Are you going to be romantic on Valentine's Day?
Bump for a Happy Valentine's Day and thank you for your giveaways Usako! :O
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I give away The Bureau: XCOM Declassified as a valentine's day gift :)
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My wife and I exchange cards but that's it. It's the worst time of year to buy flowers or go for dinner as things are so over-priced and restaurants try to rush you out the door as quickly as possible so they can make more money. This evening we'll be cleaning our guinea pigs' cages and watching tv while eating spaghetti bolognese. Sounds boring but it's heaven to me.
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I actually hate receiving flowers, they look nice but die. All I need is chocolate and a token of affection, usually something nerdy preferred or sexy I guess. But Valentine's Day is a weekday so won't be doing much aside from donating my time to a homeless shelter.
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That's a really worthy thing to do. Fair play to you.
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I'll give you a bump. I am planning on spending v-day with the porn doppelganger of my exgirlfriend who sent me a text today (my ex, not the pornstar). It was odd she decided today was a good day to ask me about something she doesn't need until Friday. I was going to just spend it with some porn anyway...the sick stuff...you know the stuff if the person your with wanted to do you would end it with them and change your phone number.
Then I'm going to build this LEGO:
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Contacting an ex on Valentine's Day sounds fishy to me.
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With me it's only kinda fishy. I talk to her on a regular basis. I talk to all my exes and even oneoffs on the regular...until the guy they are with finds out we used to be involved and gets all freaked out and forbids us from interacting.
Usually I avoid exes on VD, if it was a normal Tuesday I wouldn't think anything odd about the text. But it saved me some time deciding what porn I want...gives me more time for work and LEGO...so it works for me.
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Oh, I avoided all of my exes like the plague. If the relationship is over then no use for them. And the idea of fapping to look alike porn of an ex sounds so weird. lol
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Most of my exes are my friends first so I figure if the ahem make each other feel good winkwink* stuff doesn't work out we are still buddies. Plus it makes booty calls much easier, just text down the line alphabetically.
You wouldn't fap to someone that looks like your ex? I was attracted to her in the first place, so really there's not much difference between her and the porn chick.
And yes it's weird.
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Most of my exes stabbed me in the back so I probably wouldn't, though despite hating them some are still attractive unfortunately. But I don't use or need porn to do the deed so it's never actually come up. And I'd probably rather lady porn anyway so I wouldn't see anyone that looked like an ex. lol
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Meh, I've been back stabbed and done the stabbing...I don't let any of that get to me anymore. For example: this girl told me she was banging some other dude on my birthday. I banged her roommate...on her bed...at a time I knew she would be arriving home to catch us. There's a lot of mutual back stabbing :D
Sadly I need porn because it helps me focus, if not I start thinking about how much work I have to do, then next thing I know I'm going through stacks of paperwork without pants. (that is a story told for humor, but it is also completely true and has happened...more than once)
Hey! I watch lady porn too! Oh...wait...not for the same reason as you.
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Yeah...I think I'm too old to play games like that. I wouldn't want the headache of worrying about it, I just like to treat people the way I want to be treated. Though not many seem to to do so in turn.
As for wank material I have a process...that probably has no place here. And by lady porn I mean just with girls, as much as I like guys sometimes the ones in porn are creepers.
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Yeah, I'm too old for that too (at least I hope I am), that was when I was 21. I also treat people like I want to be treated, I'm almost always nice. Not expecting people to return in kind, just because it's feels better than being a jerk...usually.
I have a process, the same as all other guys. Think of or find something good, breath heavy for 6 minutes. Feel good for 18 seconds, feel depressed for 45 seconds, feel annoyed while cleaning up for 52 seconds.
And yeah...there's a lot of dudes guys in porn that look like they should be on trial for something.
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Ha! The way you describe a guy fapping is so accurate and funny. Except there are ways to avoid a lot of clean up so I hear. But that's only ten minutes of a day give or take, still a lot of day to waste.
The guys are creepy, the women look artificial, just a lot of things about real life actors that can go wrong. And then when they talk and say cheesy crap to try and sound sexy. lmao
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Avoiding the cleanup ruins the experience. Wait...a day? I'n not 14...I have neither the time nor the stamina to fap daily! Weekly is too much for me sometimes.
