anyone wanna be my friend?

Oh, that's a thing? I knew there were unlocks related to achievements but I didn't think they'd be that primitive, like you'd at least need to be online and connected to the server at the time for the server to recognise the achievement has been unlocked and award you with the item or something. News to me.

Seeing that many achievements unlocked is always an immediate red flag, especially for your hours played. That would realistically take thousands of hours to accomplish unless the only reason you played the game was to hunt achievements, but that's also clearly not the case here because TF2 saves in-game statistics on your profile for everyone to see, and your real played time actively in-game is actually only 166 hours, with only 5 hours on medic, a physically impossible amount of time to earn all his achievements even as a hunter.

Then in statistics, it shows things which simply don't match up with the achievements, like your most captures, assists, defences and so on. You can see it all here.

Lastly, you literally unlocked all the achievements at the exactly same time. January 25th at 4:22am, as shown here. While this can actually occur in some games that people play offline or while disconnected because the servers have no way of confirming the time of each achievement upon reconnection, obviously this is not possible to occur in TF2 because it's an online game and you'd simply be disconnected from the servers and unable to obtain any achievements while offline.

INVESTIGATION CLOSED