thanks...err i don't know any good jokes :/

What's the last thing you want to hear while a doctor's operating on your heart?

Anything!

Bear goes through the woods, got in the car and burned ...
Russian humor.

Thank you

Doc gets a call from friend, saying they need a 4th for poker. As he's leaving, his wife asks him if it's serious. He turns to her and says gravely, "Oh yes, quite serious. They've had to call in 3 other doctors as well."

Thanks! :)

Girl: Do you believe in puppy love?
Boy: I tried it once, but their assholes are too small.

If you die on an elevator, be sure to press the UP button.

On a romantic day Joe's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.

Joe: Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

BOY: I love you and I could die for you!

GIRL: How soon?

A girl brings her boyfriend over to her parents house for dinner for the first time. Boyfriend just got a new motorcycle, and they drove there on it. He heard it was going to rain, and a friend told him to rub vaseline on his motorcycle in case of rain, so he brings a small bottle of vaseline in his pocket.

When they arrive, the boyfriend meets her parents, and then they go into the kitchen. He sees that the sink and everywhere around is crowded with dirty dishes that haven't been washed in who knows how long. He asks his girlfriend, "Why are there so many dirty dishes around?". She answers, "In our family, the first person to talk at the dinner table has to do the dishes, so nobody wants to talk."

Sure enough, as they are eating dinner, the family is completely silent. At first the boyfriend just thinks its kind of funny, but after a while it starts to get on his nerves, so he decides to try to get them to say something so that somebody would finally clean the dishes. He grabs his girlfriend and starts making out with her right at the dinner table, her parents look and are shocked, but they don't say anything.

So the boyfriend then bends her over the table, and starts having sex with her right there in front of her parents. They still don't say anything. He's thinking "wow, this is crazy! What else could I do?". So he grabs his girlfriends mom, and bends her over and starts having sex with her. Still, nobody says a word.

All of a sudden, he hears thunder from outside and thinks "Oh shit it's going to rain, I should go put that vaseline on my bike". So he stops having sex with his girls mom, and pulls out the bottle of vaseline. Right then his girls dad jumps up and says, "Okay, okay! I'll do the fucking dishes!"

I don't know any good jokes, so I'll just say "Thanks!"

THANKS!

• How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
• With a pair of Caesars.

thank you

How do we know that the Earth won't come to an end?
Because it's round!

What's brown and sticky? Chocolate cake ;)
Thx

Spank you!

thanks

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

Bill Gates, a priest, and a boy scout are in a plane as it begins crashing. The pilot tells them they can fight over who gets the other two parachutes, grabs one, and leaps. Gates snatches another from the boy scout and screams "I'm the most important man here, get outta my way!" before leaping. The priest tells the child to go on, he's a man of god, and has faith he'll be alright, when the boy scout offers him a second backpack. "It's okay, mister," he says, "That guy just grabbed my knapsack."

I've heard a few variations on this one but for some reason the original telling I heard involved Bill Gates. Never got that.

ty

Thanks.

Q: What is the difference between in-laws and out-laws?
A: Out-laws are wanted.