I am also very sensitive to strangers so I am familiar with what you feel. I think you need to work hard on that, but that is SO EASY to say than to actually do it, i am painfully aware of it.
A psychologist may help putting your thoughts in order and give insights that you would never think of by yourself, but in the end the whole thing can only be improved by you. I improved a bit, but still have ways to go. It starts with baby steps.
Glad that things improved since your first post, still, this situation could repeat in the future, with different people so I still recommend checking a psychologist. It sucks that we should be trained to deal better with hostility, rather than those people be trained not to be hostile. But thats the way it is.
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There's way too much reiteration of "I'm not a tough person", "I find it hard to do X", "this is not me" and similar thought-terminating cliches going on.
No one is tough. Everyone has its breaking point. That suprivisor of yours will whine like toddler given right circumstances. And that's normal. That's human.
Toughness, assertiviness etc aren't inherent traits. They're learned behaviours. Skills. And most important of them all is the skill of Not Giving a Flying Fuck.
Start small. Do damage assessment. He yelled at you. What are the consequences? Are they objective? Does it has a lasting impact? Are you positive that you could remember this incident in three years time?
Changing job wouldn't help. There are people out there who would yell at you. Undermine your authority. They'll do anything they could get away with in order to demonstrate that they have a higher rank in a given group. And this Will Hurt. If you let it. If you care. If you give a fuck.
There's nothing wrong in feeling uncomfortable, miserable, etc, etc. But why should you? Why you should cling to that "i'm not tough" shite? What are the benefits? How it helps you? When you was learning how to walk you didn't think "I find walking very hard I think it's not me", right? You tried. Failed. Tried again. And again. And now you could walk and run and jump and dance. But to hell with that. You've developed an excellent command of second signaling system for fuck's sake! Language competence is a very very very complex skill. But you've nailed it! And if english is not your mother tongue you did it twice in a row! The meager skill of not giving a fuck about x absolutely pales in comparison.
And no. I'm not some alpha male that goes around shooting advice about growing a pair. I had a very hard time talking to people in general. I feared them. Loathed them. Felt sorry for myself. Felt that's i'm lacking. Felt defective. But then i stopped. And asked myself - why should I? What benefits I receive from that way of thinking? When I tried to adapt. Failed. Tried again. Failed. Got a depression in process. But I worked it out. So should you. Because you most likely stronger than I was. Hell you most likely stronger than I am now. There is a silver lining. No one, no fucking one could rob you of this.
Sorry for my english, tldring and the tonality of the post. I'm drunk and overworked atm.
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I am working on trying harder, I can ignore certain things when it's not confrontational, or even worse in public. I think it's more just the 1-on-1 like if someone approached me and tried to start an argument, I would have no idea what to do and I'm not(I know, more "i'm not" statements) a physical person for the most part, so for me it's more naturally to just stop talking and keep to myself. It's something I need to work on but for now being more outgoing and confident in my personality is a bit hard for me, so I'm just sort of taking it in steps.
Anyways, problem is solved, so I'm going to close this thread. Thank you everyone for the comments, I was able to gather the courage to at least blurt out an apology and explanation and it was taken very nicely and my coworker/supervisor was very understanding.
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Anyways, problem is solved, so I'm going to close this thread. Thank you everyone for the comments, I was able to gather the courage to at least blurt out an apology and explanation and it was taken very nicely and my coworker/supervisor was very understanding.
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I hesitated a lot in making this thread because stuff like this is usually seen as weak and silly. I'm not a tough person. I usually keep to myself and go mute when I'm angry, sad, uncomfortable, etc., and I'm just not a tough person. I can't handle certain situations by confronting them directly. I just can't, it's not who I am.
