My dad passed on.

Understandably a turbulent time in your life. Don't take life changing decisions in these circumstances. Other than hollow words over the internet, I as a stranger can only share a moment of silence for the departed and hope you endure the situation.
One of the many experiences in life are to just accept the given, because sometimes you just don't have any control.

always remember one thing everthing is temporary here happines,sorrow,fear,money,love even life is temporary we all have to die one day nothing is infinite.

I'm sorry for your loss. You aren't a monster for not feeling certain emotions after a loss. Some people have a delayed response to death. Both me and my fiance for example. It took 9 years for me to really feel the impact of my grandmothers death. People are all different but it doesn't make you a monster.

As for a job... It's tough. Management in jobs are looking for the impossible right now. Entry level jobs asking for people to have x amount of years of experience in that position... Certain jobs requiring x amount of years for new skills (software/coding languages/etc) that haven't even existed for as long as they demand you have experience in.... To top it all off a lot of jobs prefer that you already have a job at the time... Keep looking though. You'll eventually find a hiring manager that needs staff and will hire. Good luck with your job hunt. If you need to talk, want to vent privately to someone you can add me on Steam, or just go to an old giveaway on my page and rant away. I'll lend an ear even if that's all you want.

My condolences

You sound like I felt when my dad passed. I wish I had wisdom for you but here's the only thing I can tell you: don't measure your life by comparison to his. You are not your father. Your life and your death are your own to make what you will. Nothing is set in stone for anyone. Keep looking up.

about 3 months ago my father died from cancer. He was way too young. 3months feels like, not a lot of time, when such horrific things happen. I can see your post is only 2 days old. I can imagine a lot is happening right now. Quick warning: Things sometimes feel like they get worse before they get better. In terms of mental pain the third week might be worse than the first and second week.The only advice I have: try to get some sleep.

My condolences

I'm sorry. I know how you feel. I experienced it twice in less than a week. And you think you've got it under control and then something comes along that just pulls the rug out from under you. I wish I could tell you how it ends, but I'm still grieving.