Its been a while. And I have something I wanna say. (There might be some candy involved)

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So uh.... Things are different around here since I was last here. Many people I knew and looked up to have either quit SG or moved on to other things in their life. People cannot debate on something without gouging each other's eyes out, or bringing up drama that doesn't concern the topic at hand. With all that said and done (which I am sure many others have pointed out before me), I have to understand that this community has to, and will, change as time passes, for better or worse, and that I must learn to either adapt with it, or move on. But there is one thing that's been bugging me.

I, myself, have changed. And not in the way you would think.

There was a time when I used to be able to pick up a game, play it at a stretch, and be done with it. That was when I had barely any games to play. Heck, my first game was Claw, my second, Onimusha 3, third, Batman Arkham Asylum, and finally fourth, TF2 (which is what brought me to Steam). During my time here, I not only learnt that I had not played 90% of all the good titles out there, but that I had been looking at the gaming industry through a keyhole. I learnt about the distinction between AAA and Indie games, the existence of bundles, and of course, the significance of Steam in the middle of everything else. As my knowledge grew, so did my library, as well as my laptop's woes. There came a point when I couldn't play anything on the damn thing, and so I decided to play them later, and instead focus on trading up to a PC.

About a month ago, I finally built a good PC, and felt great about it. While I never really built it for gaming, there was definitely a part of me that was thrilled to be able to play ANYTHING that I choose to without anything in my way. So I left my PC on for a few nights, and downloaded over 60 titles. Once done, I said, "Let's play one". Then I kept staring at the list, pondering over what I should play. And as I did, I began to panic.

I was actually struggling to choose one.

After a point, I spaced out, and unconsciously fired up CS:GO instead of any of the new titles. And its not even a game I particularly like. Played a match, got bored, shut it off, and again stared at the list.

This was new to me. How could I not choose? What had happened to all those times when I could just download a game and play it immediately with no regrets? Was I so spoilt for choice that I had lost my drive to play? Was age catching up to me? Or was it something else?

To all those generous souls whose gibs I won , you have my heartfelt gratitude. But I just don't know what has come over me.

Am I unable to choose what to play?
Why am I wary when I will myself to choose any of them?
Do I feel like I am favoring one Steamgifter over the other?
Or do I feel like games have become a task, one that I must carefully plan before undertaking?

I honestly cannot tell. And I think maybe a fresh set of eyes might solve this conundrum I face.

As promised, here is your candy. Might only be for those over 5 though, sorry.

I would also like to mention that I do not want any sort of elitism, drama, hate, propoganda, passive aggressiveness, and any other form of negativity I may have missed, on this post. Learn to love each other instead, it would make it easier for all parties involved.

8 years ago

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119 Comments

Madumius

to be fair, that's how I felt/still feel too

8 years ago