Are you prepared?

There's no magic formula to this sort of thing. One of the best things you can do is listen, and encourage them to keep talking to you.

Tbh no, i feel really unconfortable offering emotional support (mainly because i am not the biggest example of emotional stability) and to be honest there is no preparing for this kind of things, no really, i dont think even suicidal hotline people have an answear for this

You can check the relevant subreddits, they should have lists already.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/in-depth/suicide/art-20044707

• Get help from a trained professional as quickly as possible.

That goes for you as well. Don't go asking for advice from random people on the internet, most of whom are completely untrained to handle this sort of situation. Handled incorrectly, you can do far more damage than good.

That's unfair of her to put that on you, if she succeeded that would have wrecked you, you did nothing wrong, you did everything you could given the circumstances.

In this type of situation, you have to be in control, Such as "Do you want to talk to me?", or "Will you listen to me".
In general, in control is the best situation, and in general you would do your best so there will be no regrets later, so if you think you've done your best then don't worry or sad, it's fine it's going to be okay, your life is perfect :)

There's nothing you can do or say that will magically make somebody depressed and suicidal feel better, the only person who can actually help would be a psychiatrist that could prescribe medication and/or a licensed therapist. Lots of suicidal people will reach out for help one way or another but will refuse to reach out to professionals, and if they do they give up on medication and therapy too soon for it to work. You can try to comfort them, but I think the best advice would be finding a way to tell them to seek professional help.

Unless you can actually relate I'd never tell a suicidal person that you understand or that it'll get better, saying that really doesn't help. They need comfort but you should understand that whatever they decide to do, it was their decision and had nothing to do with you. There's no way you could have prevented it. If somebody is acting real strange like they're about to kill themselves and you know their name and where they live, you can call the police, they'll hate your guts but it could save their life. If it's over the internet and you don't know them though you can't do that, you can only be there for them to vent. You can't be their guardian angel, but you can be a listening ear and that could save a life on its own.

Some people scream for help but never grab the buoy you thrown (and some are not never trying), it's sad, but it is the way it is.
Also cool comment SG people.

You caught me unprepared gosh dang it!

I fortunately was never caught in the situation you were, but I know a handful of people that were either in your position or hers. It's a touchy subject and there's no real answer to the problem. You can't really follow a script because there's none. Each person is a person and should be handled accordingly.
As to answer the question, I don't know how I would handle the situation. Sure the solution would be call a professional, but if you get caught in the middle of the situation, there's no time for that, you need to say something now. Trying to redirect immediately to a suicide dial-up line might show him/her you being careless about the whole deal, even though you aren't. Plus she called you because she wants you and not some prat being paid to say nice things over the phone(not trying to devalue their duty, it's just phrasing).

And for the love of the Lord don't feel guilty about yourself. First off she did not do it because of you. Because you were there to listen to everything she had so say and tell out loud. You were there. You were there with her when she felt there was no one for her.
Second, even if she did, don't blame yourself for it. You did your best. There was nothing you could do to help at that moment. Grinding yourself over that will not be good for you. I'm not saying to to forget or not care if it happens, but more of a move on mind-set. Do the farewells and move on. Yeah yeah it always sounds easy on the paper, but you still gotta do it.

I have no plan if I ever get caught in a situation like those. I can be seen as rather cold with people despite doing my best effort. It's something I try to work out daily. Death related situations are a special challenge for me. But if I ignore it I'll be a bastard like everyone else, so I try to always say something. Better than be left ignored.

EDIT: And apparently I spent an hour trying to come up with a good helpful comment. I have to think what I want to say faster :blobsweat:

I once had that experience that some "friend" on PSN changed his status message into some note that raised concerns he might be suicidal.
While I didn't know too much about him (only that he lived in the UK), I was kind of indirectly prepared by knowing several people who work(ed) for SCEE. I alerted them and they took care of that scenario, alerting local authorities with more information about him than I could have provided.
I don't think that he is to this very day aware that it was me who got him those visitors, in the middle of the night.

I don't have any "plan" if I should ever directly be confronted with this topic. I imagine that listening and being supportive is the best you can do, next to informing local authorities once again.

