That's totally different, it was about if i should keep Bowy or not, and things changed since, now it's what's could be going on with her and also her appetite drastically changed in the last 3 days or so, trying to understand it's behaviour (and yes i already went through 15 websites, but i can't find that aha thing besides allowing it more rooms (which is only my bedroom or let them outside (1st floor)).
Of why a visit would completely make her shy from her whole side of the pole, couch, stopped her from playing and now with the appetite loss, unless she is sick and that visit was just a coincidence.
Aside from just venting what's it doing to myself (which is nice if you suffer from extreme loneliness and even your mother lets you down), i want to know what might be going on with her despite the whole decision and if someone comes to offer a better place, and if it's just boredom/depression or just seriously need to see a vet, which offcourse i have no objection paying, but if there would be no reason why let me waste it when i don't have much.
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do they tell or is it sometimes hidden and they won't?
Yes, they usually try to show if something is wrong. Our cat was peeing around the flat. And then switched to peeing in a shower daily. Some cats are of course dickheads (GFs cousin has a cat, which doctors did analysis on and it turned out the cat was super healthy, just being a dick by peeing on stuff visitors bring), but this for example is a good sign that the cat should be checked by a doc. Our cat turned out had urinary problems(most likely already untreated by previous owner) and the vet said that for her most likely peeing hurt and at this stage it was probably even painful to walk. And since a cat cant just tell you it is feeling uncomfortable it can try to get your attention in any way it finds gets a response. For example she saw that peeing outside the box got our attention so she kept on doing that.
So its definitely worth a shot checking a cat out if it starts losing apatite, plays less or starts peeing weirdly. That's what I would do.... of course no one can really tell what the result would be. Maybe the cat is simply not feeling good if you are not playing with it that much or distancing from it. But that would also be something only a vet could tell you if that is the case in the end.
Don't know what to comment on everything else... IMO taking care of a cat is not that difficult, but hey, I don't know you or what is going on with your own health. A pet is responsibility and its costly. We knowingly took the cat in and were ready that it is not just a fluffy plaything, but an alive being with emotions and needs. Hell, the food we are giving her costs almost the same if not more at times then our food does, since its special veterinary food. Its quite horrible to give to an animal the whiskas and that sort of food. For a cat eating that daily, it would be like we eating mcdonalds every single day every single meal. Your hearth would stop from how unhealthy it is.
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Thank you very much, i only noticed that once maybe, the carton box she was on looked liked a wet stain, but later when i threw it away it already disappeared and haven't noticed anything else (yet) .
It likes to try climb on my desk if i am away (or at night) and crawl through the moving boxes, which aren't stacked easily so that would require some serious effort on her side, i also let it follow me with a ball on a stick she can still chase it furiously, so she seems mobile, yet not for a catpole, tunnel, couch (even to sleep on like she used to) or even a ball by itself?
What's been going on why i don't think i am the best suitable boss for Bowy is explained here if you want to read it.
I never knew that about Whiskas, i thought all those foods were perhaps not the best, but atleast not so unhealthy (then again i read an article yesterday that 80% of our grocery store food is processed and leading to heart attacks or strokes), so we are eating junk ourselves.
But my moms 2 cats are 2 years old and 1 has had it's days of sleeping all day, or not want to play but not a whole week, it always perked up (they been indoor cats for 1 1/2 year but with a whole house pretty much) they have always been on whiskas, they however had the attention it needed from my mom and allowed to sleep with her.
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Youtube! I´ve easily watched tens of hours of cat how-to's before (!) i even got adopted by my little sweetheart - and i never stopped watching those until they started repeating themselves. I also trained my mum and GF to be better with their cats in the meantime. Nowadays i only watch a bit of JacksonGalaxy for the lulz every now and then.
Most important lesson of them all:
Negative reinforcement does NOT work! It´ll only make your cat afraid of you.
You no longer have a place for yourself, it´s all THEIRS!
Work up from there. Always clean litterbox, lots of playtime, scheduled meals, catification of your flat, etc.
Cats basically are like children. They only have a few needs (so few really that most of the time i can guess what she wants) but those have to be met religiously! Just treat your cat like you´d want to be treated yourself.
As for ignoring toys, mine does that too - we have a plethora of forgotten toys that once were favourites. Again, just like children ;)
https://www.youtube.com/@JacksonGalaxy
http://foodpuzzlesforcats.com/
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Even her catpole (with a bed, 2 other beds, and couch to sleep on and rather sleep on some metal steps or carton on the floor?
Also when i place the chase the ball on a stick game, she avoids the beds (1 is very low, lower then steps or a crate she fell off and yet she still climbs those but the beds, she flat out refuses which i also don't understand as she enjoyed them very much in the beginning and one just being so low.
Thanks for the link.
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Use boxes, create obstacles, old blankets, make a maze for him to play. Let it play inside closets. Let it explore the house
Try different small objects - small toy balls, cords. My cat just loves wine corks split in half due to the sound they make on the hard floor but ignores every single toy I've purchased
Cats adjust like people do. But you're way obsessed over your "nice things". If you wanna make him happy and for this to work you've gotta change your attitude, change yourself a bit. Over time your bond with him will become stronger
Sitting on your lap means he feels safe with you which is very important
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Well most people also can just store away their nice things in closets, i wish i could, but if your apartment is cramped, don't got closets (and not many finances to buy them) except the kitchen but they are full. I don't even have curtains yet, because you got noone hanging them (perhaps now i got some volunteers) and had plastic waste bags on my windows.
