how to earn love of all germans with 1-2 sentences?

Ich bin ein Berliner.

For a minute I couldn't understand this thread as everyone is just saying stuff in English. Then I realized I have auto translate on.

Warum liegt hier überhaupt Stroh rum? Und warum hast du ne Maske auf? Dann blas mir doch ein.

Sieg heil mein führer.

1) Manuel Neuer / Super-Neuer

2) Gublgublgubl?

Wo ist der Eisdiele?

It's the only thing I remember from High School German... that and being extremely high while singing German Bierhalle songs.

"#nohomo of course"

How old are you? Who even says this stupid shit anymore?

1-2 sentences? you only need one word: Freibier

What is "virgin" translated into German?

Gewdantighte

Heard that one a lot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuDtACzKGRs Just emulate this guy and you're golden.

Videogames are always the best way to deal with language barrier.

ICH LIEBE SCHEISSE
DU IST EIN SCHEISSE

Bück dich befehl ich dir.
Wende dein Antlitz ab von mir.
(Rammstein)