Today is my bother's birthday.!

Sad no secret giveaway here

I just wanted you people to read my speech, that i am going to say to my brother in front of a lot of people.

"Hey!
I know, we don't much these days.
But then i just wanted you to know that you are everything to me, my brother, my father, my mother and my sister.
You are my world.
If it wasn't because of you, i wouldn't be a changed person.
You made me become a man of honor and respect and hard work.
I Love You Brother.
I wish you a very happy birthday."

Please let me know if any of these to be corrected.

9 years ago

Comment has been collapsed.

Only thing I can see is in the second line, you're missing a verb. You don't do what much these days? Hang out? Spend time together? Other than that looks like a nice lil speech :)

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Lol the word is Talk i missed it XD

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

"then" at second line seems inappropriate as a connect, I would use "however" as you're going against the fact that you don't talk these days.

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Okay.
"But however, i just wanted you to"
is it looking good now.?

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Deleted

This comment was deleted 4 years ago.

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

in my opinion, it would look better without but and other word. starting with "I just...".

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Thanks for the suggestion

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

"f it wasn't because of you, i wouldn't be a changed person."

If it wasn't for you, I would be a different person.

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Please let me know what are you suggesting....i am confused :D

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

The first line was yours.
The second line was my improved English version.

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Ohh alright....i will keep that in mind.

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Deleted

This comment was deleted 5 years ago.

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

don't make fun of people asking help

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Thank you so much sir..

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

"grammar" fyi

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Grammer? why no Grimer?

View attached image.
9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Also talking seriously, "You made me become a man of honor and respect and hard work." too many "and's", the first "and" can be replaced with a coma ","

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Haha i know but i like it that way because of "and" i can take a pause. :)

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Agree with sviat...

instead of the 'and' just pause.. don't say 'and' :)

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

hehe alrighty

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Just to combine a bit of suggestions others have offered:

I know we don't talk much these days.
But/however, I wanted you to know that you are everything to me, my brother, my father, my mother and my sister.
You are my world.
If it wasn't for you, I would be a different person.
You taught me the values of honor, respect, and hard work.
I Love You Brother.
I wish you a very happy birthday.

It's a very nice speech. An added thing, the line "If it wasn't for you, I would be a different person" If you are trying to emphasize that you've made positive changes thanks to them, then you could say "I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for you".

Anyways, whatever you say, it's obviously coming from the heart, so they'll love it I'm sure!

9 years ago*
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

That's pretty good.! :)
I will see to every suggestion :)

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

this one is really nice! And yes, everything you say is from the heart. I'm sure your brother will love it.
Also Happy birthday to him!

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Thanks a lot sir.!

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

that is very sweet of you. I'm sure your brother will notice the love, more than your grammar :)

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

thanks sir..

9 years ago
Permalink

Comment has been collapsed.

Closed 9 years ago by DrT3RR0R.