Our country hasn't used wine corks for ages anymore, it's all metal now.
Sitting on your lap can have about 6-8 reasons, they can also say i don't feel well, take me to the vet or just liking your warmth, it doesn't always mean affection.
https://petkeen.com/why-does-my-cat-sleep-on-me/
https://khpet.com/blogs/cats/why-does-my-cat-lay-on-me
https://excitedcats.com/why-cat-always-sits-on-me/
Yeah but the "attitude" thing (germphobia) is something i failed to change, which i thought would, i read stories about people with depression etc where it so much helped them, it also feels like a complete failure.
Also i sit behind my pc (thus desk) pretty much the whole day the space between a cat doesn't really fit and make you sit uncomfortable and i don't feel it should be your choice of affection the whole day, it should have some quality time together and we both should have time doing our thing.
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Cats love mess, some cardboard boxes it can explore and find small toys or treats. Eventually you can change the "maze" layout and add things. I'm yet to see a cat who doesn't like playing with a hanging shoelace. You gotta experiment and learn what works for him
I'd take him to the vet just to be sure
My cat sits on my lap while I play. At first it was a no-no but I'm so used to it I even miss it when shes away. Maybe lower your chair a bit?
I know it's easy to say this when it's not with me, and I'm not judging you, but germophobia is strictly psychological. Exposure therapy is the best way forward. It will be very hard at first but if you can get through it with desensitization your quality of life will greatly improve
As for the whole depression/loneliness, feel free to add me on steam. Sometimes it helps to vent a bit or ask for advice
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You used to get free cardboard boxes from our grocery store, i don't know why they stopped doing that years ago, so i only used the ones i had left so far from the moving, i got some left but they turn out to be very weak and unstable.
I could lower my chair, but still am i obligated to have it on my lap 8 hours a day or more? What if i had work (or find something and it would totally change for her/him) i mean i did let it today and yesterday, but even sleeping, it loved it's bed on the catpole, it loved it's new lower standing bed on the ground or it just used my couch, but now it rather sleeps on some metal steps or cardboard box on the floor, i know cats can get toy bored, but why choose the ground over the couch, or ignore the catpole, the tunnel, balls the whole thing just because someone visited.
The only action i can get out of it, is it by having her chase a ball on a stick, i made balls of paper/aluminimum then it's 3 minutes of play and it's done.
The whole litterbox i have to shower, and yeah on my "good clothes" the reasoning in my head is also a big no-no, unless i have clothes that will go in the wash anyway, that part i can't switch and thought i would get over eventually.
The same thing as not allowing it in my bedroom (let alone some people even have them sleep with them, do you?) because there are still boards i have to finish my bed with someday (need a help to have my bed lifted) but also just the risk of them hopping on my bed (thus creating laundry).
Because i am afraid of other areas there too like diapers or school (long story) eventually, and that would definitely be something in your face or not go there but if i knew there would be no children in my life, let's say that's definitely not a life i am willing to choose.
Thank you, well offcourse the best thing against loneliness, is having people around you, but if even your own mother, your healthcare provider etc ignore you. I think the best thing for me would be a relationship, but that's a bit hard.
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My cat's vet says that cats are masters at hiding pain so you have to be alert for some signs such as changes in habits. Is there "Uber pets" in your country? I don't have a car so I use this service and it's only a little more expensive than a regular uber.
If your mom have cats you can always ask for her cats' vet phone number and ask about your kitty. Maybe your cat need some vaccines or antiparasitic before been spayed.
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Thank you, so they can.
I haven't looked into uber pets, i never heard of it before.
Well obviously it seems her habits have been changed drastically
Bowy was the first day with my mother, she got the cat, everything, she handled, it was the plan first to take her to a vet (2 minutes but she is scootmobile dependant, but also the decision was made to avoid 1 stressful trip to the vet and instead do it when it needed to be neutered, i think it was better if she got some shots and was checked.
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Since I can't really help with your situation globally, I'll stick to lesser questions.
No, we can't always say if cat is healthy, they hide their inner pain very well, so all you can do is make sure that she eats/goes to the toilet well, if she is active, if she don't puke, and if there are no visible signs on skin/fur. If all of that looks fine - it means it's not critical at least. If any of the above is wrong then yes, it's better to consult with a vet, if possible.
Climbing on your laps is a sign of affection, don't doubt that. Well, if it's very cold she may come to you to seek warmth, but it's unlikely in summer. Yes, I understand that affection or not - it's hard to you, but sadly don't know how to help.
Cats can get bored of old toys, if she gladly plays when you plays with her with a ball on the stick - it means she's still playful and active. One of my cats can play by herself, but the other one don't understand this concept at all, he only plays if me (or the other cat) plays with him. Try to play with her more if it's possible and not too hard for you, first of all she will be more happy from that, and second point - she will get tired eventually and leave you alone (but honestly, not for long - cats seem to have much more energy than humans, especially young ones).
I wish you all the best, and hope that whatever decision you'll make will be for the best for both of you.
