining about the problem" and have the audacity to say I'm the closed minded one, we have a whole different topic to discuss here. I said it how it is, coming from and being in similar situations as these kids. These kids can be given "treatment" by people that care all they want, but the problem will still exist. Caring is not enough, caring doesn't help anyone. Caring ALONE will not create programs kids need. I'm sorry, but if I am magically closed minded for understanding the situation and giving a solution to the problem instead of just wanting to talk about it because it is the easy way to make money, then call me the most closed minded person on Earth. OTHERWISE, I am afraid it is you that is closed minded to quickly dismiss my post because it isn't what you want to hear. Let me guess, you want there to be a happy ending for all these kids that want to commit suicide because they feel they have no belonging or purpose in life? Guess what, turns out talking about it doesn't always work and a good number of these kids grow up to be depressed adults the moment they are no longer in a school supplying these shitty programs because they never really learned how to deal with the issue. They are suppose to feel better about themselves, not be ashamed of themselves, to know there is nothing wrong with them. The reason it appears these programs are working is because they are surrounded by other people in the same boat! Take this program away from them and see where they all are in the future, some of them will be back to square one all over again.
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What you describe sounds like loneliness and that's not what the video is adressing. To me it sounds like the video is adressing the lack of emotional stimulation/development with young males and all the consequences it can bring, such as loneliness.
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The video is discussing many things- things of which is caused by loneliness. Do you think these kids would want to commit suicide if they all had friends and a purpose in life? These kids are struggling, as the video mentioned, because they are insecure with themselves based on what our culture teaches them is necessary to be a man. The only reason kids ever give a fuck what others think is because they do not have good moral support and role models, something of which a good club or organization, after school activity or scouting can provide. Majority of these kid's problems involve not fitting in because they simply are not compatible to society, so they think.
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...which is what the film is about. I'm having trouble understanding your beef. You seem to think they are promoting "caring" without any productive action based solely on your viewing of a trailer.
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What is your beef with me? You plan to reply to every comment I post? Read my previous post why this wont work. all they do is talk about their problems, not provide a foundation needed later in life. Once these kids are out of highschool, they will be forgotten and come across the same problems. I'm honestly surprised some cares enough to pay for their little group therapy, but this documentary is probably a way to pay for it.
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Once again, I don't think you actually watched the video. This isn't promotion for a "school program" or "therapy camp," I honestly don't understand how that's what you are taking away from it. You are acting as though you have seen the film and what it purports, when it hasn't even been released yet.
My beef is with your seemingly explicit desire to remain uninformed.
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Let me ask you a question, what is a purpose of a trailer? To advertise what it is going to be! Tada! I guarantee you, this aint no Star Wars sequel! If you really are going to be "closed minded" to believe that I am trying to remain uninformed, why do you bother replying to all my comments? Do you often try to argue with people with no real purpose? If I was trying to remain uninformed, I promise you that your attempts in informing me will get you no where. Stop wasting your time.
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Sure there's kids who want to commit suicide despite having friends & purpose, you forget parenting out of this picture. One of the things that makes it hard for me to cope with life in general is that my parents refuse to accept who I am. It's pretty much deeply rooted and has a lot to do with what is being mentioned here.
I can tell you that no friend or activity changes this, it merely distracts. It's up to my parents do develop a decent set of values. And break from their traditionalism and cynism. Providing activities and other distractions are nothing but an insult, these kids should be listened at and taken seriously.
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I never said they shouldn't be listened, simply said talking alone will not fix anything. Your problem with your parents wont magically go away just by talking about it in therapy, any consequences it may have caused will always be there and you need to learn how to pretty much live with it. You make it sound like we need to make the problems go away, all the pain go away, but they simply never will in cases like yours. Talking about it wont fix too much, you simply will have to learn how to live life with it. I'm sorry what you been through, but no matter what you believe, you need to learn how to live with it until it starts to feel like such a small significant part of your life for when it hurts less or not at all. These kids simply talk about it, rant even, but they do not learn social skills needed in a future life. More importantly, these documentaries I am talking about, specifically this one, really emphasizes that the problem these kids have have to do with our culture in what causes them to feel insecure. I hate to tell you this, but their problem absolutely has to do with their social lives. Do you really think people that have a good social life cares what others think or do they care only those who matter to them thinks about them? That is where the problem for a lot of these kids are, they do not learn how to be independent in a way that helps them in the future. This video advertises what the documentary will be, about kids trying to fit in and being put through group therapy in hope they will magically be better when in reality they wont be the moment they stop getting it.
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No, that isn't what the documentary is about or advertising at all.
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"At a young age, boys learn that to express compassion or empathy is to show weakness. They hear confusing messages that force them to repress their emotions, establish hierarchies, and constantly prove their masculinity. They often feel compelled to abide by a rigid code of conduct that affects their relationships, narrows their definition of success and, in some cases, leads to acts of violence resulting in what many researchers call a “boy crisis.” Our society’s failure to recognize and care for the social and emotional well-being of our boys contributes to a nation of young men who navigate adversity and conflict with an incomplete emotional skill set. Whether boys and later men have chosen to resist or conform to this masculine norm, there is loneliness, anxiety, and pain.
The Mask You Live In documentary will examine how gender stereotypes are interconnected with race, class, and circumstance, and how kids are further influenced by the education system, sports culture, and mass media- video games and pornography in particular. The film also highlights the importance of placing emphasis on the social and emotional needs of boys through healthy family communication, alternative teaching strategies, conscious media consumption, positive role modeling and innovative mentorship programs.