I prefer the "amateur" stuff. The Pros seem so rehearsed. Although the women are looking less artificial than they used to. I think that's because more movie and tv stars are looking so fake...makes porn actresses look real.
The talking is the best part! Everything they say is something that popped in a dude's head at some point, when I hear it in porn I know...Don't Say That To A Girl, EVER! :D
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Well I dunno! I know some guys manage once a day but it does seem that the older a guy gets the less often it happens. Perhaps with sex too, like women want it more as they get older and men less.
While I don't go hunting for this stuff, I have found the "amateur" stuff seems better. Also like the Asian stuff but censorship is evil and they're not as hardcore as Western stuff.
The talking is just...mega turn off. So horribly fake. Some of the things that are said aren't bad but coming from some greased up porno guy who has been fluffed a million times it just reeks of cheese.
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Now sex...that's something I want more of now that I'm older. It's better when you know what you are doing instead of just moving around until it feels real good.
I'm not a fan of Asian stuff, the censorship is annoying and the girls aren't aggressive enough. And they squeak...a lot.
A greasy guy that reeks of cheese! EEEWWWWWWWWWW!
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Just moving around until it feels good...yeah, still too many guys need to learn that's not how it works; young and old. It's just a waste of time and having a big ole wang won't fix it. I only bring that up because it's a pet peeve for a guy to think rocking a horse weiner equals being a sex god.
I like that the girls aren't aggressive and the squeaky parts. lol Different strokes for different folks..like literally given the nature of this very weird conversation.
And they do look greasy, like all glistening and crap, turn on an AC if you're getting that hot during the act.
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It's clear there is something wrong with you, just moving it around is exactly how it works. Trust me, I'm a guy...I know much more about your pleasure than you do. :P
The squeaks are distracting, I keep worrying about a mouse in my house and since I can't understand what they are saying there isn't any cheese for the mouse. I want an aggressive girl who can keep up with me, if she can throw me around a bit that'd be even better :D
I figure the worst job on a porn set is the lighting guy. There's all that shinyness and reflections and some poor dude is constantly moving lights and adjusting. I bet he's more tired than the girls at the end of the day.
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Clearly I've been wrong all these years, I should learn to listen to men more but it's so hard to hear such sage advice while in the kitchen making sandwiches all day long.
And when the woman is aggressive in porn it just comes off as fake, but I mentioned that before and that's probably less of an issue in the "amateur" stuff. I imagine just small clips of the good stuff are easier to deal with then long drawn out movies where the guy shows up with the pizza or whatever. Though the parody stuff is highly amusing.
All the jobs in a porn just sound crappy. Got someone to fluff guys all day, someone has to write bad dialogue, people have to hold cameras and lights and watch "actors" grind around all day. And then people have to clean up whatever mess is left behind...such goals.
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Speaking of which...I could use a sandwich right now...
I guess I'm just used to aggressive women, I'm not into a timid girl. I want a woman who will can keep up with me. And a long drawn out movie? You mean 12 minutes? I'm a dude, small clips is all I need. Although I do love me a good parody, and a bad parody too, but that I watch for the funny not the sexy.
Actually I'll say it's a toss up to worst job, camera or lighting. If the camera man misses an ahem shot...a reshoot doesn't just happen. Same with the lighting guy, if the shinyness of the dudes are distracting you can't just say "back to 1" and start over. Fun fact: Barry Sonnenfeld (directed Men in Black, Get shorty, Series of Unfortunate Events) was a porn director for a bit and says the worst part of porn is the smells (he directed 9 movies in 9 days). Being a porn writer would be easy, the middle and ending is already figured out. Just come up with the set up: she answers the door for the pizza guy and the same thing that happens in every other porn happens, she meets the car mechanic and..., she goes to the PTA meeting and..., she goes to buy new bath towels and... The dialogue would be easy too: Oh yeah, baby, grunt, moan, grunt, louder gunt, louder moan. I say clean up would be easy too, just need a hose and some febreeze.
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I made a few gibs so you should enter and make gibs too so the love can be spread. Check my profile for more public gibs for you lovers of love.
EDIT: Oh, I also hit 2000 games on Steam so I guess this a cross celebration thingie...I dunno. I wanted to make giveaways for that anyway so the timing works. XD
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!
http://steamcommunity.com/id/Usako/recommended/
http://www.lunarproduction.com
https://twitter.com/LunarProduction
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