Don't feel guilty. I mean, it's a credit to your humanity that you tried to help but if she had succeeded, that doesn't make you responsible.
Do you mind me asking, when you said she "attempted suicide", did it fail because she was interrupted or because she missed?
I'm not asking to pry. I don't need details, I'm just asking because sometimes people who are depressed may reach out and make a suicide attempt as a cry for help.
My point is, even if she did try to commit suicide, it doesn't mean you were not able to stop her. It just means you were not a factor at all. She would have done it anyway.

You are right though, it's not a situation anyone can shoulder without proper training. Speaking personally, as someone who had to literally talk a loved one off a ledge, at a young age, there is nothing you can say that will stop them if they do mean to go through with it. The only two thing you can do is to make them talk and listen.

https://www.steamgifts.com/discussion/DrsJt/youre-not-alone-3

Let me tell you a story, it's the story of my mother. After my parents divorce she threatened to kill herself whenever she wanted to control my actions or those of people she needed to.
But she never did it, she never died, she just ruined the life of people around her and made me miserable for half of my life. Make me end relationships, friendships, kept me like a pet at her service... Every-time i started to get a little independent she just used the good old dramaqueen tricks to keep me in line.

Fast foward in time, we are in 2013, one good friend of me jump off the 28th floor leaving a messy puddle on the ground. He never threatened, never asked for help tho, it just happened without warning.

So...remember, there is awful controlling people out there, watch yourself, the one asking for help maybe not always a victim.

That's a warning you won't get often.

There are bunch of useful articles in the internet about what to do in these situations, and confronting depression like in this case.
you should read just a few of them, it won't take much time, it's always better to know a professional opinion

It's difficult enough for a trained professional (clinical psychologist) to deal with somebody with suicidal ideation when they are right in front of them, let along remotely over a phone. If someone genuinely wants to kill themselves, there is not really anything you can do to stop them.
There are some techniques that might be helpful to some people, depending on their personality and issues. If somebody has fleeting, impulsive urges, encouraging them to delay action and arranging to discuss things again later might be helpful (although you cannot force such a commitment out of somebody and their decisions are theirs alone). A friend was treating a chronic self-harmer with Borderline Personality Disorder, who agreed (in her more reasonable moments) to freeze her favourite self-harming razor blade in a 4 kg block of ice (using an ice cream container) and promise to wait until it thawed before cutting herself.
Most importantly, it is not your responsibility, or anyone else's, to give meaning to another person's life, and you should not feel guilty regardless of the outcome (I realise emotions are not quite so simple). It's very unfair of your friend to have tried to put that sort pressure on you.

Well, all I can say is just let the person know you are there for him/her and there is a high chance they just want to be heard and sometimes it doesn't even matter what you say really, so just try to be there for the person and that's it I guess.

To be fair, when I told my almost 6 year boyfriend the other day that I had the thoughts of grabbing a knife 2 days earlier, his responds was 'well, you should not do that' (not exactly what he said but it's something like that) and after that he said to talk to my psychiatrist.
That was the best he could come up with, so to be fair, close to everything is better than that really! :P

It give no plan for it or a prepare when it appears surprisingly.

I had such thoughts and 1x a (weak) attempt, in a long gone past, too. So i know the situations from both sites.

I was everytime the helping guy/friend. In such situations too with a lot of talking and energy investments. Not used my bit of energy for myself. I was so stupid to offer it everytime for other people. Not there fault it was mine.
It don't do good things for myself and a big part of such people (special online) only talk, want someone that solve there problems for them and such stuff. They want attention. It sounds very harsh but it is the reality.

When it is someone you know longer/better or in reallife it is a different situation.
Then you see direct if there is more then words.

But in both cases you have only ONE possibility that don't destroy you over time.
Bring the person to the result that he WANT to talk with a psychologist.

And have everytime one thing in front of your inner eye
He/She must WANT to make the step, you can only show them the right direction.

When the inner pressure is high enough he/she will change something.

