• Knock, Knock!
• Who's there?
• The love of your life!
• Liar, you know chocolate can't speak!

Two flies are sitting on a pile of dog poop. One suggests to the other: “Do you want to hear a really good joke?”

The other fly replies: “But nothing disgusting like last time, I’m trying to eat here!”

thanks

Thank you for this, it's very much appreciated

So this guy is driving down a dark country lane one night and breaks down.

Looking around for any possible help, he sees a monastery down the road, so he walks to the monastery and knocks on the door. "I'm sorry to disturb you at such a late hour", he says, "but my car has broken down. Would it be possible to use your phone, please?"

The monk replies that they don't have phones but 2 miles down the road is the next town and he can go to the garage there in the morning and would he like to stay the night. The man is humbled by this kindness and accepts the monk's offer. Halfway through the night he hears a noise, the most wonderful noise he's ever heard in his life.

The next morning comes and just before he leaves for town, he asks, "Brother, what was that noise I heard last night?" The monk replies, "Sorry, I cannot tell, you are not a monk". The man goes to town and gets his car sorted, wondering to himself what could possibly have made that noise. The question eats away at him until the next year when he returns to the monastery and asks again what the noise is. The monk, again, replied, "Sorry, I cannot tell you. You are not a monk".

The man is desperate to know what causes the wonderful noise so asks, "OK, how do I become a monk?" The monk smiles softly and says, "To become a monk, you must count all the blades of grass in the world. When you have the answer, come back to me."

The man spends the next 5 years traveling all around the world, counting the blades of grass. He goes back to the monastery and says, "I have traveled the world and counted the blades of grass. The answer is that grass will grow where it can on it's own so it would be impossible to count them all as they are in a constant state of growing."
The monk smiles and says, "Congratulations, Brother, you are now a monk." The man, relieved asks, "please, what is making that wonderful sound?" The monk points to a wooden door and says, "I will take you to the source of the noise now."

They walk through the wooden door and the man sees a stone door in the next room. So they go through the stone door, only to find a brass door on the other side of the room. After the brass door, the sound is getting louder and they come across a silver door, then a golden door, then a platinum door, then finally a door made out of diamonds.
The monk says, "Your search is over. Behind this door is the source of the noise". The noise is amazing now and the man can hardly wait to see what is behind the diamond door.

The monk reaches into his pocket and produces a key to unlock the door. He gives the key to the man and allows him the honour of opening the final door. The man turns the key and opens the door, and right before his very eyes is the most beautiful, astounding object that he has ever seen, and the noise is perfect. He saw...

Sorry, I cannot tell you. You are not a monk

Fortune cookie say:
"Man who stand on toilet, high on pot."

Thanks

Thanks for the chance!

gracias
genial tu chiste :·3

Gracias

ty na

Thanks ! And sorry, I'm french, and french jokes don't work in english xD
I can speak french to you and say "Baguette !" if you want xD

Thank you mate!

Thanks :)

Thx for the giveaway! :)

Thx for the chance!

Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

thanks

Thank you mate!

hey there .. i won the key but ... how do i actually get it? haha . Ive posted a bunch of keys to give away here but never actually won one