inspired by
:https://www.steamgifts.com/discussion/8jr77/late-cake-day-maybe-monster-hunter-world-and-re2-giveaways-will-be-added
this will be another one, will need your thoughts/ideas/ useful tips/ advices
so, for some years now, about 3-4 since i graduated from school i cant find inner peace in my life, i hate everyday( many reasons) but i try to find good in everyday still :D
Like, be busy for maximum or something, i use gym as best cure for myself, but now gym is not enough...
any advices how to find yourself in life? in my opinion, inner peace is what every people try to find in their lives...

https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/zuZ3J/monster-hunter-world

5 years ago*

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monster hunter world or re2( both standart editions, sorry guys)

View Results
monsterino hunterino
biohazard 2 for sure

The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. -Abraham Lincoln

5 years ago
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
-Reinhold Niebuhr

The first part might be the most important part for you(there is more following that sentence, but since you said god doesn't work for you, i left it out).
Furthermore u might want to try to socialize a bit more. Sometimes all i need is a good talk with friends to fix the world for me.

5 years ago
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I'm double your age and don't have any useful advice. That's depressing in and of itself. :(

Thank you for the giveaway, in any case. :)

5 years ago
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Hi, thanks for the giveaway, I'm 22 and I like to think I've found a great deal of inner peace. I believe inner peace is also linked to self-acceptance. I grew up in an abusive place and I always hated myself. I found my self-value in finding healthy and positive ways to give to others. I volunteered in my community, made a lot of new friends, and made a positive impact on the people around me, I found my value in that. I would also recommend spending time or helping with children. I know that seems a bit strange, when I was in high school I worked in a daycare and for a year, those kids kept me going. There is so much positivity and creativity in children and that gave me a chance to see the world differently. Kids are also generally less judgemental. As long as you show care and compassion, they will too.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, that we can gain a sense of inner peace through giving and being a part of a community. Volunteer work is an excellent way to find self-value and acceptance of yourself.

Some people also find peace in seeking God or religion, I don't know your stand on that, but it wouldn't hurt to look into different religions and groups. Even if it's not for you or you don't have faith, it can make you more tolerant and understanding of others if you try to learn and understand, which can be its own kind of peace.

Good luck in your journey for peace!

5 years ago*
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your advice is nice, will think about this more.
i try " and positive ways to give to others" but since im not very social, hard for me.

5 years ago
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You must be the most mature and enlightened 22yo I've ever come across.
This post is damn refreshing. 💙

View attached image.
5 years ago
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TLDR

  1. Unplug yourself from your smart phone if you are on it more than 2 hours a day. It can be very detrimental to your psyche and especially your sleep. Go to bed early 10 PM or earlier. No late snacks/sweets. Cut out all sugar/caffeine/alcohol/nicotine/phone addictions. Once you start getting 8 hours or more of sleep a night, you'll feel a lot better.
  2. Eat more vegetables.

I'm 30. I got my first smart phone when I was 20. What I've noticed about is a lot of people have become addicted to their smart phones. If you sleep with your smart phone, please remember to disconnect from it. I keep mine 80+ feet from me when I go to bed. When I get an email/text message, my heartbeat shoots up and I probably get a shot of dopamine hormone go to my brain. If you get too much stimulation, your brain starts to build up a resistance and that stimulation takes more and more for you to get that same happiness from it. You can say the same thing about caffeine/nicotine/anti-depressants. The light from your phone or computer triggers you to be awake.

That's why I always say keep things in moderation about everything. Balance is everything. You are an adult now so you have to be responsible for yourself. My mother who has a sweet-tooth contracted diabetes, because she couldn't balance what she ate. It's gotten so bad for her she's disabled now and I take care of her. She's normal weight, but she's had 3 heart attacks due to her sugar levels always being so high. She fell and broke her arm with her last heart attack. Her addiction took away her independence and she relies on me now for most things.

Your health is the most important thing. You may go to the gym, but that's not enough. Eating more vegetables in your diet is also very important.