The 75 minute film will feature powerful interviews with popular thought leaders and celebrities as well as academics and experts in neuroscience, biology, psychology, anthropology, sociology, ethics, education, sports, media, and history. Shot in a style consistent with Miss Representation, these white backdrop interviews will anchor the film’s messaging while emotional vignettes showcase a wide range of life experiences and perspectives from boys and men who are struggling with different issues related to masculinity.
I’m extremely passionate about this topic and have been researching it with my team for quite some time, but we’ve also enlisted an amazing group of expert film content advisors to help guide our thinking:
• Byron Hurt, Co-Founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention, Director of Beyond Beats and Rhymes
• Michael Kimmel, PhD. Author of Guyland
• Jackson Katz, Co-Founder of Mentors in Violence Prevention, Director of Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity
• William Pollack, Author of Real Boys and Real Boys’ Voices
• Esta Soler, Founder of Futures Without Violence
• Niobe Way, Ed.D. Author of Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection"
Took me longer to post than it did to google/read, but I'm sure you were too busy being informed to do that.
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How cute, you edit your post to have instead of just a gif a clever little statement that took you 20 mins to come up with. Here, I will edit this post too just for you. We been discussing this problem for a long time, any idiot can acknowledge there being a problem. There, I said it. Now we must ask what this video is for if we already knew of the problem if it doesn't supply a real solution.
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"... when things get a little bit worse, you're on your own." Yep, that's motherfucking true. I totally get the suicide thing though. I could've been part of it... could still be part of it. :D
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Bros come before hoes.
I don't really take this as an absolute rule, but for the most part, one should labor to hold their platonic friends in a higher esteem than their romantic or potentially-romantic friends. Romantic relationships fall apart, and you'll need your friends there if it happens.
Like I said, though, this isn't 100% of the time. Sometimes you've got to put the "hoes" first.
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Maybe, when you reason like this then it's easier for romantic relationships to fall apart, since you have backup anyways why should you bother to make it work? And the other way around as well. I'm not a fan of thinking in this is right and this is wrong, life is too complex for that, it's an act of balance and we're all walking the tightrope.
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That's what friends are for. Backup. To be there when the chips are down and someone else has let you down. Expecting things to be easy or expecting things to fall apart are not helpful attitudes in a relationship for many reasons, not least of which is because expecting anything in particular is usually a dangerous game. But that's what preparation is for. Hopefully you never need it, but if you're wise you'll do it.
Anyone who doesn't know that romantic relationships are hard work is in for an eye-opening experience, and I wouldn't disagree with you on that. Maybe you're reading too much into my post.
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We all need friends, life is boring without them and they deliver a great deal of necessairy support, especially when life smacks ya in the face. Sure I agree with you, just not when it comes to saying bro's before hoes. It's just not a good conclusion and bound to be misinterpreted.
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Your earlier comments were encouraging people to be less results-oriented, but then you contradict yourself by stating this anecdotal opinion as fact. Adding the qualifier weakens your argument in your attempt to deflect objections.
Is this more of a "do as I say, not as I do" lecture? Or does your evangelism place yourself higher than those you are attempting to counsel?
We should always be talking about these things, constantly re-evaluating. It is our continued disregard for communal success and glorification of individual achievement that has allowed such a disconnect-- an aspect of which the above documentary is attempting to explore and explain.
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I like you and all, but just what in the sam hell are you talking about? I said it wasn't a hard-and-fast rule, because eventually you'll meet someone you want to put on the same level as your very good friends because that person will also be a very good friend.
Adding the qualifier weakens my argument? So my line of thinking is wrong, but by qualifying it to not always apply, it's more wrong? At this point you just sound like a nutter.
Is this more of a "do as I say, not as I do" lecture?
Where in my post did I ever say what I did?
Or does your evangelism place yourself higher than those you are attempting to counsel?
What in the actual fuck? I don't even know what part of my claim you disagree with.
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Not at all my intent to put you off. I was referring to your comments here in regard to your sentiment against results-oriented thinking, which I completely agree with.
I was just asking you to clarify the seeming contradiction with your assessment above, which appears to me as a reflection of your anecdotal experience, because you add the qualifier at the end. Only meant to encourage you to solidify your opinions, whether I (or anyone) agree with you or not. The questions were just rhetorical, sincere apologies if I came off as snide.
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Bros should always come before hoes, but may I suggest not involving romance with hoes? I personally do not plan to have any kind of relationship with anyone girl less of a woman, hoes are only good for a one night stand... if that. Anyone that thinks this "bros before hoes" line applies to all women, not just sluts that are a part of your life for 15 mins, are likely single and will be for a long time. Your woman, regardless of the odds she will be the girl you marry, should always get first priority. The girl will at the least be good practice for commitment for when the real deal comes by. If the girl is worth a damn, she will make time for you to be with your friends for she will have some of her own anyways. That is what I think anyways :p
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Holy shit, that is some whacked-out objectifying you're pulling.
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Stop crying.
Stop with the tears.
Don’t cry.
Pick yourself up.
Stop with the emotions.
Don’t be a pussy.
Don’t let anyone disrespect you.
Be cool and be kind of a dick.
Always keep your mouth shut.
Nobody likes a tattletale.
Bros come before hoes.
Don’t let your woman run your life.
You bitch.
What a fag.
Get laid, do something.
Be a man.
Be a MAN.
Grow some balls.
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