Did you know June is Men's Mental Health month? :)
i can only recommend to watch these, very underrated gems imho (specialy on the first link you should by any means watch the whole video until the end, but be warned it can hit you quiet hard and directly)
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All the attention goes toward pride month and men at least in the US are typically thrown to the side its cool to learn about this,
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I borderline can't get through a conversation without bringing up depression or how pointless life is. Considering it's been (at least) 6 years and fuck-all has improved, I'd ask for you to excuse me if I don't think "talking with someone" helps in any way. :|
(Not really a "man" thing when I think about it... I don't imagine things would be any different if I had a second X chromosome instead of a Y one. We all exist in the same fucked up world either way. So, uh, am I being off-topic? >.< )
In-before people reply with the usual canned responses like "Things will get better eventually!" (baseless platitude); "Go to a psychologist/psychiatrist." (been there, done that, am doing that even now because I'm stupid, never helps, never will help); "Go outside more." (I get to personally see all the things I hate about the world and it's actively making me feel worse...); etc...
Actually I think that spoiler encapsulates how pointless "talking about it" is. People always respond with whatever "solutions" they think they have, but it's all white noise to you when you've already concluded that there is only one real solution- permanent total nervous system shut down. Otherwise known as dying. And, as everyone always insists, "it's up to me" (to go along with a solution)... I just need to overcome my guilty conscience somehow...
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Ok, I can relate to most of what you said up until that last line...
overcome my guilty conscience.
What is it you're guilty about?
I suffered from "depression" (I don't like that word, personally, it doesn't really explain things that well) from my mid teens to mid 20's - but not sure I can I say I felt guilty about it. I hated myself, I hated life, I hated anything and anyone I could. I hated being around people, especially if they were especially bubbly personalities. The hate was more of a spite rather than an angst or wanting to harm anyone (other than maybe myself). I didn't see the point in living, because any joy I experienced seem to fleet by so fast, and I just felt hollow. Distant. An incredible loneliness, even when in a group of people. The only guilt I can think I might have felt is when the one or two people who generally cared about me couldn't see how helpless it was to try and help me out of this "rut". They were wasting their time, regardless of my definitive not wanting their help.
I know that what I went through is probably totally different to what you're experiencing.
You're not alone in how you feel, but you are alone. It's hard.
I'm not going to try to help you, because I don't truly think I got over my depression in a healthy manner.
I've become hardened, but not having that heavy cloud above me. Maybe it's just time/my age that has helped me move on.
Because at the end of the day, I don't think any human interaction has helped or "cured" me.
My clinical illness has just moved on from being called "depression", per-se.
I just hope what I said helps in whatever weird way it can. Take care.
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Um... I mean that I feel guilty over the whole wanting to die thing. Since if I die, especially by suicide, the people around me will be miserable about it. The only viable solution for me is one that throws everyone else under the bus... and apparently some part of my brain cares about that and prevents me from taking any real actions... I don't wanna hurt anyone. So I'm left stuck... just waiting for things to "improve" somehow... or for my parents to die from old age so they don't have to live through my death...
Sorry about the misunderstanding...
And, um... thank you...
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Thank you for raising awareness about this.
Sorry for your loss.
I googled and found this website to be relevant: https://menshealthmonth.org/
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I didn't know! Bump with some recommendations:
Books:
"Men, Women, and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough" by Brené Brown
"I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression" by Terrence Real
"The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love" by bell hooks
"Boys Will Be Human" by Justin Baldoni (a book for kids/teens)
"For the Love of Men" by Liz Plank
"The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives"
Anything by Gabor Maté
"The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk (aka the unofficial 'trauma bible')
"Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker
Youtube:
HealthyGamerGG
Men. Abuse. Trauma. by Philosophy Tube (potentially heavy stuff of you're traumatized)
Communities (Reddit):
r/HealfromYourPast
r/MensLib
r/malementalhealth
/r/everymanshouldknow
r/emotionalneglect
/r/ResponsibleRecovery
r/CPTSDNextSteps
r/dbtselfhelp
r/AbuseInterrupted
sends virtual hugs
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It's been a few years since I lost someone very special from my life that had some on-going troubles with themselves.
I would like to spread some awareness for men out there.
If you, as a man, or, really, as a person, feel like the world is too heavy to carry on your own shoulders, talk with someone! Your family, your co-worker, some random guy on the internet; anyone! It doesn't even matter much if they do actually care. Just talk your heart and mind out if you need to do so.
Silence kills more than words can ever do.
Happy Men's Mental Health month!
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