3000th giveaway entered! Here's a giveaway to celebrate :D (SGtools) + random "contest" inside!

bump

congrats

Congrats

What is blue, but smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

Thanks!

Thank you dutchman!

Bump!

thank you, it works well 👍🏻

Saw a bloke with a steering wheel on the front of his jeans. It looked pretty uncomfortable, so I had to ask him about it.
"Yeah, mate." he said, "It's drivin' me nuts!".

Congratulations on your milestone and thanks for the giveaway (a wishlisted one :)

Bump

Nice Bump No joke in mind

This nurse goes into the bank, and she wants to endorse a check. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out... a rectal thermometer? She doesn't notice at first, assuming it was a pen she had stowed there. So, naturally she then tries to write with it. Her brow furrows, then lift in surprise for the briefest moment before narrowing her eyes to glare at her "pen". She sighs and looks up to the teller, sighs softly, and says, "Well that's great... Just great. Some asshole has my pen!"

black humor

A man stands at the edge of the street and observed a somewhat strange mourning march.
On the front line is a corpse car, followed by a robust man with a malicious looking dog on the leash.
Right behind it is another corpse car car. And last but not least, about 200 men are running in good order, one behind the other.
The man at the edge of the street looks at it for a while and then decides to ask.

He asks the man with the dog on the leash:
"What happened then?"
"My dog has attacked and lacerated my wife in the kitchen."
"Yes, but there's another corpse car behind them?"
"My mother-in-law came to the kitchen and wanted to help my wife, and the dog has also lacerated my mother-in-law."

"Mmmhh ... Listen, this is certainly a bit inappropriate at the moment - but could I borrow the dog?"
"Yeah, of course, but queue up at the end, please."

I hope it is understandable!

Tell a joke? I dunno man, I'm not good with those. I hope this works better.

View attached image.

View attached image.

Well, hopefully practical joke counts too:

View attached image.

Here's my favorite joke: is short, but so good.

Why did a cowboy want a dachshund?

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Because he wanted to get a long little doggy c;

A programmer's wife is asking him to pick up groceries. She tells him, "Get milk, and if they have eggs, get a dozen."

He returns home with 12 jugs of milk and says "They had eggs."

There was once a clever fox. Everyday, he was sneaking up to a farm, and eating one chicken. One day, farmer caught the fox, and asked him:
"Are you eating my chickens?"
As he was clever, fox replied: "No."
But it was him!

Bump

Took some work to get back over 0.75 but I got there!
Good work - I'm gonna have to start using a SGTools gate for my giveaways so I don't need to keep pestering the mods for rerolls.

Bump!

Thank you, and congrats.

Will be picking a winner for my steam cards in 6 hours (when giveaway is done) so last chance guys :D
Either way thanks everyone for the laughs and I hope you all have a wonderful day <3

Edit: Thank you everyone for the good times! More giveaways will come as soon as I'm able to make some!