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Being Casual #2

So, I've come to realise that the impossible has happened.

I have actually become too attached to this community to let go.

Now, hold up. This is NOT like the generic threads you see, where people talk about how they are addicted / broke / tired of the site. I'm simply letting everyone know how I feel about my current situation. No advice required, just venting my feelings out in public for everyone to see.

I had the distinct feeling that I was different from most since I was born. I won't go into detail as to why it was so, but my actions over the last 22 years has proven it enough. I ALWAYS go against the flow of things, am either too fast or too slow during tasks, and always did everything with a detached outlook, refusing to care about anything I did more than at face value. Heck, I doubt I feel the same emotion for more than a few minutes either.

My foray into the online world began only 3 years ago, out of which I spent 2 years fumbling around with what I should be doing. I had no idea what was good, what wasn't, and so on. So I went with the flow, something that was unnatural to me. I traded, I joined groups, I made a group, I played the games everyone played, and yet, I felt empty. Then charity came along, and I finally felt like I had something that others didn't. An unsatiable desire to give, and keep giving. Or so I thought, before this site was introduced to me.

I arrived first as a mere observer, seeking to scope out the rest of you who gave away freely, like I did. And I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I had been living a lie, that what I did wasn't even close to charity. So, I left all of my work behind a few months later, and sought to learn this site's ways. As month after month passed, I noticed how I was giving away far more than I used to, and thought to myself, "Am I seriously going to get to Lvl 10 within a year?" Never believed it would happen, but it did. 10 months in, I had conquered SG's milestone. So I thought to myself, "I'm done now. There is nothing left. And this is how it should be. Let's move on from this site, and on to something else next." As I reclined back over the next few months, going on a break again (I think I've taken a break every damn month at this point), I noticed that I was visiting this site often over the course of the day. TOO often. You all know what I am talking about, don't you? Its not the addiction that hurts. Trying to kick it does. And as time passed, I became increasingly aware of the fact that I was wasting hours, sometimes entire days, just staring at my browser, and reading SG posts. So much so that the limited free time I have is being wasted for nothing. That's never good.

How do I overcome this? What should I focus on to do so? These questions were bogging me down the entire week, and as things came to a head, it finally clicked. I wasn't looking in the right direction.

At no point did I ever consider this, but the answer was obvious now.

I wanted to be different. I wanted to be the odd man out.

I wanted to be that one guy who made a difference in this world, who contributed to make it a better place, and wasn't a mindless drone without consequence to the future.

Its who I am. Its what I struggled to become. And its who I shall always be.

This primal drive has been the sole reason why I have been still lurking here for so long. I wish to make an identity for myself. So I have decided. I will be that one guy who makes threads almost everyday. Who uses what he has learnt to set himself apart from the rest. No quirks, no memes, just by being himself. And this, is how I will do it.

There. I vented it all out. Now I will shortly forget that I wrote all of this. That I felt all of this. But perhaps.... That's for the best.

TL:DR? I'm gonna be staying for a lot longer.

Now then, for the question of the day. Almost forgot about the whole reason I was making the thread. Talk about shit attention span...

We all know how greed is rampant in mankind. There is always something we want. Its how we function. And while it is nice to aggressively pursue our dreams, it could also lead to... complications.

Now, let's say there was a means to actually confront this greed. What if you were given a chance to get all that you wanted? Would you care about morals then? Would you take that chance without a second thought? Or would you much rather NOT fulfil the dream that your life is so dependent on? I mean, at the end of the day, we are all here to live life to the fullest. The poll question raises a similar dilemma.

Feel free to run rampant in the comments. No holds barred. This will run for 24 hours, after which a new round of Casual talk will begin. Sounds fun, right?

Oh yes. I have quite a few milestones to celebrate. Of course, being the procrastinator I am, I haven't celebrated any. Not to mention the effort it took to cram in those meta jokes, the references, and of course, time to even write this in the first place. So until I am ready, I will not disclose those milestones, else you guys would start stalking me and poking me to celebrate them (Yeah, I know you guys too well.)

Stop worrying, it would probably be up in a few days.

Seriously. In a few days. Don't worry.

Stop looking at these spoiler tags. Seriously.

...You are still here. What are you hoping to find?

Good lord, there is nothing here. Stop looking!

OK FINE. Here. Have some gibs. Now leave me alone.

Are you.... that hell bent on finding something else?

Don't you have anything better to do? Go on... go on....