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She barely eats but goes to the toilet fine (same with me, ever since i moved i am like mweh why the fuss of cooking when i a sandwhich is easier, and lost a bunch of weight).
The active part is double, she lost completely interest in "her" side while the whole room might be for her, but my lap, chair, and the moving boxes became a constant total day obsession, i understand fully the need for attention, but i can't be the one giving that the whole day, and since 3 days eat little, i think there could be a real market for more focus on interactive multiplayer games for humans and cats.
Right now it's really not that much summer anymore, 20c, cloudy and a bit of rain? I also don't know really know how this whole heatpump thing works apparently changing temperature also cost a day, but i mean when it was 30c outside i had a sweater on and slept with sheets.
Yes, but the ball on the stick thing is fun for 5 minutes, also because parts she refuses to climb her beds, and the apartment being small, there aren't many things to climb on, and i use the stick on the floor too and make her jump, it's not for long.
I made balls, she found and took a fur dice by herself, that was fun for like 4 minutes, i know cats can lose interest in their toys, but not a whole corner and everything (see the picture in OP) why sleep on some carton on the ground when she had 3 beds and a couch she liked.
Thank you.
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why sleep on some carton on the ground when she had 3 beds and a couch she liked.
All cats love carton. Nobody knows why, but they really do. And yes, it may look more appealing to them than most comfortable bad. So I would not worry at least about that part.
And about the part that she don't play for long... What after that? Do she lose interest for a long time, or do she rest for five minutes and want to play again? If that's the latter - that's normal, cats can get tired from activities pretty fast, but they don't need much rest too. It may become pretty annoying when your cat want's to play every five or ten minutes.
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It's a living creature, there's no "your side of the room" when it comes to a kitten, it's going to explore, play, and do things that Bowy wants to do when Bowy wants to do them. Kittens/cats are going to scratch things and tear things up like a couch, table legs etc. scratching things is their nature. That's why people get a cat scratching post for their cat/kitten. This is defintely something you should invest in. If there's a room like your bedroom you don't want Bowy to go in then you need to shut the door and make sure it doesn't go in the room.
I was reading another thread and you mentioned you didn't know whether it's a male or female, which kinda had me scratching my head. You mother gave you Bowy, she didn't mention if it was a male or female? You also had your friend come over, you didn't ask her to look? There's no point in time where Bowy didn't roll on their back and you saw if it had a pair of nuts?
It you feel like you are in over your head and can't afford to do the necessary things to take care of Bowy, then finding someone who can is the right move in my opinion. I hope things work out for the best.
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I added a picture in OP of "her" corner. In the beginning i had stuffed animals on my desk, always been, don't know else where to put them, and they basically been my maintenance free pets, the things you do when lonely, but if it helps.
Then i had this towel before me, where i could guide it a bit on not to jump on my 180 euro keyboard (i learned with leds you shouldn't ever wipe, i think that's what caused faulty leds on my previous ones) and the cat respected it and offcourse it sniffed.
I am shutting my bedroom door, but that basically leaves the washing room, bathroom (but the ventilation system been broken taking 3 weeks already to get repaired so sometimes water won't go away), while many people allow them in their bedroom, even in their bed and that's where i questioned is offering just a living room enough for a cat? Basically it's a bigger cage, i feel it should have more rooms or things (but if it became lethargic or whatever), be in your bedroom/bed, have a companion in form of another cat or be outside, or not?
No, my mom does not know either, and first she would go to a vet (she can be their with her scootmobile in 2 minutes) but then decided to wait till it needs to be neutered after 6 months, that woman wanted to look, tried to lure it out, but it didn't wanted to, and ever since that it has shows different behaviour, and i haven't seen anything "hanging" but i got no clue on how such a thing develops.
Things started to get over my head ever since i moved, lonelineless can be so overwhelming, but i had my mom and she had the same thing with the loneliness (empty nest) she said oh i got this for you, or for Bowy, doing groceries, or have to fix something, i had days where i had to bike 5 times (back and forth is 4,5km) in 1 month i think i walked/biked over 200km while i was used to nothing. My mom also called sometimes, now she completely ignores me, then your shrinks case manager ignoring you thus not getting your old medicine back, but most of all Bowy's changed behaviour, its heartbreaking, but yeah making things go over my head even more.
It was that woman saying i might not need catproofing balcony because i might not keep bowy, i was like oh? She said it was taking a toll and then yeah in my head it also went more like Bowy deserves so much better.
I know well with my moms cats they have their off days regarding eating or playing but not a week, or completely avoid what i still call her spot shown in the picture in OP, and almost form an obsession with my leather chair (it's more shredded in the last week then her first 5), my lap or just continously tried to go through the moving boxes.
But especially as to why because of 1 visit from someone, noone could give an explanation for that, nor i found an answer in the 15 websites i read, except that it might want to go outside or could need a buddy, and i wanted 2 cats but my mom said no, and that would been twice the cost, but also twice the problems i guess or not and they could just enjoy eachother.
Thank you, i really hope so too, in more ways then one.
