Yeah but i used to feel it through my whole body (like my aura), my clothes, at my moms place, she has bad eyesight, so i eventually had to clean it up anyway, but i would always go in bath (which i can't do anymore here as i only got a shower).
Maybe you are right, and since i moved i already done things i normally wouldn't have done, but this is a very big switch to turn, if only it were that easy.
I can offcourse also just take the safe route and not get a cat, but i think and hope once i done it enough, i am like okay whatever, lets do this, i am also under treatment of a shrink and i got diazepam/temazepam but those are very short term relievers, i so much want to try clonazepam (against stress and anxiety) but they are very hesistant, and i got a big immunity to things, but i was kinda maybe hoping that would improve my mindset even more that i could handle this all much better, have to wait on thursday for that.

I saw a blooper clip once where a small cat tried to jump off the bed to the ledge of a window, that jump was way bigger then he/she could make offcourse, yeah young kittens really need some extra attention.

Since i got two left hands and no family/friends i have to rely on volunteers to help me, next week they come hang my lamps (i been camping with my mobile light for 2 weeks now), i hope he has the time if i go for a cat that he could help me with the balcony soon but yeah let him just adjust to the apartment itself first, and most of all find the litter box.
Wiith my moms cats, when we had flies inside the house, i was like investigate this, turned out they made droppings under the cabinets alongside the whole wall.

Yeah i love that they are independent, so you don't have to give them constant attention, and most of all even if it's raining, freezing, you don't have to walk them out (and walk with a bag behind them) and stores like amazon has food much cheaper then a supermarket and you have it delivered to your door and not have to bike 2km with heavy packages.

Thank you!