Another cat question (Bowy will go the vet)

waaaaay Off-Topic

You already had a thread about this, no need to create a new one.

do they tell or is it sometimes hidden and they won't?

Yes, they usually try to show if something is wrong. Our cat was peeing around the flat. And then switched to peeing in a shower daily. Some cats are of course dickheads (GFs cousin has a cat, which doctors did analysis on and it turned out the cat was super healthy, just being a dick by peeing on stuff visitors bring), but this for example is a good sign that the cat should be checked by a doc. Our cat turned out had urinary problems(most likely already untreated by previous owner) and the vet said that for her most likely peeing hurt and at this stage it was probably even painful to walk. And since a cat cant just tell you it is feeling uncomfortable it can try to get your attention in any way it finds gets a response. For example she saw that peeing outside the box got our attention so she kept on doing that.

So its definitely worth a shot checking a cat out if it starts losing apatite, plays less or starts peeing weirdly. That's what I would do.... of course no one can really tell what the result would be. Maybe the cat is simply not feeling good if you are not playing with it that much or distancing from it. But that would also be something only a vet could tell you if that is the case in the end.

Don't know what to comment on everything else... IMO taking care of a cat is not that difficult, but hey, I don't know you or what is going on with your own health. A pet is responsibility and its costly. We knowingly took the cat in and were ready that it is not just a fluffy plaything, but an alive being with emotions and needs. Hell, the food we are giving her costs almost the same if not more at times then our food does, since its special veterinary food. Its quite horrible to give to an animal the whiskas and that sort of food. For a cat eating that daily, it would be like we eating mcdonalds every single day every single meal. Your hearth would stop from how unhealthy it is.

Youtube! I´ve easily watched tens of hours of cat how-to's before (!) i even got adopted by my little sweetheart - and i never stopped watching those until they started repeating themselves. I also trained my mum and GF to be better with their cats in the meantime. Nowadays i only watch a bit of JacksonGalaxy for the lulz every now and then.

Most important lesson of them all:
Negative reinforcement does NOT work! It´ll only make your cat afraid of you.
You no longer have a place for yourself, it´s all THEIRS!
Work up from there. Always clean litterbox, lots of playtime, scheduled meals, catification of your flat, etc.

Cats basically are like children. They only have a few needs (so few really that most of the time i can guess what she wants) but those have to be met religiously! Just treat your cat like you´d want to be treated yourself.

As for ignoring toys, mine does that too - we have a plethora of forgotten toys that once were favourites. Again, just like children ;)

https://www.youtube.com/@JacksonGalaxy
http://foodpuzzlesforcats.com/

Use boxes, create obstacles, old blankets, make a maze for him to play. Let it play inside closets. Let it explore the house
Try different small objects - small toy balls, cords. My cat just loves wine corks split in half due to the sound they make on the hard floor but ignores every single toy I've purchased

Cats adjust like people do. But you're way obsessed over your "nice things". If you wanna make him happy and for this to work you've gotta change your attitude, change yourself a bit. Over time your bond with him will become stronger
Sitting on your lap means he feels safe with you which is very important

My cat's vet says that cats are masters at hiding pain so you have to be alert for some signs such as changes in habits. Is there "Uber pets" in your country? I don't have a car so I use this service and it's only a little more expensive than a regular uber.
If your mom have cats you can always ask for her cats' vet phone number and ask about your kitty. Maybe your cat need some vaccines or antiparasitic before been spayed.

Since I can't really help with your situation globally, I'll stick to lesser questions.
No, we can't always say if cat is healthy, they hide their inner pain very well, so all you can do is make sure that she eats/goes to the toilet well, if she is active, if she don't puke, and if there are no visible signs on skin/fur. If all of that looks fine - it means it's not critical at least. If any of the above is wrong then yes, it's better to consult with a vet, if possible.
Climbing on your laps is a sign of affection, don't doubt that. Well, if it's very cold she may come to you to seek warmth, but it's unlikely in summer. Yes, I understand that affection or not - it's hard to you, but sadly don't know how to help.
Cats can get bored of old toys, if she gladly plays when you plays with her with a ball on the stick - it means she's still playful and active. One of my cats can play by herself, but the other one don't understand this concept at all, he only plays if me (or the other cat) plays with him. Try to play with her more if it's possible and not too hard for you, first of all she will be more happy from that, and second point - she will get tired eventually and leave you alone (but honestly, not for long - cats seem to have much more energy than humans, especially young ones).
I wish you all the best, and hope that whatever decision you'll make will be for the best for both of you.