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I have 2 cats, one was a rescue from an abusive home, and one was a rescue from a litter that was abandoned. Both have had their quirks and challenges. Both have unique personalities, neither of which I have control of lol. Cats sleep alot, that's just fact. If they're choosing to sleep with/near you then you've gained their trust. when they change from kittens to cats they outgrow some of the destructive(exploratory) nature.. but they still need some type of scratching post for their own health.. you can make one with a small piece of carpet/wood if you can't afford to buy one probably find the pieces online for free.
if the kitten is lethargic, confirm it doesn't have a severe flea infestation (could have come from the previous owner/or if you let it outside). It could have also eaten something that doesn't sit well with it.
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Bowy got a a whole cat pole with scratching rope around them fully. And that's where i wonder the red dots on my whole floor each day, but since that weird visit it doesn't sit on it anymore, unless by curiosity like i just did by moving the fridge it also had a bed it laid in, in the beginning, a small tiny bed my mom bought and the couch, now it rather sleeps on carton on the floor or metal steps, it avoids the corner, even when i play the chase game it just refuses both beds, that odd behaviour i don't understand, don't know what to do etc.
Bowy is a new barn kitten, i been through that hell of fleas with my moms cats (who didn't even see them) in the summer so with shorts and just the feeling everytime of being touched when there were fleas or not. Tooks weeks to get rid of them.
I got wooden floor here, i think it would be easy to see/notice/feel.
And it hasn't changed food since it came here, yes also whiskas, different kind of flavours, sometimes i do like my mom and i just mix a different flavor with the other.
It became lethargic since a visit, nothing happened, i just talked with those people and the woman tried the stick with the ball to lure it from under the couch, but that was all.
Except the discussion came about volunteers for cat proofing the balcony and the woman said oh he might not need it because it's not sure the cat was staying (i wasn't in that phase yet, just wondering if 1 living room is enough for a cat), because there is a bug infestation, when you open the balcony door, even in the halls (both exists are blocked by fire proof doors so they are blocked). It can't but almost like it heared and understood and got sad.
I will post a picture in OP of her corner, she used to be at/in the whole day or before the balcony doors in a carton box, she loved that too, and just now completely ignores.
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You would be better to look through the fur to see what you see rather than look on the floor. Or ask someone to do it if you are not comfortable with it. At least then you have peace of mind.
Pull that catpost out from the corner and make it more accessible, in my opinion it's too confined. If you are able go to a petstore and pick up some catnip to rub a little on it, may get some re-interest in it. Also, if it ignores the catnip too I would say there is very likely an issue.
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Next to it is a fridge actually, never had a problem in the first 4 weeks, it even jumped on it once (luckily only once).
I already moved it in front of the couch or that isn't even enough? Perhaps near the balcony door? Try to replace those steps, and it can also lay in the sun (if there is any) and be closer to me?
Okay, i tried the balcony door and it's in it's bed which it refused to, it ate a bit.
I have noone (hence the loneliness) even my sisters daycare thing goes above family and anything else, a week after my mom had a stroke she went on vacation, my mom became partially disabled, if only my dad was still around in so many ways.
Even a vet, she was like oh i can go after 17:30, like it's a store that you could just walk into, offcourse it goes by appointment.
But if i had it on my lap for 2 hours with a short sleeve t shirt, i would have noticed fleas too on myself.
My socks were always dirty and sticky feet with my moms two cats too, i just never noticed many spots on her white tiles, haven't really paid attention, more if my mom didn't clean the litter box in time and they just did it on the rug, sigh.
But her eyesight is bad so to properly clean it, i always befelt it was on me (and then had to take a bubble bath) and i never showered, that was really a thing i had to learn when i moved.
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I don't wanna freak you out because I have read that you have germophobia but that tiny red dots could be flea poo. If there are tiny tiny black dots that turned red with water or humidity, there is definetely flea poo. It happened to me with one of my cats and I had to use antiparasitics with my cat and a special bug spray for the house sold at the vet. After that everything was totally fine, just make sure to use the bug spray following indications.
Since your cat is too young I would recommended to consult a vet before apply any antiparasitic product to her so you don't exceed dose.
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I know about flea issues with my mom, in the summer with shorts, and a rug on the floor, shaking it out twice a day in the bath, it was no fun. you think on a wooden floor you would see them, or feel them even? Also while a barncat she hasn't been outside.
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Maybe you could shake your kitten's bed and then use a wet wipe over the floor.... so you can check if there are tiny red dots. Maybe there are fleas in her bed and that's why your kitten is changing the place where she sleep to the floor or the metal step or maybe that places are colder and are a relief if she has some flea bites.
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If your cat have never had her nails trimmed, it is highly unlikely that she will be bleeding from there. When a cat sharpens its nails on furniture and other stuff only the old nail layer comes off. The bleeding line of the nail is deeper and I only think the red spots were probably from the nails if they had been cut very short.
As aez76 comment, you would be better to look through the fur of your cat to be sure there are no fleas, neck behind the hears is the better place to look.
