I don´t talk to people, they talk to me (I´m not sure why, I´m not funny or something), or another friend introduce me with other people, so I don´t know how to. Sorry I can´t help you :) but if you want I can be your friend if that´s what you are looking.
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I go where there are people in social situations and they start talking to me. I then respond by talking to them too. Before long, some of us get along nicely, usually.
Sometimes it's just one-sided. If the other person likes me, and I don't particularly like the other person, I often just get used to them and end up liking them well enough after all. If I like the other person, but the other person doesn't seem particularly enthusiastic to me, I try to arrange to be in the same social setting as that other person again, in the hope that we might just need another try. If that doesn't work after a time or two, I quit trying.
Simple process.
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Friends? What does it mean? I even don't know who are all this people in my Steam.
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Make friends? Typically out of circuitry, welded metal... oh? Not like that? (Sorry, I just woke up from a dream where I built a small scale GLaDOS that fit in my room. sighs)
Well, honestly... I have an issue that keeps me from leaving the house unless forced to (big emphasis on forced :p), so as pathetic as people lucky enough not to be deathly terrified of public places may think it is, online-only socialization is completely viable. It seems to take more effort to make actual friends online, as you'll likely end up with dozens of people whom you just chat with and that's about it, but I've ended up with a good handful of people who flat-out said we'd be friends offline if only we lived nearer and who I'm actually quite close to. Hell, I met my girlfriend online. She saw my derpy game videos and thought I was cute (and yes, we have since met in person and talk every day until the next time she's nearby).
Despite how my posting here may look, I'm actually the type who won't speak unless spoken to, even online. Just watch for common interests and try striking up a conversation starting with something you both clearly like. For me, it's usually programming and/or game design. As soon I see that, I usually break my "don't speak unless spoken to" rule and ask them something, bring up I'm learning programming, etc. Conversations will hold longer and will be significantly more interesting for both sides if you find something you both like rather than being all like, "HEY HEY I HAVE THIS RAD PAPER BAG COLLECTION BRO. CHECK IT OUT."
It's a long shot, but you could try semi-random adds (people you saw on a forum you thought were interesting, etc). People somewhat randomly add me (I guess I'm funny or something? I don't know), and one of the most random, out of the blue adds ended up being one of the few people who considers me an actual friend. Go figure.
This is a probably a loser comment to most people, but really, go have a full fledged panic attack in a goddamn grocery store and get back to me on that. It's not funny.
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I guessed there'd be one or two other people like me. Forums are far too easy to comfortably hide in. Slap on a new name and a new face, and you're all set. lol
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I usually try to make fun of how much i hate the outside, over the years of living with this social axiety you describe, i became bitter and cynical. it's not as bad as having panic attacks in supermarkets, but i have an uneasy feeling, being amongst other people. me and m girlfriend, practically live together, but i won't give up my appartment. She's and my son are only persons i can tolerate around me for more than a few minutes without turning away in, i don't know what. So basically, i don't make friends, i do not know if i need some, or if it makes my life better to have them. I don't miss people, i don't need them, i don't even like them, does that make me a bad person?
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"I usually try to make fun of how much i hate the outside"
Actually, I do too and don't mind jokes about it. I just get irritated if people try to pin me as a loser or something. I got chased/briefly stalked by grown men trying to abduct me more than once when I was a bit younger, and it's left me panicked everyone's out to get me. :/ The "everyone is" part's irrational, subconscious fear, which is why I'm currently doing something about it.
"So basically, i don't make friends, i do not know if i need some, or if it makes my life better to have them. I don't miss people, i don't need them, i don't even like them, does that make me a bad person?"
I'll be blatant about it - I didn't even want people in the same room as me before that issue of mine reached its peak (the panic attacks and such). I've always been excessively antisocial and didn't want nor need friends (though the anxiety issue runs deep; it's hard to tell when it was by choice I didn't want friends and when fear forced it). I think some part of me is currently using the chatting/friend making as part of the healing process... kinda like trying to relearn that not everyone is an evil rapist-murderer-kidnapper. ._.;
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I just accepted a few things in my life. Not being comfortable around people is one of them, My parents did a mixed job on raising, along with the psychologists they sent me too, and the german school system did a lot of it's part to that. This is the first time i discuss this in public. And people will mark me as some kind of weirdo. I don't really care about that.
