So I want comments on my poem!!! No thanks posts unless you win game.

Formaldehyde Dreams

Twenty-seven stitches cross your ashen lips,
As bloody pearls clot upon the slits.
Silver dollars placed upon tear laden eyes,
Your muffled scream, as I kiss you goodbye
Your ashen cheeks draped by disheveled hair,
I told you to never step into this malefic lair.
Warm flesh; dressed to impress,
I tie your hands across your breast.
As a forlorn tear seeps down your cheek
I place a crimson rose upon satin sleek.

Like a rose divested of its thorns,
My fear of you is now stillborn.
Your terror; your dread
Shall never atone for things said.
Furthermore, your muffled cries,
Will not bring tears to my eyes

I remove the lid from this pine box,
The cheapest one they had in stock
This nails lovingly inserted, one by one
Redeem you, from what has been done
The arrhythmic patter of your heart,
Will console me when we part.

Under the coffin; your eternal bed,
I slide the dolly beneath an edge.
Tilt back now, for the rocket-ship ride
This smirk, this smile I will not hide!
We bump down steps and across the lawn,
Hurry now!! For soon cracks the dawn…

Not two feet, nor six; but further you slide
I know I paid considerably for your ride.
The chest lurches ‘cross the clay and loam.
I hope you enjoy your new home.
As you gasp for a breath to scream,
The dirt tumbles into your eternal dreams.