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Among all my cats, the last "Semka" stood out especially. He was never particularly affectionate, did not like to lie on me, never demanded attention. At the same time, he liked to be carried in the hands of his owners. Semka fully trusted us in this. There was even a case when he bit me hard after playing, after which I just spread my hands, deciding to throw him off. He didn't even try to land on his paws, falling heavily on his side. He trusted me so much, not expecting this. Semka also always met me and my parents, both at home and on the street and completely ignoring strangers. When he saw us, he could run more than a hundred meters to just walk with us for a while. He even tried to imitate us: sleeping on the couch, always putting his head on the pillow (just his head), meowing while sitting with us or meeting us, trying to imitate the conversation... Despite the seeming some awkwardness, Semka clearly showed affection. It was the first time I saw a cat that had to be pushed to wake up. He felt so safe around us. it is worth mentioning separately that he brought us mice, sharing his prey with us. But he especially stood out by demonstrating his emotions. Disappointment, anger, fear, irritation, surprise, etc. could be clearly read on his face.
Separately, you can recall the change in his character when growing up. In action, he would be very active and playful. But at the age of 2, everything changed, he became more lazy, stopped playing. At the same time, he had no health problems.
As for going to the vet due to the fact that you don't like something in the behavior of the cat, I advise you to contact good specialists and not save money if there is a suspicion of something serious. One day Semka got a hind leg injury and limped badly. The first veterinarian said it was okay, after more than a month we found out from another veterinarian that the leg needed to be set. As a result, we set the leg, Semka was immensely grateful to us for this, but sometimes after sleeping he still limped the first few steps. And if we had done it earlier, it would have been avoided.
I also had cases when he was poisoned by something and was ill for several days. He was walking on the street and more than once was seen eating food that was given to street cats. Although we fed him for slaughter, we gave him not only cat food, but also meat, grass, vitamins. In the end, it ruined him. One day Semka ate something on the street and died within a few days, as did several other cats in the neighborhood.
In any case, Bowy is your cat and you better know what's wrong with her.
I'm sorry for my English, I use an auto-translator.
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Yeah yesterday i had to race to the supermarket (was closing soon) threw Bowy of my chair, but it also didn't really fell on it's feet, i really felt bad about it.
I am sorry to hear that happened to your cat, there are some cruel people, here too, poison or throw them in a pond.
I wish i actually knew what was going on with Bowy, but that's the problem i don't, become almost lethargic because of a visit to the cat pole, couch, just playing in general by itself, then losing his appetite (could still be sick and a coincidence) and sleeping a lot.
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I have had cases when cats showed obvious signs of illness: lethargy, lack of appetite, ignoring attention to them. Sometimes it lasted several days, at most a week. If the condition did not change, then we went to the doctor.
There was also a case when a cat named Ginger had a severe itching at the tail, which caused his skin to thin out in that place, and he chewed his skin until it bled. It turned out to be vitamin deficiency. After that, we reviewed his nutrition. And they became more attentive to such things in the future
I'm sorry for my English, I use an auto-translator.
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Bowy is a Calico, so 99.99~% odds of being female. Calico and Tortoiseshell color patterns are only ever present with XX chromosomes, the exception being a chimera where 2 eggs merge, or Klinefelter syndrome where a male has XXY chromosomes instead of XY.
The drops of blood is most likely not from her nails, the only way that will happen is if you trim them too short and cut into the quick, but you already said you haven't done that. Drops of blood on the floor combined with odd behavior says she is likely ill, and Cats will avoid their usual areas when ill. Cats associate a place they were at when they start feeling sick or start feeling pain with that feeling will avoid that area because to them that place is what is hurting them. Cats will also often lose their appetite when sick. She needs to see a vet.
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Thank you, people said chances were high it could be female, but i never knew the odds.
Correct, they never been trimmed, but if she isn't using her pole and with that ropes to use her nails on?
That i didn't know that cats would avoid their own place when ill, that would finally explain that for me.
And yes i know a long time of not eating could actually be damaging to a cat, she eats but like barely a bag per day and those hard snacks (dunno what they are called in english) while in the beginning it was 3 bags a day.
Maybe i should just make an appointment, carry her on my bike and hope that goes well and also not many costs will arise from it.
One question though, when i use that ball on a stick thing, she is active as heck, jump, run on the couch, jump in the air, do they "forget" the pain then or being sick? And the moving between the boxes they arent really properly stacked and a obstacle course on it's own.
I mean if it really wouldn't even be moving at all, even with a stick, then offcourse that would be way more of a telltale sign that something wasn't good, this makes it mixed/confusing.
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It's hard to say, which is why she needs to see a vet.
I do animal rescue and I've seen the results of people waiting too long, whether they just didn't think it was serious because there was no crying involved, or not having enough money and just hoping for the best rather than trying to find help. The bottom line is if you wait too long, depending on what is wrong, you could end up having to spend a lot more money than if you had gotten her to a vet right away or she could possibly even die.
Have you tried asking your neighbors if one of them would be able to drive you? Fellow pet owners will be more likely to help.
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The issue is, most of the time my mom jumped in, but since she ignoring me, i had another one of those surprise bills of my damn healthcare (already taking 230 + 83), i will have 140 euro left, 42 for a consul alone, if they would give me 80-100 meds or whatever surprise extra's basically i have nothing left for the month. Nor if she wouldn't be around anymore or just in general she shouldn't be even doing this, everything needed like electricity, healthcare i have the cheapest of the cheapest, only thing left is to throw out tv (saves 825 euro a year) but i have to wait till the contract is over.
