If games ran backwards

Portal backwards...

I dont even know how to explain that

After staring Mike Tyson down, Little Mac loses his nerve, and goes on an unprecedented 13 match losing streak by quitting. He is relegated from the World circuit to the Minor circuit. After Glass Joe laughs at him, he runs backwards through the park back home.

Crackdown is about a guy who leaps around the city dropping glowing green orbs in the highest, most inaccessible places, pausing now and again to telekinetically pull a car out of the ocean and set it safely back down on the road.

Lula VB - girl explodes and you try to extract whipped cream from the explosion
Mario/Zelda series - you give Princess Peach/Princess Zelda to Bowser/Ganon and run as far away as possible
Duke Nukem series - you resurrect alien pigs, give them guns and apoint them for bodyguards to Earth's women so other men can't touch them
all World saving shooters - you're bored so you piss off some peacefull alien lord and wreck havoc through its army, so they start attacking your planet and you can have a good night sleep

Super Mario 64: Mario runs away from Bowser as he invades the castle, hides 120 stars in rediculous places, and runs away in time for Peach to kick Bowser out and send Mario a letter telling him he missed her birthday party.

If you play Oblivion backwards it's about opening tons of gates to hell, creatures going inside, the gates closing and the crisis ending... Wait, it's the same as normal... o.O

The Dig is about three astronauts kidnapped by aliens who kill two of them. Remaining astronaut retaliates by trapping the aliens inside some machine and the dead astronauts are resurrected. One of the astronauts however becomes addicted to creating green rocks, until finally he dies. He comes back to life without his addiction, then they go explore an asteroid and return to Earth.

If you play Lone Survivor backwards, it's about a guy with a guy infiltrating a ravaged city while reviving creepy creatures, locking doors behind him then locking himself in a room while hallucinating.

In Simcity, you play an urban developer tasked with making metropolises disappear.

Saints Row 2 is about a remorseful crime lord who divides his holdings between three gangs, sells off all his belongings, encourages his followers to seek employment elsewhere, and, finally, breaks into a prison, where he disguises himself as a generic person and slips into a coma.

If you play Kerbal Space Program backwards, Kerbals keep appearing into existence in massive explosions that assemble into ships that land safely on a designated launchpad every time.

If you play Dungeons of Dredmor backwards, it is about a guy/girl that revives a demon and his hirelings all over a dungeon, while pucking food and drinks, and leaving lots of loot everywhere. Just like a Necromancer Santa Claus.

If you play TF2 backwards, it is about people coming back from the dead all over the map, and then returning to closed rooms.

If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who has vacuum cleaner eyes and a lot of mutations on him, but sucking in particles and creating more deformed things will separate the mutations from him, so in the end he will become normal and alone in a room with instructions.

Katamary Damacy backwards is a tube-headed alien's quest from Ikea to set up a new home on a planet.

Super Meat boy backwards is about radioactive hazards (fire, buzsaws, and other stuff) that clone millions of walking pieces of meat out of thin air. The evil mastermind then gives them a mate to reproduce.

If you play Amnesia backwards, it's still fucking scary.

Limbo is about a moonwalking shadow boy escaping his sister, setting up traps on the way.

Worms backwards is about slugs terraforming.

Faerie Solitaire backwards is slowly euthanizing magical creatures by putting down decks of cards in strange formations, and making them age back into their eggs.

Postal 2 backwards is what Frankenstein would have been if he wanted to create a small community of "assembled" people.

The goal of Assassin's Creed games in general is to hide a bunch of feathers, flags and treasures around cities.

Mirror's Edge backwards looks like it's about a girl with a superhero mother who you never see, and who drags her back home from the craziest party ever through some rooftops.

Max payne backwards is just fucked up man. It's just fucked up. Imagine a guy lay down on the floor conveniently, then shoot himself up in one direction, arriving on foot. Also collecting some bullets into his guns. It's just fucked up...

Deus Ex: Human Revolution backwards is a cyberpunk Pinocchio.

Hitman backwards is about a bisexual lover trying to get out of sight from its actual lovers' relatives and friends, and from the public.

If you play Fortix backwards, it's about escaping from the country in a strategic retreat while your evil twin brother Xitrof captures and corrupts the land wherever you flee.

If you play Plants vs Zombies backwards, it's about helpful undead replanting your garden and returning only when they all die because your lazy arse didn't get out of the house to water them. Also, the local hobo keeps stealing your things.

Saints Row 3 backwards anyone?

• If you play pinball backwards, you simply loose the power-ups and score negatively...
• Company of Heroes the Allies suddenly realise that pi**ing off Hitler was a bad idea and back out quickly whilst rebuilding everything and resurrecting troops and repairing tanks.
• Beat Hazard is just Beat Hazard to a reversed song where you again loose power-ups, score negatively and kill the bosses before anything else.
• Any track based racing game is just you showing you have epic reverse speed driving skills.

If you play Okami backwards, you are rubbering away circles that make trees bloom to inflict cursed zones to land.

I was about to write about The Sims backwards, but then I realized that it would be very depressing.

If you play Binding of Isaac backwards... oh god no

If you play QWOP backwards, you actually get better.

Painkiller is about some guy in purgatory running away from his wife, reviving evil demon generals and then creating armies of smaller demons and undead for them. Then he gets tasked by God to kill said generals only to get revived right after that, go back to the world of the living and find his wife there waiting for him.

Hard Reset is about some guy building evil killer robots from random scrap only for them to revive people in the end.

Red Faction: Guerrilla is about a workaholic construction expert who builds a lot of stuff(sometimes entire towns at a time) on Mars and revives some kind of space cops to control it on the way. In the end he leaves for Earth.

Serious Sam 3: BFE is about Sam reviving thousands of monsters and undead for Mental from huge piles of blood, gore and ash.

Black & White is about a God who decides to create another god by building him a temple. Then said other god decides to make a lot of other gods and revive a lot of people while helping the original god and his followers in any way he can. In the end the original God having done his job disappears into nothingness.

(Hope I kept that spoiler-free.)

If you play Atom Zombie Smasher backwards, you help a lot of Zombies leave the city so you can bring in the former inhabitants by helicopter.

If you play Freedom Force backwards... let's face it, it's pretty much like a regular comic in the Ultimates universe.

Slydris is about unarranging lines of blocks that get sucked back up through the vacuum cleaner. Tetris is about unarraging tetronimoes that get sucked back up through the vacuum cleaner.

Every Mega Man game is about Mega Man releasing Dr. Wily and reviving eight of his robot masters to wreak havoc across the world.

Metroid Prime is about Samus hiding a returning a bunch of artifacts and powerups. Actually, scratch out "artifacts" and you have every Metroid game ever, except maybe Other M and Fusion. Fusion has Samus putting an X parasite invasion back in the bottle and recorking it (metaphorically).

Castlevania has every Belmont (and many non-Belmonts) raising the undead.