It's a living creature, there's no "your side of the room" when it comes to a kitten, it's going to explore, play, and do things that Bowy wants to do when Bowy wants to do them. Kittens/cats are going to scratch things and tear things up like a couch, table legs etc. scratching things is their nature. That's why people get a cat scratching post for their cat/kitten. This is defintely something you should invest in. If there's a room like your bedroom you don't want Bowy to go in then you need to shut the door and make sure it doesn't go in the room.

I was reading another thread and you mentioned you didn't know whether it's a male or female, which kinda had me scratching my head. You mother gave you Bowy, she didn't mention if it was a male or female? You also had your friend come over, you didn't ask her to look? There's no point in time where Bowy didn't roll on their back and you saw if it had a pair of nuts?

It you feel like you are in over your head and can't afford to do the necessary things to take care of Bowy, then finding someone who can is the right move in my opinion. I hope things work out for the best.

I have 2 cats, one was a rescue from an abusive home, and one was a rescue from a litter that was abandoned. Both have had their quirks and challenges. Both have unique personalities, neither of which I have control of lol. Cats sleep alot, that's just fact. If they're choosing to sleep with/near you then you've gained their trust. when they change from kittens to cats they outgrow some of the destructive(exploratory) nature.. but they still need some type of scratching post for their own health.. you can make one with a small piece of carpet/wood if you can't afford to buy one probably find the pieces online for free.

if the kitten is lethargic, confirm it doesn't have a severe flea infestation (could have come from the previous owner/or if you let it outside). It could have also eaten something that doesn't sit well with it.

are the red dots the size of a pin's head?

Among all my cats, the last "Semka" stood out especially. He was never particularly affectionate, did not like to lie on me, never demanded attention. At the same time, he liked to be carried in the hands of his owners. Semka fully trusted us in this. There was even a case when he bit me hard after playing, after which I just spread my hands, deciding to throw him off. He didn't even try to land on his paws, falling heavily on his side. He trusted me so much, not expecting this. Semka also always met me and my parents, both at home and on the street and completely ignoring strangers. When he saw us, he could run more than a hundred meters to just walk with us for a while. He even tried to imitate us: sleeping on the couch, always putting his head on the pillow (just his head), meowing while sitting with us or meeting us, trying to imitate the conversation... Despite the seeming some awkwardness, Semka clearly showed affection. It was the first time I saw a cat that had to be pushed to wake up. He felt so safe around us. it is worth mentioning separately that he brought us mice, sharing his prey with us. But he especially stood out by demonstrating his emotions. Disappointment, anger, fear, irritation, surprise, etc. could be clearly read on his face.
Separately, you can recall the change in his character when growing up. In action, he would be very active and playful. But at the age of 2, everything changed, he became more lazy, stopped playing. At the same time, he had no health problems.
As for going to the vet due to the fact that you don't like something in the behavior of the cat, I advise you to contact good specialists and not save money if there is a suspicion of something serious. One day Semka got a hind leg injury and limped badly. The first veterinarian said it was okay, after more than a month we found out from another veterinarian that the leg needed to be set. As a result, we set the leg, Semka was immensely grateful to us for this, but sometimes after sleeping he still limped the first few steps. And if we had done it earlier, it would have been avoided.
I also had cases when he was poisoned by something and was ill for several days. He was walking on the street and more than once was seen eating food that was given to street cats. Although we fed him for slaughter, we gave him not only cat food, but also meat, grass, vitamins. In the end, it ruined him. One day Semka ate something on the street and died within a few days, as did several other cats in the neighborhood.
In any case, Bowy is your cat and you better know what's wrong with her.
I'm sorry for my English, I use an auto-translator.

Bowy is a Calico, so 99.99~% odds of being female. Calico and Tortoiseshell color patterns are only ever present with XX chromosomes, the exception being a chimera where 2 eggs merge, or Klinefelter syndrome where a male has XXY chromosomes instead of XY.

The drops of blood is most likely not from her nails, the only way that will happen is if you trim them too short and cut into the quick, but you already said you haven't done that. Drops of blood on the floor combined with odd behavior says she is likely ill, and Cats will avoid their usual areas when ill. Cats associate a place they were at when they start feeling sick or start feeling pain with that feeling will avoid that area because to them that place is what is hurting them. Cats will also often lose their appetite when sick. She needs to see a vet.

Got to the vet asap!
When in doubt go the vet always!
Blood spots are a sign something IS wrong!

That kitten should be all over the place bouncing with energy, the fact she isn't is a clear sign!

And waiting till she is 6 months is ridiculous!
Every kitten needs to be checked by vet.
They need vaccinations, they need to be wormed, they need be checked for fleas and need a general health check.

All kittens come with fleas and worms they get them from their Mum.
I don't know if the person who had the litter gave them something against worms?
And kittens can actually die from having fleas, they can develop severe anemia!

