❓
Two new ones:
[Bird of Light](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/E6UKy/bird-of-light) Lv1 | canis39 | July 2
[Freaky Awesome](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/2Nuxn/freaky-awesome) Lv1 | canis39 | July 2
Comment has been collapsed.
[Farming World](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/g6py4/farming-world Lv2 | Yindy | July 2
[Post Master](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/Zpwr4/post-master) Lv2 | Yindy | July 2
[Taxi](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/cyOWl/taxi Lv2 | Yindy | July 2
[Zoo Park](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/ocfDC/zoo-park) Lv2 | Yindy | July 2
[Empire of Angels IV](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/QVJTy/tian-shi-di-guo-si-empire-of-angels-iv) Lv2 | Yindy | July 2
[The gate of Firmament](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/llYe3/xuan-yuan-jian-wai-chuan-qiong-zhi-fei-the-gate-of-firmament) Lv2 | Yindy | July 2nd
Comment has been collapsed.
Ok, I've been meaning to write something in one of this threads probably since the first one popped up but I never ended up actually doing so, and if I did it has sliped my mind since. I avoided this for so long that I'm just gonna write whatever comes to mind as a lightly edited ramble/stream of thought and be done with it. That "are you happy?" thread kinda finally pushed me to do this and stop posponing it, I know this might not help at all but I might as well give a try cos I feel like I just waste my time meandering through life without a clear objective.
If I'm gonna start somewhere I should start with that damn lgbt month thing that's going on in the internet right now, I've had doubts about my sexuality for the last, 7 years I think, and while I pretty quickly figured out that I what I was feeling was an atraction for some people that happened to be male I didn't deal with it, instead I kicked it into the bottom of my priority list of things to deal with, cloistered myself from any possibility of anything related to relationships or romance or sex or related, and tried my damn hardest at the time to focus on having a functioning daily life (doing well in college, having friends and a social life, enjoying hobbies, etc). That didn't last all that long, roughly two years after that I was stressed to ludicrous levels, started avoiding going out and college went from going good, to acceptable, to terrible, to escentialy barely even attending in the span of a couple of months. So I actually looked for help, went to a psychologist and he told me that what I had was depression. I know it probably wasn't just all the repression going on inside me but also a number of other hang ups I've been ignoring for years but right now I can't stop wondering if this wouldn't haven't gone better if I hadn't ignored my non existent sex life so hard. I didn't continue the therapy for much long, gave up after 2 months at much.
I know I used depression as an excuse, an excuse to myself for not trying and evading problems, I continued doing like shit on college but I managed to get into a paid internship the next year and convinced myself that working would get rid of my problems. All I really did in the end was having a morning routine for one a half years while I kept doing nothing the rest of the day and made no progress at all in any aspect of my life while indulging in distractions (games, anime, youtube, this site, internet in general). I kinda quited college for 3(?) semesters after that and I can barelly remember what I even did in 2017, to the point that last year I realised to my shock that I've been blocking things from my memory left and right for god knows how long, it's usually rather mundane things that somehow remind my of some other thing I don't want to deal with. I figured it out after looking for prices of a book I needed for college and a few days later suddenly remembering that I had already bought it years before for the same purpose, and than that period of time was years in plural and that there was a bigger gap of time that what I percieved between 2014 and 2018. I kinda rediscovered the whole sexual orientation after that, I only kept the more superficial elements in my concious mind like the "I think I might be bi" thought while burying everything else as deep into my subcouncious as possible, I also found some other "annoying" stuff there, like how the bullying I suffered in school affected me a lot more than what I was willing to recognise (words can actually fuck you up), family stuff (I don't want to go into details, is not about the things you normally hear about people that complain, is actually that I feel deeply disapointed in my parents and can't really talk about this with anybody), and I swear that there was some other stuff but that last bit managed to derail my train of thought.
My god this turned into a mess of a rant, having serious doubts about clicking submit or not, this site probably isn't the place to share this kinda crap but I'm 29 and feel like I wasted my youth hiding inside my room and if I'm gonna waste so much time in this damned forum I might as well use it. It's not like I am active in any other place of the web.
I just wanted to vent cos I'm planing to try something dumb, I always wanted to do some sort of artistic thing but I suck at, well all, cos I never had constance to even start. The closest thing I have to show for is a few pieces of pixel art I did for the last year, I'm incredible inconsistent and go sometimes months without touching it so there's no much but I have an idea for a thread that would push me to make one per week for the next couple months and that would force me to get better and develop a habit. Maybe that will improve my self steem a bit cos I have to get my shit in order asap for, reasons. I've been sitting here writing this shit for about forty minutes, didn't expect it to take that long, guess I'm slow at writing. Have to go, lets hope I don't regret dumping the contents of my inner monologue.
Comment has been collapsed.
good luck on the artistic thing! Maybe post your work here? We'll be nice to you maybe :D and it'll help you to actually keep doing it...
Comment has been collapsed.
