This is actually a joke question asked on the quora website. Here is the best answer, which is also a joke, but I think people (especially the people with whom I share blood in the UK) with a more than passing interest in history will be amused.

http://www.quora.com/I-want-to-attack-Great-Britain-How-can-I-defeat-the-British-army/answer/Carter-Moore

Full of good advice like "With a few exceptions, England hasn’t had to anticipate an invasion from the direction of Norway in the last 1,000 years; so it's unlikely that they will be expecting your army to come from there. The Norwegian fjords offer you plenty of opportunities to shield your army from detection until they’re ready to launch."

And "Step 2: Hijack a Vanguard-class ballistic missile submarine
Of all the contingency plans that might exist within the Ministry of Defence, I’m going to go out on a limb and doubt that they have one entitled, “The Bastards Use Our Own Ships Against Us.”"

*First paragraph enlarged because, honestly, sad as it is, some people don't understand that this is satire.

9 years ago*

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How would you invade the British Isles?

View Results
Sneak attack at night
Overwhelming force
Blockade at sea
Potato bombs!

Hmmm, not totally convinced...but it's still a pretty good answer. Have you read any of the War Nerd's stuff? You might like it. Oh and if you don't mind a little Sci-Fi in your historical fiction, you should check out Connie Willis' The Doomsday Book. Finished it last week, really enjoyed it.

9 years ago
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Named after the Domesday Book I presume, somehow I've missed reading this book even though it comes up in conversations sometimes and on message boards I have frequented. Thanks for the reminder:)

9 years ago
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make a tea party. get elected cause British loves them teas. throw tables and become king. of course there is a robin hood. marry Marian. robin gets mad cause potato. invite robin to tea party (this time an actual party). he accepts cause British loves them teas. poison robin's tea with them bad sensual teas. robin flips table. u grab teas cause that's ur job as king of british pll. robin drinks tea but first king must drink. after that you bring them cakes cause tea and cake is awesome and you are AWESOME king. you feel a bit dizzy in the head. but that's not the sensual tea cause u r immune to that shit. after going home u see Marian is cheating on u with that monk and you don't even know his name. feel bad. divorce Marian. later that day robin marries Marian. at the same day Marian cheats on robin with that father monk that I still don't know his name. robin gets mad. robin kills you.

so you can't be king of uk unless you are gay and marry robin and forge an unbreakable ally and f@@k that Marian and that monk btw.

9 years ago
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I would block every trade routes and wait until they wither away from the lack of tea, and when they are no more than husks of their former selves I would appear as a saviour, The TeaBringer.

9 years ago
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Saint Adam the Teabringer, whose feast day is May the 27th:P

9 years ago
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This comment was deleted 6 years ago.

9 years ago
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Unfortunately the royal family doesn't have the power it once did, besides, her son has an heir.

Maybe I'll go back in time, enlist the Earl of Warwick(known to history as The Kingmaker during the War of the Roses) and convince him to ally himself with me and my modern weaponry that I somehow stole from the same place I got a working time machine.No flaws in this plan!

9 years ago
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Closed 8 years ago by Khazadson.