So yes money is a big issue, i can't live without food and groceries for the rest of the month, i tried one more shoutout to my mom on whatsapp, it's waiting. And that's the biggest thing also, the groceries are the part that are so insanely pricey these days. Just 1 bag full can be 50-70 euro.
Most work or not show themselves like in the garden or balcony, the only one i got some contact with is my neighbour below but she only has an electric bike. So no not someone i know that could drive me.
My dad always drove me, he was a handyman, he could have done curtains for me since the beginning, why i said elsewhere beside being my dad it's kinda bad he passed away, i should have had a stronger contact with him, but my niece also lived with us and my dad was always pro niece against me and my mum, so in the last years it was always very hectic, never had that chance to make up for everything bad.
Despite the whole decision if i am fit to keep it or not, i can't wait on the neighbour either that may or may not want to take it in, or go back to where it come from or wherever, i still am responsible and yes it will be strong neglect if i don't go check it out.
Moving the cat pole to the balcony already made her start climbing it again, and less clingy to me for the time being.
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If she is paying attention to the pole after you moved it then it's possible she injured herself and is still wary of the place it happened. Take a close look around there and see if you can find anything small and sharp in the carpet or couch, like a nail or staple or something. Look at the pole too as many of them use staples to attach the rope or carpet and those can come loose and cause an injury.
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Got to the vet asap!
When in doubt go the vet always!
Blood spots are a sign something IS wrong!
That kitten should be all over the place bouncing with energy, the fact she isn't is a clear sign!
And waiting till she is 6 months is ridiculous!
Every kitten needs to be checked by vet.
They need vaccinations, they need to be wormed, they need be checked for fleas and need a general health check.
All kittens come with fleas and worms they get them from their Mum.
I don't know if the person who had the litter gave them something against worms?
And kittens can actually die from having fleas, they can develop severe anemia!
The 1st thing you do with a kitten or a puppy is get it to the vet to be checked.
Always!
I didn't want to bud in, cause I am in a bad state/place myself.
So I feel for you and the mental health issues you have.
I am not going to add any advise on weather to keep Bowy or not.
I think everything is been said already.
I do know cats and this little one needs a vet!
I am mostly in Ninja mode on Steam, but you can always send me a message with questions, I will respond.
Best of luck!
Edited to add:
Female cats are sexually mature at the age of 5-6 months from that age on they can come into heat.
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Thank you, i hope you find a way to get out of that bad state/place, and if you found a solution by all means do share that with me.
Well it was also actually because my mom had a stroke, but it also seemed best to avoid her 1 stress trip to the vet.
But i agree, it needs to go to a vet, even if i have to do it by bike, i know it can actuallly be damaging if it doesn't eat properly too long (although i don't if its fully not eating, or also even just lesser) i just hope that all works out, and no major costs rise out of it.
I have no idea, my mom got Bowy through her old housekeep who got it from her friend. (why bringing it back is a difficult option, as she is no longer her housekeep as she moved, and one cat i thought i would get, got taken by a predator bird and another taken by a lawnmower, so i am not happy it would go there if i decided Bowy is better off elsewhere.
But aside from that decision, Bowy deserves proper care until then.
Thanks again.
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1) I still think you should look into pine pellets for your cat's litter box because it's more hygienic than dust/sand and it could help with your germphobia.
2) Moving the cat pole to the balcony was a good idea. A balcony (or a window with a view outside) is like a cat's tv, they love to watch what happens outside. They usually also like to be in the sun light, although some cats don't.
3) Regarding the small red dots and Bowy's age, I agree with cheshirecatgirl, first thing you should do before taking a cat in is to go to the vet so they can have a basic check-up. As cheshirecatgirl said, they usually give them some anti parasites. At 5 months old, she should have already been vaccinated multiple time: at 8 weeks the triple vaccine (FVRCP vaccine), at 10 weeks, panleukopenia, at 12 weeks second dose (reinforcement) of the FVRCP vaccine, at 14 weeks second dose (reinforcement) of the panleukopenia vaccine, at 15 weeks rabies vaccination.
Before vaccination you should first check if she already has some disease, like leukemia or feline immunodeficiency because the vaccines could give her a bad reaction.
Now that Bowy is 5 months old she should be near to have her first heat. There's a debate about neutering before or after the first heat in female cats. Doing it before will prevent you to experience the annoying process of her first heat (basically, you -and your neighbors- won't sleep for some weeks). But you can't neuter her while she's having a heat, you have to wait until it stops. Been there, suffered that, so I do know it. Again, it's an open debate but I would recommend you to neuter her before her first heat, you won't suffer the long days of dealing with it and you will also spare Bowy from the strange and uncomfortable process of her firs heat.
But, again, before neutering she should at least have a check-up at the vet (and you'll probably be told to vaccinate her before the surgery).
4) Playing with a cat is a complex task. You can't just wave the toy before her like "hey, look, it's a toy", and you shouldn't use something that won't keep her attention (a ball on a rope is a "meh" toy for a cat). Cats love toys that look and move like their usual preys: fur, feathers, going up, down, up, down, left, right, left right, in a fast motion. Like a live prey would do. I use this one and my cats go crazy about it, especially the younger (3 years), they love the feather ones because when you (vigorously) move them around they look like a real bird: it flies, it rotates while flying, it makes a flapping noise,... That doesn't compare to a ball tied to a rope.