I can barelly remember what I even did in 2017, to the point that last year I realised to my shock that I've been blocking things from my memory left and right for god knows how long
Me sentí identificado con eso, no se si es lo mismo que experimentas pero a veces me encuentro, por poner un ejemplo, con un video de youtube que ya habia visto, no le doy a play porque lo recuerdo como si lo hubiera visto hace tan solo un par de días (y no precisamente por tener buena memoria), por mera curiosidad veo la fecha de subida y me doy cuenta de que pasaron más de 5 años desde que lo vi, que en todo ese tiempo no hice nada y que no solo no voy a recuperar mi tiempo perdido, sino además el tiempo de todo/s lo que me rodea.
Es una sensación horrible, es como despertar de un coma y que por unos segundos tengas lucidez, pero que luego te empiece a dar sueño y debilidad nuevamente mientras poco a poco te vuelves a dormir esperando hasta la siguiente vez en que puedas despertar.
¡Fuerza y ánimos!
Comment has been collapsed.
Blocking memories out is sometimes linked to depression but can also be about deeper issues or more painful memories you've been blocking out.
I know it's hard to confide in a total stranger but therapy might be more helpful this time around if you talk to your therapist specifically about your memory black-outs.
Now this is going to sound stupid but you're only 29. Just because you think you wasted your youth (you did not) doesn't mean your life is wasted. It's still very much in front of you so don't stick to the behavior patterns that led you here. Try to open up more. Find friends you can relate to. And you shouldn't feel bad for "ranting" if that helps you release some of what you've been bottling up inside you for so long.
Good luck with your art. Trying new things is never dumb. It may not lead to anything other than a well needed outlet for all that stuff inside you. But even that won't be a waste of time.
Comment has been collapsed.
[Impulsion] ( http://www.sgtools.info/giveaways/e6834971-8ec1-11e9-8cae-fa163e96784d ) SGT | Lv4 | AskFire3 | June 21
Comment has been collapsed.
[Sudden Strike 4](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/2uOoG/sudden-strike-4) Lv0 | malabagaa | June 23
Comment has been collapsed.
I like the message of this thread
[Frozen Synapse Prime](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/zn04Z/frozen-synapse-prime) Lv2 | jungleboyjeremy | June 21
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/zn04Z/frozen-synapse-prime
Comment has been collapsed.
Not entering anything, but wanted to give a bump. My husband has severe depression and even on meds (lots of meds lol... And yes he's tried changing. You name it, he's prolly been on it) he still has the occasional depressive episode like he's having tonight. It reminded me about this thread and I couldn't remember if if this thread was still up(my own issues shot my memory to shit) but I know it deserves a bump.
I'm very thankful I don't have depression (PTSD and PPD for me) but everyone currently fighting it has my full respect. It takes some real strength to deal with it. Keep up the good fight and don't forget you really aren't as alone as you may think :)
Comment has been collapsed.
Hope I'm doing the formatting right
[Tacoma](https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/T6pLn/tacoma) Lv1 | Aethyna | June 30Comment has been collapsed.
🌟 Active giveaways 🌟
If you want to share giveaways, please use this template:
copy everything inside the ` (even the opening/closing `grave accents`), edit and and paste it in your reply
Please use the format provided above! It's easier for me to copy-paste multiple giveaways in this thread. Remember, yours aren't the only links I have to put here.
It will take me a few days to update the list. To avoid having your giveaway not "showcased" set its duration to more than 5 days (unless you don't care, it's up to you).
Original thread - Original Post by DesertMouse1
I've dealt with depression for over a decade, plus PTSD and some health complications which also make things even worse than what they are. But at least I had people that helped me. Friends, family, and even strangers from support groups that made things easier.
You should NEVER think you are alone, because there's always someone willing to help if you look around you. This might sound cliché but it's real, there are terrible people but there are also extremely kind ones. 💙
Also, if you can and you feel strong enough, please lend a hand to others in need. I've done this for years when I am confident enough that I can take on other people's problems without affecting my health to the point of getting me down.
Remember it's important to help others, but also take care of yourself.
Diagnosed depression isn't a joke (as in diagnosed by a professional and not by the patient, don't confuse it with other symptoms!). It's a serious condition and it shouldn't be taken lightly because it's not a physical illness. Just like cancer ends up with death, depression will escalate to suicide or cripple you in many ways.
Everyone feels "down" once in a while, but for some people it's a daily pattern of depression. The good news is that it is treatable.
Usually through therapy, medication, or a combination of the two. Antidepressant medication, despite some side effects, can help lift a person from the depths of depression within weeks of starting medication therapy.
If one medication doesn't work for you or the side effects are too much for you to live with, keep in mind that there are many others your doctor could give you to try.
Make sure your doctor knows about any other meds you are taking and always ask questions about your medication therapy, if needed.
Btw, DON'T get self-diagnosed, it's a terrible idea. You might be sad or during a grieving period, so always check with a doctor.
Besides, I don't know about other countries but over here antidepressants are only available if you have a medical prescription, so you will only be left with a possibly wrong diagnostic and no way to deal with it.
Some info:
What Is Depression?
Google users can now screen themselves for depression, then seek treatment
Taking Care of Yourself While Supporting a Depressed Loved One
Comment has been collapsed.