VAC banned no reason please help

I'm sure several people will already be plowing through my Steam profile looking for discrepancies - but I haven't actually been VAC banned, it is just the title of my choose-your-own-adventure tale which is also a multiple giveaway!!!

Hopefully people will forgive a mildly misleading topic title for what I will describe as a monster-truck of a giveaway. Thirteen amazing games up for grabs for anyone with the persistence to follow all paths of this half-assed cow poop. One of them actually isn't a bundle game and is HARDCORE AAA+ GOTY AWESOME!!! May the Lord strike me down if that isn't 100% true.

(I already gave away both of my Bad Rats so it isn't that. And not Barbie Dreamhouse Party either, I really really want that for myself.)

Noble adventurers of at least level 2 begin your quest HERE!!!

EDIT - The giveaways have now ended and I'm sending out the gifts. Sorry the 'big prize' ended slightly before the others due to a miscalculation on my part, hopefully nobody was too disappointed. Thanks to everyone who took part and was positive. Screw the guy who just wanted to be aggressive about the potato poll - he's blacklisted.

I'll probably be doing another of these called 'Scammers took my CS:GO knives' once I have my giveaway slots back and another bunch of games. Plenty of people have made suggestions for improvements, feel free to make more.