5 years ago
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1) i do not have even smartphone, since i hate it ;D

  • problem is that since i feel lonely i use to sleep about 10 hours minimum a day, sometimes 2 hours during a day, but for me like 10-12 hours of a sleep now is my normal.
    2) yep
5 years ago
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Awesome (θ‿θ)

5 years ago
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don't wait for life to fix your problems, fix them yourself

eg. find another job, look for someone nice to date
(eg. not the easy one, but the nice/good one)

5 years ago
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problem with girls , rip :D

5 years ago
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The essence of why I am happy with my life is, that I chose which things I look at and which things I deem important. If my inner life always is about things I am unhappy about of course I'll be unhappy. So my advice would be to train to control how you percieve the world around you and even how you percieve your inner world. How to do that? Just sit down 10min a day, don't do anything, just percieve the world around you, the feeling of your body, or your feelings and thoughts. Try your best to be aware of what you percieve. Don't force yourself to think about special things or not to think at all. Just being aware of what you are percieving and that you are percieving is enough. By the way that is my personal definition of meditation.

So if I am now able to control(to some degree) on what things in life to put my focus, how can I have a positive view on life?

For me it were some logical thoughts that brought me in a inner position of strength:

I thought, for everything we see and know about there is the principle of cause and effect. My existence has a cause(namely my parents and their desire to reproduce). In turn my parents have a causes(for example their parents their desire to reproduce) and so on. Human's causes are apes and evolution, you can go on like this for quite some time. But this principle of cause and effect brings a logical problem. If it applies for everything, then we would have an infinitely long chain of causes and effects. That is possible, but extremely counterintuitive. Or it could be something like a circle. If you go on long enough everthing is its own cause and its own effect. Also counterintuitive. Or you say there is some point of beginning where the principle of cause and effect doesn't apply, like the big bang or like a god. Well that's also extremely counterintiutive and in the case of a god I have to make some pretty strong assumptions out of the blue.

I can't give an answer to this problem, but still have my own solution. Clearly we can see one thing: Existence in and of itself is a very wonderous and quite illogical thing. And for me personally this thought brings me into an inner position of strength. Before the fact of my existence itself, everything else isn't that big. If I am happy or unhappy, succesful or not, get to do what I want or not, all those are only causes and effects in this world. But as existence itself transcends cause and effect in a sense so does my own existence.

From this point of view, I was able to get a really relaxed view on life. You see, I could be a stone. I wouldn't be able to think or percieve, but I would exist. That would already be wonderous, as existence itself is wonderous, but I wouldn't know of it. But I'm not a stone, I'm a human. Not only do I exist I can even percieve my existence and even think about it. And there is more. I can decide if I want this life as a human or not. I'm free to die whenever. Well, actually I like this life so I'll stay around a while longer :) And then there is more. Being human isn't only a superficial existence. It is an extremely deep and diverse experience. I can feel happyness, sadness, love, peace, anger, satisfaction and so on. Some of them I like and some I don't. So I try to have more of the experiences I like and less of those I don't like. But you see, that's not really important, as the things I like and dislike are paling before the fact of my existence itself. That's what making me strong and relaxed for the things life is throwing at me.

Now coming back to the advice in the beginning. If I'm in a bad mood or everything feels empty, I just close my eyes and feel my own existence. I percieve therefore I exist. Just taking this step back and therefore reminding myself of the remarkability of my own existence, is most of the times enough to find or recover my inner peace.

5 years ago
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since i do not really appreciate my life, not for me)

5 years ago
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Deleted

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5 years ago
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I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings. In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.

[…]

Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away. It is not important that he should mature as soon as an apple tree or an oak. Shall he turn his spring into summer? If the condition of things which we were made for is not yet, what were any reality which we can substitute? We will not be shipwrecked on a vain reality. Shall we with pains erect a heaven of blue glass over ourselves, though when it is done we shall be sure to gaze still at the true ethereal heaven far above, as if the former were not?

Henry David Thoreau

5 years ago
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ahh, well. Its about finding that sweet spot in this existence that makes you happy. Everyones idea of it differs and everyones way of dealing with our inevitable uselessness towards existence differs.

Regarding gym - depends on how you describe "cure". If you go to unload anger and get tired - its hardly a cure. I go to gym because I am enthusiastic about muscle development. At one time I wanted to study something related to sports. I love checking out new exercises and trying them out. Trying different training programs and it makes me happy. You have to aim for something that makes you happy instead for something that just unloads anger.

