He descended from Valhalla on a chariot made of gold and stuff and the entire sky erupted with glorious light as he made he way down to live amongst the mere mortals. As his first act of being a viking with a beard, he created video games and allowed Blizzard to create a viking game suitable for his tastes. He was pleased with the result and allowed Blizzard to reign supreme and unchallenged for decades. This was the first act of GLaPOS.

Second, GLaPOS designed the concept of 3D by showing people a box, then rotating it and then said "Make this." And made it they did. A Japanese company, having previous success in small moving pictures on larger moving pictures, converted their franchise to this new idea of 3D and made "Super Mario 3D," which GLaPOS enjoyed. However, he grew curious as to why Mario did not have a beard but GLaPOS let Nintendo prosper because GLaPOS harbors no hatred towards fellow gamers. This was the second act of GLaPOS.

Finally, GLaPOS decided that he wanted a place to store all his games and told a man named Gabe, GLaPOS referred to him as Gaben since GLaPOS likes the letter n (although he doesn't like M since it's dumb) and everyone has since follow suit, to make such a place for him. GLaPOS, feeling confident in Gaben, allowed him to make Steam unguided and, upon receiving the early product, decided to help and make it not green and blocky and gross. So, using his magic, he turned shovelware into a program required for every PC gamer, and was allowed access to the vast library available, as well as all future releases. It was here that GLaPOS, instead of abusing this privileged like a normal viking with a beard and magic powers, he decided to share his games with the world. Thus bringing us to where we are today.

At least I think.

13 years ago*

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He gives for a living.

13 years ago
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When he's homeless from his endless gifting sprees, he can sleep on my couch.

13 years ago
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I demand he sleeps on my couch! It has..., um, patterns. Also, there's a hideaway bed. I think.

13 years ago
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He can sleep on OUR couch, dear.

13 years ago
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Street walker.

13 years ago
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No truer words have ever been spoken.

13 years ago
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I do not wish to know what GLaPOS does... I like being able to sleep at night... not in horror...

13 years ago
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Easy, GLaPOS is actually Gabe Newell or his son.

13 years ago
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I believe in that :OOO

13 years ago
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dude! Don't blow his cover!

13 years ago
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Glapos is a mason.
Just google it.
Masons symbol is "G" what i mean

13 years ago
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Word.

13 years ago
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hahahh Maybe he sold his house for money on gifting ;D

13 years ago
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The power of Lucifer is indeed persuading his hands to give.

13 years ago
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Glappy is my sugar daddy. Well I guess technically he is OUR sugar- BACK OFF EVERYONE, HES MINE!

13 years ago
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Why so much attention around GLaPOS? I know he(she/it) is a good contributor, but the attention he (she/it) gets here is just a bit too annoying. 1/10 thread seem to be talking about glappy.

13 years ago
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INFIDEL!!!

13 years ago
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Glappy is kind of a celebrity around here. Its not only because he is a good contributor, but also because he is involved in the community and an all around nice person.

13 years ago
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iunno about you, but he is a jerk! takes all my sushi and my money for MORE GIFTS!~

13 years ago
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Wait... you had sushi? Why wasn't I notified?!

13 years ago
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You fool! You have angered the random number generator and you will be 10% less likely to win now! All glory to the Random generation god!

13 years ago
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Buttlickers detected...

13 years ago
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Some guy who can't take a joke detected :P

13 years ago
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If joke is repeated alot of times it sorta stops to be a joke thus gets annoying.

13 years ago
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I highly doubt you could say 'Why does the chicken cross the road?' is no longer a joke. It might not be a new joke, but it is still a joke.

13 years ago
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You have a point there, however, doesn't change the fact that all the GLaPOSpam is idiotic.

13 years ago
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Well you think it's idiotic, but why do you have to ruin it for all the other people having fun? It does not effect you much does it? Just saying let people do what they want to do even if you think it's a waste of time. People enjoy wastes of times (Why do you think so many people play games, eeh?)

13 years ago
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I am probably just jellous of all the attention GLaPOS gets, but still I find what you guys doing pretty annoying. :3 Hate how 1/10 are talking about GLaPOS.

13 years ago
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I can understand that certainly. Give it a few days and all the threads (should) die down. Unless just when they start dieing down GLaPOS rolls out the Giftapults again.

13 years ago
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13 years ago
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LATER

13 years ago
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In movie industry with Billy Herrington. What did i win?

13 years ago
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GLaPOS doesn't need a job. GLaPOS is just Cthulhu's steam account. After trying for centuries to drive man mad it has finally resorted to giving away madness. Reports are in that those who have won GLaPOS's giveaway have displayed a sudden desire for muffins and believe they are 'The Batman'. There is even one report of a gift receiver burning his house down in order to bake some muffins.

13 years ago
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GLaPOS tests.

13 years ago
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GLaPOS is a South-American dictator.

13 years ago
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In before "GLaPOS is the second coming of Santa Claus"

13 years ago
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Santa Claus is just a pale imitator of GLaPOS.

13 years ago
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GLaPOS is a Nigerian prince. It seems all those scam emails were for this.

13 years ago
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If GLaPOS gives me luck in winning Fallout 3 Then he is.....Well Just everything!

13 years ago
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My job to be poor. My task to stab cult in the face. Thanks for the great postings all! :D Good luck.

13 years ago
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Your job is to be poor? Interesting job.

13 years ago
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you stole my job? damn. I am going to be rich then!
:)

13 years ago
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GLaPOS is the president!

13 years ago
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Dat GlaPOS .

yea i have nothing else to say :/

13 years ago
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Batman. Obviously.

13 years ago
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He's a secret undercover agent for Valve gifting people as an experiment. On what may seem to look like an act of good will, is actually a conspiracy filled with twists and turns. First he observes the people's reaction from the gifts, then he discretely takes a DNA sample via the gifting system because when the user opens the gift, it also sends his fingerprints & sweat electronically from the mouse to the Steam client back to Valve. Within 6 months electronic old men will take over the world to implement Steam as the only monopoly center for games.

Coming Summer 2012

13 years ago
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Was wondering pretty much the same thing today, great job GLaPOS

13 years ago
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Random threads getting bumped after weeks of inactivity make the forum look desperate and bored.

13 years ago
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He is a gigolo

13 years ago
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Closed 13 years ago by Godbutt.