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Honestly, sometimes it's less about socialization and more about facing fear by trying to talk to people in any way, online included. Though lately I've actually... liked talking to people. Don't know where the hell that came from; I used to not even tolerate people being around me too long. lol
Also, psychologists don't help imo. I was severe enough I took a different route, plus created my own method of facing it ("Today I'll go to X store without somebody else." If that works, "Today I'll go to X store without someone else and speak a slight bit more when a cashier asks me something [usually they ask about my nails; they're a good inch or two long lol].") Took a similar approach to talking online too, starting by posting something really generic that would go mostly unnoticed (thus hindering conversation), and gradually making more noticeable posts. I'm a point where I can go food shopping and stuff without panicking... most of the time. I still have my moments, and I'm still very anxious and awkward, but well, small steps or whatever.
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i see your point, but, it's not the same with me, it's a slightly different thing, it's an uneasyness, coming from something like, to be found out. i have been told all my life by various persons, i am highly intelligent. in school, i tried to make use of that, and got bullied for it. At university people avoided me because of it, stood back in awe when i walked by. i always faced violent opposition when it came to making a point that was absolutely valid. People don't take kindly when they are proven wrong. I talked to teachers, doctors, my parents, anyone who didn't avoid. all just told me to be who i am, but as soon as i did, i was in pain, avoided, misunderstood. It's hard for me not to think of the general population as morons. It's hard for me to go outside, and being afraid that people think i could be superior, more clever or something.
Eventually, i started to think, everyone else is inferior in things of intellect. i have grown arrogant and worse, i treated people like they were worth less than me. I lost touch with the people around me. And it feels like i lost touch with humanity itself.
I can only communicate with others, by not being myself. By trying to be like them. And for that i developed a selfloathing beyond compare.
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Ah, I see. I had a toned down version of that for a while before the complete and total fear thing kicked in. I was top of all my classes before I left to be homeschooled (which, I mean I still did well, but it's hard not to be top of your class when you're then only one in it lol), in advanced programs, finished projects and extra credit projects days earlier and had to sit around doing nothing in class, etc. I had a combination of other people being like, "Oh that's that weird genius kid. Why should we ever talk to her like a normal human being?" and me feeling like they must be extremely stupid to take days doing the main project when I had both it and the extra one done in one class (though I scolded myself for thinking that way and it never had a chance to escalate as much as it could've).
I was (and still am) a terrible, terrible perfectionist, to the point of getting irritated whenever anyone in whatever group I was forced into messed up anything little or just didn't seem to be showing enough initiative for my liking. I know I'm horrible to work with because I can get kind of nasty and end up with a "I'm better than you, so either do it right or get out of my way" sort of air... plus that whole "How dare you ruin my name by screwing this up," thing with me.
...I'm honestly ashamed of that.
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Don't be ashamed of it. Being the best you can, is not a crime or something to be ashamed of. The trouble is, the cleverer you are, the lonelyer you get. and you have to face, that you are weird, while you are not. it's all relative to a point of view. fact is humans are not equally blessed, gifted, or whatever. i keep reminding myself of that. but also, i keep reminding myself that i am lost, if i have to run a marathon or actually build something that is not electronic. not because i don't know how it works, just because i am to weak. But by now, i am proud of being clever.
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I am a pretty outgoing person, so I crack jokes and people talk to me. If I like them or they seem to want to be my friend, I become friends with them. It's not that difficult really.
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Try. If you don't try and just stay online and "socialize" that way, then don't cry. FB and talking to be online is not socializing.
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Snow is better if you're sick of fairweather friends...
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I know it's a cliche, but just be yourself, that is the most important tip. If you ever see a person (online of in real world) who you find interesting, just be brave and strike up a little conversation with them. You will usually learn quickly if they are also interested in befriending you. You can't force people to become friends with you (in most cases), it has to come naturally. When you find the right people for you, it's destined to work, trust me :)
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Either online, in-games or in real life, how's the way you socialize with people (the kind of way that you would make a friend?) like do you choose who do you want to be your friend or someone to communicate with or it could be anyone? Like in public or private? Do you ever feel embarrassed or shy from like something?
Also could these tips also include or relate on how to make a gf?
EDIT: I also don't want random adds because of this thread, I'm just asking for advice, because you make friends by talking to them and developing a friendship, not so easily, so please and sorry.
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