And you dont have to like to be around other people to enjoy being outside. You have to stop sulking inside and being angry at world and at yourself. Now and then I go to beach, find some secluded spot and read a book for some time. Ive driven to some further parking spot or even to woods and read books while sitting in car. No one around and you get lost in the book. Ive even written some small pieces myself and am thinking of trying to put my ideas together and maybe even write something..
Same goes for camping - I dont go with huge groups. Cant stand it. But with several friends only. Ive even went on to camp when some of my regular companions were busy. Really makes no difference - spending a weekend in a tent in forest or besides sea is one of the most relaxing things I have found out to help deal with depression

Music as well - Ive found that to be very therapeutical. Doesnt matter what mood, Ive found different genres and groups to compliment or reduce some moods. Some I go to are Metallica, Slipknot. Calmer and happier is Ghost (if your not religious that is). The Dead South is filled with feelings. Pop music goes well with good mood to enhance it and hype yourself. Im not very musical person myself - never attended chorus or played instruments, but I couldnt care less - Im looking to buying a guitar to have something to pour feelings in..

And Its not like Im some happy person just saying "stop being sad" as that reduces depression somehow. Ive gone through that all as well. I keep on fucking up what I do. I never stuck with my vocational degree, it doesnt look like Im going to stick with my Uni degree as well. Ive never held job for long and never made much of romantic relationships. I have had moments when being on verge of breakdown. But many of these things combined kind of pulled me through and made me more optimistic towards life. Even with my parents divorcing several times, me moving around without being steady and making friends.

Regarding God - never believed him. Never believed religion. Depends on person of course - if people can find hope in religion and that pulls them through - perfect. But a view from non believer - I have found similar feelings in exactly opposite view from religion. Into endless space - how it started. How it will end. Why did it happen. Kind of philosophy together with science. Im reading "A briefer history of time" by Stephen Hawking. Its fucking brilliant and for me this philosophy about origins of existence and what really IS everything takes daily worries away from me.

Thanks for the awesome GA. You can definitely answer and Id be happy to discuss more and give my insights on what you think

5 years ago
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for me gym is like my escape, ye, i go now mostly to unload anger+ its best motivation now, + i really like doing it, also trying new exercises and just training, now just for some time to unload anger also.
the problem is like mostly overthinking, like the biggest problem, since i like go even on beach, just relax and have nice time i start overthink, so i cant really relax.

5 years ago
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I totally get what you mean.
I had the problem for some time as well. Couldnt even relax when had a drink or smoked a bit. But in the end if you know how to do that in moderation those are awesome relaxation tools as well. I dont encourage that, just saying :D
Cant recall how I got over all that over thinking and trowing myself into pit of despair. I still have moments when I start to overthink and feel bad but I try to fill in the time with other activities so it doesnt get further. Thats why I read books when Im at beach.

Btw. Have you ever tried Reiki ? Its one of those alternative medicine type of dealies. Most likely doesnt do anything aside being kind of placebo for mind to wander and relax. But it still is very relaxing. I dont really believe it does anything, but I still liked to book a session every now and then when I was feeling depressed or angry and it really helped. It almost feels like it brings you on a trip through your mind. Thats a good thing to look up and try as well. Who knows - maybe it helps

5 years ago
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Bump.
Luck and good fortune be unto you.

5 years ago
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i dont think theres a perfect way of finding peace of mind, i'm just trying to do the things i enjoy, spend time with the people i love, and occasionally i have moments where im peaceful, where im happy and where im content. fix the problems you can, and work around the ones you cant. if you like creative works, try and have at least a few hours in a week where you can sit down and just do that hobby whatever it is

handcrafts are very helpful for me, particularly if im in places where i cant draw or take photographs, things like knitting or crochet let me set up a rhythm and then i just have to maintain that. it helps particularly in stressful situations where i cant really do anything, but i need to do something. it may not be your cup of tea, but something that you can do while in one spot might help

but honestly searching just for peace of mind by itself wont work, all you can do is just try and make the space for it so that it can at least theres room for it when you do find it

5 years ago
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i find peace of mind if i'm working towards the perfect self i want to be, not really putting pressure on myself if i ever get there or not, just knowing i'm not stagnant and still improving is enough.

Learning new stuff kind helps in this regard. good luck friend and thank you.

5 years ago
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