In my own case i spoken before about it. Only with my best friend and only 1x because i wanted nobody to burden with my shit. I only talked with him that he know where my last words are when i do it.
In the end i can say it was a asshole move and gave my best friend the worst role at it.
Before the attempt i not said something, i closed all other ones out of my mind. Weeks before, out of my life, my flat. I wanted to make it "as easy as possible" for them.
And in the end was my son the only thing why i don't gave up, fighted me back to life -without medicine shit-. Its hard to say that but he is the only reason why i am still alive (he was my rescue without knowing that only because he was there. So tiny and needed me... [in the end i needed him much more]) Yeah it costed a lot of energy, a lot of talks with a psychologist but it changed a lot in my life. The worst stuff that were over 20 years in my backpack are gone at least to a level i can live with, don't have depressions -or worster stuff- and don't have endless thoughts about millions of things to and around it. I am alive. mentaly and physically.
And to be honest... with more range to the stuff years ago i can say "i was a idiot that i don't looked much earlier for professional help from a psychologist". I was not able to see that in this situation because it builded up more and more walls and throw me in a deeper and deeper hole with each year.
I was to proud, don't wanted be a burden, don't want accept that i can't handle it alone, don't wanted to be "weak" (yes stupid because it is not a weakness to accept help when it is needed but in male groups are weak ones the people that needs help and that ones are in the hierarchie at the bottom. Good work, females.and all that go not to the one at the bottom. Sure a society problem (at least in germany but i think that counts not only for this country) but as a young guy you are so "trained" in this "scenario".
As a old(er) guy i can say that i give a shi on the society's "rules" that are ill (the other ones are good :o) ).
So when i need help i can accept that (as a guy i try first to solve it by myself and maybe i am not happy when i need help but accepting is enough.., :-D). I learned that a lot of people (special females) like "unique" males that are a bit "out of the frame". That can be Gentleman and Conan at the same time^^ grinning*. That live THERE life because they want it to live it this way not because the society say this or that.
I don't live how my neighbors want it, or people in my village or someone else (girlfriend excluded ;o) ).
I am very confident by the things i know about my own strengths and weaknesses and relaxed by the fact if someone like or dislike me A lot know that i not liked from all here at sg because i say, sometimes, very direct what i think -the WL entries are 3x higher then the BL ones.. so no problem for the most people ;o)-. I am how i am that don't say that i don't work on weaknesses [as examples i am too proud and overreact when i feeled hitten at my honour] but i accepted me in general and the fact that never all people will like you, what you say, what you think, what you do. And thats there right and complete ok. Nothing that hits me in any way (i am not a better or worster human because i have a lot of likes/dislikes^^ -but it is a bit of soul/ego pampering :-D-)

Because a lot of thoughts came up from the writing i don't read it again to correct writing errors or bad translations. Maybe i will do that later.

In the end i hope that my text will help someone in some way.

It happened to me once and I just read some articles on the internet and tried the methods listed in order. All you can do is try your best.

Back when I tried suicide I did not have a desire to talk to anybody about it. Didn't even cross my mind

To be fair, you cannot really prepare for that...
All I can say is, just try to be as honest as possible.

There is that point where it naturally and randomly hits you when you don't even know how all of a sudden felt that way, but there is a reason why and trying to find that answer won't be resolved in a short matter but a long matter of time.

How many times do i recall that I was on the brink of giving up myself then simply letting go, distance myself, neglecting myself then sit in one place and do nothing, for the fact that i've never been lucky enough to reach that high enough to that level of happiness i needed. With being diagnosed with cancer, followed on by being looked down by friends who thought i was totally different and, an abusive and evil father who just thought he only had one son instead of two and he catered more towards my younger brother. He couldn't stand me because i was more like my Mum and he was abusive towards my Mum. Bless her for being a fighter and i had the courage to help her leave him otherwise she would have been dead. Nobody wants to imagine.

Then fast forward, i was beginning to doubt if it was worth living for, every day it pounced in my head that i wish amongst millions of other people that i never existed. I never had a purpose or was lucky enough for anything, then i started to neglect myself, on the computer day in and out, never went out, stayed at home 24/7 except for work which i was getting so sick of, rinse and repeat garbage, nothing productive nor exciting, but there was something i looked back to even i did not think much of it and that was being appreciated.

Eventually in 2017 in February, i suffered from a stroke, my right side shut down when i was just about to walk past my bedroom door. I made it back to my bed in time then i almost met my demise.

"Why am i alive?" A question i ask myself everyday to this day.
"Why didn't i just die, and leave this world?". Beats me.
"What purpose do i have?" There is no purpose.
What purpose then? Only each and every person determines their own fate.

It is my fault due to the neglect which had a partial impact on my physical side but it was meant to happen, could have been avoided but still happened.