I posted a video on the other thread about it: you must play "hard" with your cat, until she is exhausted (when you see she starts to pant). Let her catch the toy (prey), give her some treats (their instinct after hunting is eating their prey) and repeat the process until her energy is depleted. Cats have a lot of energy but following the boil-simmer procedure you can make them tired to a point where they'll go "ok, I'm done, it's fun but I'm done", and they'll go to have a solid rest/sleep (and you'll be left alone meanwhile).
5) Regarding your 200 euro leather gaming chair and your 180 euro gaming keyboard, I also left a video explaining how to teach your cat not to touch them. Just line the leather parts of the chair with something to protect it then apply something sticky on it (double tape). Bowy will try to climb/scratch it once or twice but it will be so unpleasant she won't keep on trying. The same goes for your desk, put something sticky around your keyboard (or on top of it when you're not using it), Bowy won't like it and will "learn" that those are places that are no fun at all. With time, when she associates that unpleasant feeling in those particular spots, you can remove those "traps", she should still think of those places as unpleasant and will avoid them.
6) Staying in your lap can definitely be a selfish act for a warm spot but it's usually associated with other types of comfort. Cats like to be in contact with who they like, from the moment they're born. If Bowy likes you, she will like to be near you or, even better, touching you. She needs to feel your scent and to leave hers on you. Cats also like to be near to the body/chest because they "enjoy" the sound of your heartbeat, it reminds them of their mother and the first things they felt in the world (cats are born without sight -with their eyes closed-). I've seen cases of crying kittens that were brought to sleep when they were put in a cozy bed with a stuffed animal and a ticking clock.
Let me know if you have any questions or if you need anything.
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The litterbox is not a big issue, if she does it properly, although i do feel the need for short showers afterwards, and i bought cat grid in bulk so i still have 50kg left, but her wanting on my lap, especially after been to the litterbox is my grip, it should be on my bed, outside etc that i can't provide.
But now those dots are everywhere and driving me over the edge more each day, just that i feel stuck with bowy, i don't know about vaccins when etc, i just followed my moms example and they turned out okay.
Although they had a first check up Bowy not, i got 140 euro left a consul is 40 euro, they tried these anti flea thing for my mom which was 80 euro back then and said me to return it and she got collars, everyone around me a good friend, my own mom (who normally would pitch in and help me), even the shrinks casemanager *when i also don't got proper meds) are all ignoring me, the few still around me.
i either got the choice of no eating myself anything (i am already not cooking for myself i already eat salads and bread) for 20 days or deny the cat a proper treatment, both aren't fair.
It's also aching to see everywhere i look at it,
My heart has been racing for 2 weeks (i am a heart patient) and each day is getting worse, i am going to the doctor myself this afternoon.
I am ready to drop the cat in a carrier in front of my moms door, ring the bell, and run off, and leave a note (i am not sure if i am even blocked on whatsapp at this stage) saying bowy needs and deserves proper treatment (and she can take it to the vet she is closeby).
[Edit] Bowy is going to the vet tommorow with a payment plan.
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Man, reading all of the comments I just don't understand why you would take on a pet. If you're wanting to just put Bowy on your mothers porch and run off there's no doubt that you need to give the pet to someone who can take care of it.
Here's a few places that may be able to help take Bowy and give the cat the proper care needed.
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Because i didn't feel this way when i got Bowy, Bowy was different (it's behaviour did change since yesterday a bit) i had my mom and her support, proper meds and contact with a shrink etc? And a pet helped many people except seemingly me.
And perhaps i became at a desperate point? I got the cat all through her, through her housekeep, through her friend, and if she refuses to help or seek contact.
Even bringing a cat to an asylum cost 80 euro.
I am going to the doctor in 15 minutes, and Bowy gets a vet appointment tommorow through a payment plan, that's all i can do now.
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Lots to talk about cats as pets, and how they're not people, and very different from dogs...
But first, it is mainly concerning you're finding red dots on the floor. Which means your cat likely snagged one if it's claws and got it ripped out.
So taking the cat to the vet should be a super high priority, as you should be getting yearly check-ups and vaccinations for your pet.
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Maybe. But that doesnt explain the dots of blood, unless it's only where the cat sits...
I hope your journey goes smoothly tomorrow, and the cost of the pets medication is low.
Make sure to ask the vet about local clinics for low income people. Most areas i've lived they'd have a special clinic once or twice a year, and bring in trainees to help and gain experience.
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Thank you,
Yeah there should be one, i forgot about it until you just mentioned it again, but it's kind of at a spot where my germphobia normally would kick in again, i need to get over things, i know, i wish it was as easy as turning a switch.
Normally you would also have friends/family that could help you (drive etc).
But offcourse i can't wait with Bowy now for months.
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Germphobia can somewhat be alleviated by carrying some sanitizer, and covering yourself from head to toe, including a mask, gloves and goggles.
Check hardware stores painting section, as they often have cheap plastic coveralls that are easy to wear over your regular clothing, and would just need the addition of gloves, goggles, and a face mask.
With no friends/family to help, perhaps try going to a local church and consider being somewhat active in donating your time. They are often in need of help, and will just about always offer help in return. If not for free, as it is a Christian duty to help those in need.
