nice game

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent

Thanks for the chance

Why can’t you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

I took my son to the library. He asked if he could get a bookmark. I burst into tears, he's 10 years old and he still doesn't understand that my name is Jim.

Why was the list hard to see at night? Because it was a blacklist

Why did the chicken cross the road? - Be-CAAAWs :D

A couple were walking home from the pub one night when they spotted an old drunken man trying to cross the street in busy traffic. The man thinks to himself "he's gonna get himself killed." So he shouts over, "hey there, there's a zebra crossing just around the corner." And the drunk shouts back "Is there? Well I hope the fecker is having better luck than I am."

Why did so few drink during the NA Gold Rush? Too many bars refused to serve miners.

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated

hola milk, soy padre

What do you call a person, who doesn't own a phone?

You don't...

My wife really hates it when my 20-year-old neighbour sunbathes topless.
Me? I'm on the fence.