There's a black hole in my head

Do you want a cushy or straight reply? Because i dunno about there but here a good degree does not equal a "good job" anymore automatically, these days be glad you can find yourself in a job, from there, will it get better? Good, will it not? Sucks.
You are trying your best, sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't, it just makes us human and we can't all be perfect or do things perfect, i think you should discuss these issues with that family member or friend.

Regardless, good luck.

thanks a lot mate and most of all best of luck for your future, follow what Lugum said! =)

bump and thank you

You do like jigsaw puzzles, so there should be nothing wrong with your head. The problem is probably elsewhere and everywhere around the place.

Thanks for making me do some jigidi. I love them but haven't done one in ages.
You worked hard and it's normal to feel tired. Find some time for yourself. Do some hobbies, sports, dance, go out in parks, mountains, and smile at the sun to recharge.
You already know how burning out feels. Work to minimize that feeling in the future 💗

Bump, thank you, and good luck with the course / job search :-)

my day has already been better than yours, ms. just an easy guess.

if i were you, i'd check again what -at first sight- might seems a fail. why not consider the -inner- opportunity to do better next time, when you aren't as tired as you are, right now?

a "stop existing wish" might be seen as extreme, but imo is just a ...natural thing, like an option each one of us has. those are moments, tho, ms.

like right now, a bunch of us rambling, showerthinking, tipping, trying, helping, whatevering.
and, sometimes, that could help. already helped, as we can see browsing these discussions of ours... :D

keep on rambling, stranger!
we are really not here just for the gibs :P

<3

Perhaps it will be difficult to hire if you don't study "foreign languages"?
I think that there are a lot of "employment problems" because of "language" in modern society.
After five or ten years, machine translation alone may be sufficient.
However, when you live now, it may be difficult to work in your own qualifications and areas of expertise.
But do you need to "do something"?
A little bit, "procrastination" may be good.

When you get a job, it is better to continue "Slow, but send little by little".
Many of the people who tried to return a large amount at one time, there are also many who "never return home again".
One thing I often see is the scam (close to it) of "Let's find a job in Japan from an East Asian country! Scholarships and debt repayment! High salaries and high treatment!"
Originally, an organization that smuggled into "Japan" from "China" had such know-how and became a social problem frequently.(🐍)
Some people come to Japan with a complete job sponsored by a public agency.
That person will immediately quit the company joined by the sponsorship. And it is also a problem that it becomes missing.
That person will flee to "Tokyo" and "Osaka" where there are many "religion gatherings in their home country" and "people gatherings". It is the reason that salaries are high in the city.
And that person is annoyed by the language barrier when try to work, and quits. That person will not be able to pay the penalty at the time of the sponsorship and will not be able to repay the debt.
Those who have work visas will also be due and will disappear.
Then, they commit crimes, discover them, hold them in astronomical debt and be imprisoned in jail, or they are deported.

There is no perfect human being in the world.
You are an ordinary person who is working hard.
Talk to people who are giving you money once.
There is no need for your life to go the same way as “this one”.

Sounds like your have a lot on your mind and may just be burnt out from the studying + possibly overthinking. Of course at times you will feel tired of something you are pushing on yourself constantly such as studying or work. So if you can find time to just relax, help you take your mind off things and reset yourself it may be helpful! Don't worry too much about your job prospects until you know you have graduated, as that is what is in front of you at the moment. We all go through rough stages at times but I'm sure you're a bright person and your family member has seen this inside of you to invest their money in you. As said above, you should probably speak with the issues you are having to someone close.

In any case, higher education is just a smol part of your life and shouldn't be grounds for not wanting to exist... If you graduate or fail, your life will still go on regardless and it will still continue to have its ups and downs. Life has an uncanny ability to be unpredictable and that is what makes it a roller coaster worth riding. Best wishes & I hope you turn things around :-)

bump

bump!

Bump

There is a black hole in your head, and a garden in my hearth.

Honestly, my life has mostly been a chaotic mess, I have had serious struggles with depression and often felt myself lost and overwhelmed with uncertainty about what the hell I was supposed to do... But, I managed to stumble through it, and now I'm in a better place than ever before. The most important thing is just to keep going, because the comforting statistical truth is that for the majority of people, the older they get, the more they enjoy their life. Personally the most important thing has been learning to let go of the past, to release myself from the burden of predicting what's going to happen next, and just to live in the moment and make the most of what comes my way.

That said, here are 4 pieces of practical advice to deal with depression:

(1) Stay in touch. Resist the temptation to retreat from friends and family. Spend time with them. Talk with them. It helps.

(2) Don't use (unprescribed) drugs or alcohol to "make you feel better". Because they don't! They make you less capable of dealing with your problems, and dependence makes you feel even more of a failure. Depressants and stimulants are not effective ways of establishing a healthy mental state.

(3) Be active. It might seem meaningless, but it's been well documented that just 20 minutes of exercise a day can have a huge effect on feelings of helplessness and worthlessness.

(4) Force yourself into a routine. Going to bed and getting up just "whenever" might feel like a comfortable, carefree way to live - but living by fixed, sensible hours is actually an incredibly easy way to regain a feeling of being productive and in control of your situation. Like the exercise, it might sound like it shouldn't make any meaningful difference - but it really does.

Here's to things getting better!

If it makes you feel better, I'm getting ready to leave a job I've had for 11 years...10 of which were great, but the last one has been terrible. It's a great job and people think that I'm insane for leaving, but I just can't do it any more. It's time to find the next thing.

I've had to do this once before...this is just what life hands out. You can curl up in a ball and be sad and pretend it isn't happening, or you can dust yourself off, admit that things suck, and then get about the business of figuring out the next step. That last bit is important...you don't have to have some giant master plan. Just figure out the next step. Things will change along the way (they always do). All that you can do is keep moving forward and be ready to shift when circumstances in your world change.

Finish up your degree. Regardless of whether it gets you a job, you'll be glad that you completed it. And while a degree doesn't guarantee you anything, it does lend you a certain amount of credibility, even if you're searching for a job that your degree doesn't directly address.

Good luck.

It sounds like you could use some help. Maybe talk to a doctor about those feelings and the confusion, and the permanent exhausted state.

There is no easy solution to life but if you feel there's no light at the end of the tunnel, just don't look forward or backward. Sometimes the light is just on the side of you. In simple things. Friends. Games. A pet! Anything that makes you happy even for a few minutes every day.

Just pick your chin up, buddy. School is just something we pass through. Your life awaits.

I'm in a similar situation right now. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but I can pass on the advice I wish someone had given me:

Don't be afraid to reach out for help. There are so many people out there who want you to succeed and will help you with your goals. Don't hide from your support group, whether it's friends, family, classmates, or anyone. Don't let guilt dissuade you from talking about your life with the people who are important to you!

Every school I've been to (and I've been to quite a few) has a support system for students who are struggling. Don't be afraid to talk to someone. Don't worry that your problem is too small, too big, or too stupid. People want to help you. Take a chance and reach out.

Bumf

bump.
Luck and good fortune be unto you.

Can't say something more useful than people above, just want to wish you good luck, and take care of yourself.

I do not think that I could not have said it any better myself than what Icaio said.
Keep your chin up! Things will looks brighter. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but eventually.
Also, what I do when I feel down, or my brain feels numb etc, is pull up a OTR (Old Time Radio) broadcast of a comedy show. Jack Benny, Fibber McGee & Molly, Fred Allen, & The Henry Morgan Show are great for me. if you like other genres, let me know and I'll get you some show recommendations in those genres as well.

Bump