The 1st thing you do with a kitten or a puppy is get it to the vet to be checked.
Always!

I didn't want to bud in, cause I am in a bad state/place myself.
So I feel for you and the mental health issues you have.

I am not going to add any advise on weather to keep Bowy or not.
I think everything is been said already.

I do know cats and this little one needs a vet!

I am mostly in Ninja mode on Steam, but you can always send me a message with questions, I will respond.

Best of luck!

Edited to add:

Female cats are sexually mature at the age of 5-6 months from that age on they can come into heat.

1) I still think you should look into pine pellets for your cat's litter box because it's more hygienic than dust/sand and it could help with your germphobia.

2) Moving the cat pole to the balcony was a good idea. A balcony (or a window with a view outside) is like a cat's tv, they love to watch what happens outside. They usually also like to be in the sun light, although some cats don't.

3) Regarding the small red dots and Bowy's age, I agree with cheshirecatgirl, first thing you should do before taking a cat in is to go to the vet so they can have a basic check-up. As cheshirecatgirl said, they usually give them some anti parasites. At 5 months old, she should have already been vaccinated multiple time: at 8 weeks the triple vaccine (FVRCP vaccine), at 10 weeks, panleukopenia, at 12 weeks second dose (reinforcement) of the FVRCP vaccine, at 14 weeks second dose (reinforcement) of the panleukopenia vaccine, at 15 weeks rabies vaccination.

Before vaccination you should first check if she already has some disease, like leukemia or feline immunodeficiency because the vaccines could give her a bad reaction.

Now that Bowy is 5 months old she should be near to have her first heat. There's a debate about neutering before or after the first heat in female cats. Doing it before will prevent you to experience the annoying process of her first heat (basically, you -and your neighbors- won't sleep for some weeks). But you can't neuter her while she's having a heat, you have to wait until it stops. Been there, suffered that, so I do know it. Again, it's an open debate but I would recommend you to neuter her before her first heat, you won't suffer the long days of dealing with it and you will also spare Bowy from the strange and uncomfortable process of her firs heat.

But, again, before neutering she should at least have a check-up at the vet (and you'll probably be told to vaccinate her before the surgery).

4) Playing with a cat is a complex task. You can't just wave the toy before her like "hey, look, it's a toy", and you shouldn't use something that won't keep her attention (a ball on a rope is a "meh" toy for a cat). Cats love toys that look and move like their usual preys: fur, feathers, going up, down, up, down, left, right, left right, in a fast motion. Like a live prey would do. I use this one and my cats go crazy about it, especially the younger (3 years), they love the feather ones because when you (vigorously) move them around they look like a real bird: it flies, it rotates while flying, it makes a flapping noise,... That doesn't compare to a ball tied to a rope.

I posted a video on the other thread about it: you must play "hard" with your cat, until she is exhausted (when you see she starts to pant). Let her catch the toy (prey), give her some treats (their instinct after hunting is eating their prey) and repeat the process until her energy is depleted. Cats have a lot of energy but following the boil-simmer procedure you can make them tired to a point where they'll go "ok, I'm done, it's fun but I'm done", and they'll go to have a solid rest/sleep (and you'll be left alone meanwhile).

5) Regarding your 200 euro leather gaming chair and your 180 euro gaming keyboard, I also left a video explaining how to teach your cat not to touch them. Just line the leather parts of the chair with something to protect it then apply something sticky on it (double tape). Bowy will try to climb/scratch it once or twice but it will be so unpleasant she won't keep on trying. The same goes for your desk, put something sticky around your keyboard (or on top of it when you're not using it), Bowy won't like it and will "learn" that those are places that are no fun at all. With time, when she associates that unpleasant feeling in those particular spots, you can remove those "traps", she should still think of those places as unpleasant and will avoid them.

6) Staying in your lap can definitely be a selfish act for a warm spot but it's usually associated with other types of comfort. Cats like to be in contact with who they like, from the moment they're born. If Bowy likes you, she will like to be near you or, even better, touching you. She needs to feel your scent and to leave hers on you. Cats also like to be near to the body/chest because they "enjoy" the sound of your heartbeat, it reminds them of their mother and the first things they felt in the world (cats are born without sight -with their eyes closed-). I've seen cases of crying kittens that were brought to sleep when they were put in a cozy bed with a stuffed animal and a ticking clock.

Let me know if you have any questions or if you need anything.

Lots to talk about cats as pets, and how they're not people, and very different from dogs...

But first, it is mainly concerning you're finding red dots on the floor. Which means your cat likely snagged one if it's claws and got it ripped out.
So taking the cat to the vet should be a super high priority, as you should be getting yearly check-ups and vaccinations for your pet.