It's hard to take a step out of your own head, but never forget you're not alone. Nor are you the only person with the problems you're facing. More than likely there are other people like you frequenting the church to offer what little they can, and in need of assistance.
Putting religion aside, churches main use is for community gathering and support.
My phobia is being around people, so i have to push myself and get in character to be in public. Before covid, helping at the church once a week was something i did for my own mental health.
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Thank you very much for asking, there could have been a small infection but it also had fleas, my niece came also and picked it clean, today she been totally sleeping. I was asked why she didn't get her shots and everything, i gave it all to her, my mom gave me 100 euro and that was enough to cover it all, she has been given the proper care and things it needed.
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It sounds good that Bowy got the vet things that she needed. When the fleas not suck her all the blood out, she will be more active again.
Did you washed all the things she were in contact with (stuff on the couch etc.) and are able to do something with her cat pole (that no fleas be alive anymore in the end) ?
And it sounds good that you are again in contact with your family.
For bowy and for you.
Maybe your niece can help with making the balcony cat proof.
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Yeah me again, Bowy is still here, because also noone remotely even helps me, my mom was saying Bowy is not a match for you (i even said bowy is a dear and no i stick with it), get rid of it, then get it to a vet (i don't feel safe with a travel box on a bike, what if it gets wild and we fall?) even though i wasn't nearly even doubting in that period nor expressed those sort of feelings to her but now i do, she ignores me, says she can't just take Bowy back.
A vet consult is 42 euro, but some easily going to say say oh let's do a scan of this and that, don't get me wrong i absolutely don't mind paying for Bowy, but my finances are (very) limited (and yes you know that before taking on a cat).
Or just to pay 42 euro's to hear what i might already fear it's just bored / depressed? (Which makes it more that's it's better suited elsewhere).
I am also being ignored with doctors getting my own meds, to have be calm down, the loneliness ever since the move (may) keeps staying so overwhelming, and a friend i haven't seen for years who finally said to come over in the holidays we ended up in a disagreement again and she just went radio silent too, and friday it's my birthday basically celebrating it alone, my mom who had a stroke didn't even visited me once, she has a scootmobile and i can understand it being far, but no reason for her not to come with my sister.
Anyway, ever since that house visit Bowy isn't the same either, she has a whole own side of a couch, stool and bedpost, a carton box she loved (but eventually shredded and another had some dirty marks so threw it away but i don't have an endless box supply).
But she just goes and keep on my side, desk/chair (200 euro gaming chair shredded to bits by now), but also still moving boxes but with some valued stuff i rather not have stuff shredded.
And i do give her moments on being on my lap now (with seperate clothes) but she still doesn't go play after that, it's either sleeping on me or on a flat carton board or some steps. Even when i put her on the couch or the cat pole she keeps going off it, she avoids it.
But also since 3 days her eating habits changed and it's very minor (which is understandable if you are less active)
Yesterday a neighbour asked how my cat was doing, and i told her everything, and she had a neighbour with a young cat and would ask if she wanted to take in another cat, and that's now pending (why i just didn't asked for the door number and ask myself i don't know) instead going through her so it's a waiting game.
My heart offcourse wants to keep Bowy, but my mind says it's better for her and me, most people can offer their sleeping room, or some apartments even here have another room (i wanted 2 too for if i ever would get children still but also open to make that a special cat room, but i got room) but most of all she would have a buddy. It's all just damned i if do, and damned if i don't, and the toughest decision still i make/made.
I read about the whole thing a lot, and people say oh they sit on your lap you are lucky, it are signs of affection, but it can also just be seeking warmth, or that it's telling it's not well, it doesn't show the telltale signs of boredome or stress though, like bald spots, their ears are normal, and she can for sure still try to climb through the moving boxes on my side.
Why after a house visit (nothing happened) it just completely shies away from her whole side including all her toys she loved to play with? And if a cat isn't feeling healthy can you always see that, do they tell or is it sometimes hidden and they won't?
If i use the stick with a ball on it's it just follows it blindly everywhere, in every way, so it does not seem like she is incapable at all anymore of movement, she just doesn't want to seem to do it on it's own.
My heart just breaks (which i also feel phsyically) just to see it like this, and only confirms it's better elsewhere but what if it was just something physical, and yeah i know a vet should be the best option, or let someone take the proper care, see if it perks up.
[Edit] Also my floor is often covered daily to 2 days with pin pricks of red dots, and often my socks are full of them, and makes my socks and feet sticky, now with my germphobia i probably shouldn't ask, but are those nail issues? I had that with my mom too and her two cats, but i can't remember so severe nor even really seen it on the tiles as much there.
[EDIT2]: Okay, actually having moved her cat pole to the balcony door, closer to me made her go back in it, even her bed.
[LAST EDIT]: Bowy will go to the vet tommorow through a payment plan, the person on the phone thought perhaps a bladder infection possible by stress from that visit.
https://imgur.com/a/4fdq2cF Picture of her corner, where she used to be at/in the whole day, or on the ground playing or sit in her carton box in front of the window and suddenly avoids unless being guided by play, the beds she avoids even at all even guided, while before she slept in them, loved them.
https://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/LV4G3/pumpkin-jack
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