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I'm sorry for your loss(es) Razielite. I'm sure Milo had a great time with you and you did the best by taking care of him. I can understand how hard it is to accept his fate because I lost my 8 year old cat, Tofu, 10 days ago by a car crash. He was chasing another cat and when the car was just passing by, the other cat ran away but my poor boy couldn't escape. I miss him a lot and am pretty sure the only living thing in my apartment will be the plants for a long time.

This is a sad but the most beautiful comic I know about dogs: Death and the dog

Keep in mind all the good you do by keeping them at your home. I bet you gave Milo lots of great moments even If he didn't showed any sign. Please don't stop doing this If you're able to give a stray dog a place. They're the most loyal animals.

even though he is gone now, the good memories wil stay with you. plz don,t give up, you are doing so much good.I know keeping pets eventually involve losing them, but that doesnt deminis the good memories.

loss is a part of living, and ik it sucks, it hurts and you dont wanna hurt no more, but if ya dont hurt you cant have the good things

give it some time.

feel free to ad me if ya wanna talk, ik what its like to feel dperessed..

I'm so sorry for your loss. Animals are a real treasure, and you did the right thing giving him the best life you could give him, as he in return blessed your life. Although we all must leave this life sooner or later, the unconditional love you and Milo had for each other will never end. Please, take your time to heal and try to remember the good times you spent together. I know it hurts now, but I hope it gets better soon, Razielite ♥

You have my deepest sympathies. Dogs are my favourite people.

Straight talk for a moment:

You are using danger phrases, like:
I don't feel anything
I feel dead inside
I can't do this anymore
Only bad things happen to me

And you mention that you have been suicidal in the past.

Call and get help. Now. Please. You are hurting and you need help.

I think you live in the US. You can call:
911
The suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255

Save your life.

I may come as insensitive but, the reality is that every single person or animal we care about, will eventually die.
The question is, even knowing that, is it worth loving and creating new bonds?

My personal conclusion is, yes. Because we are born here completely alone and against our will. Now, reflect and think, were those happy moments you had with the ones you cared about something you would change or get rid off? Maybe those feelings and memories, few or blurred as they may appear to be, are worth it all that comes with them. Loss, sadness, etc.

You may think that if you stop bonding and loving you will not suffer. This in my experience is not true. You may not suffer loss, like you do when you lose a loved one. But other shades of suffering will come eventually and your emotional and mental health will take a severe hit.

Furthermore, we can only get to feel and love while we are alive, there is no after.

Paraphrasing Heidegger, life is a fall. When we are born we are thrown into a seemingly voidless hole. Every time we experience something is the equivalent of using our hands to grab the wall and momentarily and fugaciously stop the fall.

There was a point my dog was my only reservation to wait on killing myself, I was his human and just couldn't do it and leave him to live without me. I couldn't ever attach to a person like I could that dog, dogs are too innocent to deserve anything as cruel as the world around them. I was lucky to have him live throughout my most unstable years, but losing him after he was the only reason I made it through all that was still devastating to say the least. I know the feeling in your chest you have.

Any condolences will probably go in one ear and out the other at this moment, the wound is still fresh and it won't stop hurting or begin to heal in the immediate future. Like any physical wound though, with time it will heal. No if, and, or but. It will. It is near impossible to think of that or any rational thought about it when the grief runs its course, but you gave that dog a life it would have never had without you. I promise you things will get better, even if your gut assures you that they will not.

Oh, man, I still remember that thread about your dog three weeks ago... This is... horrible.

I want to say something useful, but I'm being pretty horrible at finding the words to express it, so have my condolences. You're going through a shit time, and I know what it feels like. Living can be very tough. But it's gonna get better, so (as difficult as it is right now) take a deep breath and start collecting your pieces, one by one. It'll take a while, but at some point you'll be feeling a lot better.