Best comment evah! (Always)

Been here a short while, had my cakeday yesterday. That was the day I was kindly informed that cake day wasn't equal to birthday.
There you go, you learn something new every day. Thank you cucoo for straitening my stupid behind out.

Have had some real fun times, have given some games, have won a few, but what always gets me here is the people. Good people. Fun people. crazy people, stupid people, young people, old people, every kind of people. This is why I like this place, at the end of the day I've enjoyed being here because of the people that are here.

Today by mistake I dangled a prize in front of a punter who couldn't join at that level, made (him/her? I don't relly know/care) feel a bit sad. So I sorted that out by buying the bundle that contained the game and gave it with apologies. A conversation followed.
I'm quite sure we wouldn't have talked if I hadn't fracked up to begin with. But we did. Oh, yes we did. And the conversation made me lol. No not WRITE lol, it made me lol. You know: LAUGH OUT FRACKING LOUD. Several times.
And then the SG:er made me puke with laughter, with a simple comment.

And I see a lot of people here loving the place for the same reason as me, so now I'm looking for a person to make a contest where people can enter the funniest comment they have ever heard/read here on SteamGifts.
I would myself (yeah, IF I wasn't a lazy axx motherfucxxxer...).

I have (what I think is the) winning comment already, but I need someone to make the contest, so I can try to make the commenter a winner.

Anyone?

the first one
the second one
the third one
the fourth one

EDIT*
Have been asked to have blood and gore in the competition as well, so if we can make sure someone undeserving dies horribly then that would be good......