The whole point that i make is, whatever happens during the duration of our life, there is a fragment after fragment where we have to close the book on. It is still an important part but regardless, we need the closure otherwise it will grow and taint us and also to note, that is the reason we open up, talk about it and write it off then burn it. So unless it does not occur that your friend or friends need that level of support, they live their life but one day they could be gone.

Just like i've been told, you will always be surrounded by people but the closest is your family whether you dislike them or not, so as a friend, help them solve the puzzles and riddles to the cause of the pain and burn it away.

In a strange way it makes sense that this person would choose a stranger to talk about her feelings and "plans". I suppose it's a lot harder to talk to people you know and/or are close to you. I've experienced it myself. I can talk about stuff online that I wouldn't feel comfortable about talking in rl, especially not with familiar persons.
But I digress. So if someone I barely know would tell me something along these lines, the rational part of me would say that there's a high possibility of it being nothing but a bad joke, some need for attention or just an attempt to make fun of the other and fool them. The problem is: You can't really tell until afterwards.
Anyway, there's also the probability that the person is really desperate and in dire need of help. That's what the emotional part of me says and it usually wins. For all it costs me are a few minutes or hours of my time. It's not like I have anything better to do. But if this time can make a difference, so be it.
Now what to tell to make a difference? That highly depends on the situation, but my suggestion is simple. Help them focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. On second thought... maybe a poor choice of words in this context. What I mean is: Usually there's some straw even the most desparate people can clutch at. Something in their life that gives them hope, someone who is dear to them or who would be very sad if they left this world prematurely. I dare say that there's something or someone like that in everyone's life, no matter the conditions. But sometimes we are so blinded by fear, desparation and pain that we see nothing else.

So help them see said light at the end of the tunnel, so that they won't have to go meet the "other" one.

Take some advice from someone who was suicidal. If someone really wants to commit suicide there is not a whole lot you can do to help them. If they really want to do it they will do it, and nothing short of forceful intervention (as in being taken to a mental hospital and properly medicated to alleviate the symptoms, then given psychotherapy to hopefully treat the cause) will stop them.

Beyond that, even if they ask for help you may not be able to do anything because the simple fact is it's all on them what they do. They have to want to live, otherwise all the advice and help in the world is not going to make any difference and convincing someone that they want to live if they don't just isn't something you can really do.

The best you can realistically hope for is to make them stop and think whether it's really something they want to do. Make sure they know that you value your relationship with them (whatever that relationship may be) and do not want to see them die. Do not tell them their family, other friends, etc. will miss them unless they specifically ask how you think those people would react, and even then only give an answer if you know the other person(s), otherwise just answer honestly and say you don't know whoever it is and can't say for sure how they would react, and reaffirm that you do not want them to die. They did not go to those people, they came to YOU and if one of them is the reason or part of the reason they are feeling suicidal then bringing it up will remind them and may push them over the edge.

If they contacted you by phone or over the internet and you know their address call 911 (or contact the equivalent where they live) and explain the situation. If they showed up in person do not let them leave, and if you can't stop them insist that you go with them, do not take no for an answer. Remind them that they came to you and that you wouldn't be any kind of real friend if you just let them walk away.

Obviously nothing is guaranteed to work, but the important thing is you do what you can if someone comes to you for help.

Your life is not the life for others. So, do not mind.
Even a small trouble for me is a big trouble for others.
Even a big problem for others is a little trouble for me.
However, when you are asked to consult, if you have time, please listen to the story.
The trouble of the speaker is "Conclusion for himself" and keep on talking.
Looking for someone to hear the story.
I think that you can tell what you thought about the content you heard.
However, to say "It is better to listen to more people."
In conversation, troubles may be resolved, but it would be better to introduce "experts".
In dealing with trouble, "think slowly (procrastinate)" and "time" is the best medicine.
「I enjoyed talking with you for a long time today.」
「A good thing comes to your dream while you are sleeping? Let's sleep.」
「"see you tomorrow!"」

Whatever the outcome, "If you did what you can do" it is not your fault.

It is a story that seems to be everywhere.
Friends who concealed illness and playing online games suddenly worsened disease condition, logged out and became inaudible.
A few years later, it is told that his family died after completing his illness.
For each other, it is a story that you can be saved if you finish doing what you normally do as always (fun time).
If it was not a good time, do not repeat.
that's all.