I recently found out a supervisor at my work presumably doesn't like me and I have no idea why. I don't talk a lot, I'm quiet, etc. I say hi to people when I come in for work and occasionally when I pass them but then I more or less focus on my work. I also find it very awkward and uncomfortable to look at or speak to people who get angry at me, shout at me, or raise their voices to me. I mean, I think it's natural. It's an uncomfortable situation to be confronted with or have somebody be angry, annoyed, etc. with you. Those feelings don't easily go away, and I'm painfully aware of that. I don't hold grudges but I know how easy it is to. I guess it's important to note that I'm a very sensitive and emotional person too. That's some context to what I'm about to explain.
So, at the moment I work at a grocery store(under a placement system of 3 months I think, from an employment agency) in the dairy section and sometimes frozen. I'm a new worker(3 weeks of 20~ hours a week), so I still don't know/remember a whole lot. Last week, we were out of the cheap popular bulk brand of unsalted butter so I asked my supervisor if we had any more of it but mentioned that we also had this other band of salted butter that got delivered that day. I think the issue here is that my question got interpreted as me asking if unsalted butter of another brand was on this brand's load and that's not what I was asking. He then proceeded to shout at me, make me feel very uncomfortable and stupid and almost make me cry. I decided to keep to myself for the rest of the shift and focus on my work because yes, I was feeling very uncomfortable and very bad about myself. A person I've known for a while(since grade 2, so about 15 years or so), that I was working on the same shift(and then the next one after that) reassured me that it's normal in this work environment and that it's fine and nothing to feel bad about since a lot of the people in the store are apparently pretty out spoken. It didn't really help, despite how nice of a guy he is. I went home feeling depressed and shitty.
Today, after literally just arriving, my supervisor for my department at a grocery store basically confronted me in front of somebody else about how I never say hi or talk to him and I can assure you that's not true(or so I personally believe, my personality may not be translating easily, I don't know). Naturally I was pretty confused and it only made the overall situation more uncomfortable and awkward for me. The fact that there was somebody there to witness it just made it really awkward and embarrassing. I tried to tell the person who witnessed it that I had no idea what it was all about and that I was confused but I feel like this was a permanent reputation scar. Today was even more awkward and uncomfortable. I actually started randomly crying a tiny bit at some point but luckily it was in the back freezer and no one noticed but... It happened and I feel terrible about it, with feelings of weakness. I don't know if in the future I will straight up star crying and be scolded or mocked for it.
I think some people will remember my last thread I made where I talked about some personal problems and feelings I'm dealing with in life right now. I truly appreciated all of the comments and help but those issues are still with me and I feel like it's something that will always affect me, for the foreseeable future. I haven't tried to get any help yet but I've been very busy and lots of stuff in life is just hitting me one after the other, I just don't know how to handle everything and find time to try and talk to someone. I'm also finding it hard to just think about seeking help but I'm still trying to think about it.
This makes me feel weird and overly-dramatic but I'm actually SCARED to go to work with the extremely uncomfortable and shitty atmosphere that I've been feeling this last week. I don't feel threatened. I sort of feel threatened but I feel threatened by everyone. Honestly, there's some personal issues at the roots of that, which I won't go into detail. I'm more scared of feelings of being rejected, feeling like shit/less than nothing, and just generally feeling like no one likes me. I also don't know if these situations are going to worsen if a manager gets involved since a supervisor and somebody who has been working there for a while will obviously be considered more important than me, a new worker. I want to keep it all to myself but I know that doesn't help the situation at all and if it worsens then I don't know what I would do.
Sorry. I had to get this off my chest and I'm sincere when I say I have no where else to go. I know threads like these usually aren't taken seriously(despite all the support I got on my last thread, I just always have an insecurity that stuff like this is never taken seriously, sorry, I truly appreciate my last thread's support) and it's usually just taken as clutter on a website like this but I really needed to talk about this. There is no where else I can go and post anonymously and not feel embarrassed or scared of being affected in real life. Thank you if read all of this. I know some people might find it exhausting to hear people whine about their problems but if you read anyways, I sincerely thank you.
EDIT: I also don't want to break any rules so I will delete the thread if this is cluttering up the forums.
(obligatory giveaway drop)[https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/uLgMb/tricky-towers]
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