ah sweet internet how I've missed thee

short version: unpaid bill = no internet. paid bill = restored internet. yay

medium version: unpaid bill results in internet being disconnected. once the bill is paid, the connection is restored. hooray!

significantly longer extended directors cut version: so here in the UK we have this organisation named the Department of Work and Pensions whose job, depending on who you ask, is either to ensure that everyone receives the financial aid their individual circumstances require OR to ensure that as many people as possible receive as little money as possible so that there is more money for them and the government to steal for themselves

I, for a variety of reasons (including PTSD, stress, depression, anxiety and more issues than a long running magazine subscription [I'm being environmentally friendly by recycling my jokes]) was placed on Support Group component of Employment Support Allowance (contrary to what you'd expect from the name it's for people whose condition keeps them temporarily or permanently unable to work). during summer 2016 I was scheduled to have an assessment to judge whether I still needed the help or whether I should be put onto a different band or benefit or to see if they could steal my money for their greedy pockets
I was too ill to make the appointment so I phoned them to reschedule. they assured me this was fine and gave me a new appointment date the following week. sadly I was still too ill to attend and so I phoned again. they were less friendly and threatened 'sanctions' if I failed to attend. since I didn't magically recover within the duration of the phonecall I did fail to attend but tried to phone for a new appointment once I felt better. they told me that my status was 'pending review' and I would have to wait...
... then I got a letter saying that because I was too ill to attend the assessment I was therefore deemed fit to return to work and would be placed on JSA: Jobseekers Allowance instead (less money and have to attend fortnightly appointments to sign your name a dozen times before a computer decides you aren't pretending to be you) ... yes that really IS what the letter said (but not the part in brackets. obviously). it also mentioned that despite my having informed them in advance of my illness and rescheduling they still count that as a failure to attend (which gives them the rights to cut off your benefits)

a year later and a successful court ruling in my favour back in May and I still have yet to receive the backpay owed and have, according to their own letters, had to live on less income than what they deem the "minimum needed to live on" (because of deductions taken from my fortnightly payments to pay off the Social Fund Loan I had to take out from them during the period of zero income while they decided what to do)... and have had to deem some bills as lower priority so that I can cover the important things like rent, gas, electric, food, internet... no sadly internet didn't actually make the cut, I had to let that one go. but now it's back!
so yeah, the DWP are evil and indirectly robbed me of my internet. but now I'm back!

significantly longer extended directors cut version with commentary track: no. just... no. have some WMD instead of DWP

D W Taking The P

A Kafka inspired cult
Based themselves on K’s trial
They’ll steal all that you’re owed
With confusion, deceit and denial
The Department of Wankers and Pillocks
Wage war against the disabled
Comatose or catatonic
“Fit to work” you’ll still be labeled

They’re paid to sit on their arses
And they do bugger all work
So they assume that you’re the same
A cheating and dishonest jerk
They’ll bury you in brown envelopes
Hoping you’ll kill yourself
They’ll pretend that you’re fit and well
All the while sapping your health
Driving us towards our graves
Just to gain their own wealth

7 years ago

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Did you vote in this poll?

View Results
yes
no
yes but I voted no
no but I voted yes
yes but I voted potatoe
yes but I voted potato becauz I kan spel
sorry I couldn't hear the question because it's actually written in text... wait, what?

Waiting for the unedited, uncut version with concept artwork, deleted scenes and a "Making of" companion documentary.

7 years ago
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Welcome back =)

7 years ago
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Deleted

This comment was deleted 2 years ago.

7 years ago
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I cannot remember a time in history where a single country/empire ruled the whole world, what do you mean?

7 years ago
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Bump for sweet, sweet internet!

7 years ago
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TL;DR : Yeah the DWP can go suck a fuck :P
--

Long-ass version :
I remember back when I was on similar benefits (I don't know what they would be called now with the constant re-butchering of the system), but I was called in for an assessment at one point. The assessor decided to give me lots of side-eye and make constant unnecessary prods and remarks, and whenever I tried to answer her questions in ernest (when I wasn't sure how to qualify my response) she would stare at me for a moment, then half-sighing say "Please answer yes or no". It was great fun for someone with unmedicated depression, raging anxiety issues, and an unknown crippling inferiority complex that had been going on for years.

I ended up eventually breaking into tears because of the sense of powerlessness, and her response was an apathetic "...why are you crying? I'm just asking you questions." The one that set me off was when she initially asked me if I was able to leave my house and engage in normal activities on a regular basis. My reply as usual was to try explain my situation so she herself could glean what she needed to know, where I explained I tried to force myself to leave the house twice a week, to prevent relapsing into total avoidance, which usually included helping my grandfather (who was my effective caretaker at the time) with groceries. Instead of the usual, she took an actual interest in the 'sometimes' aspect of that, and assumed my grandfather to be infirm, and scoffed "So you make an old man do the work.... and you 'sometimes' help. Right." Pretty par for the course with her attitude and far from hidden implications in tone. Funnily enough even when she only wanted a flat yes or no, she still write several lines, and would hush me if I tried to elaborate. Naturally I was booted onto jobseekers allowance and deemed entirely fit for work. Not that it surprises me. When I challenged the ruling (thanks to support from family), I met a guy who had a back injury due to a car accident, which caused him to get muscular spasms and require walking sticks if he wanted to travel alone over anything but short distances. He was apparently only qualified for manual labor, but was designated as fit for work (but offered no further support).

Back then it was fucking bizarre. During my time on jobseekers (prior to the benefits) I was assigned to an employment agency who was supposed to help you get back into work. Their assistance largely boiled down to telling you something general to do, then ignoring you. To be fair, there were some good staff there but I guess I was just unlucky to have been assigned to a largely ignored group. The most laughable example of assistance there was having two groups joined together in an empty room (save for a number of tables pushed together with seats around the outside), then having a member of staff come in, drop two copies of the yellow pages on the desk, say literally just "Apply for some jobs", and then go sit on top of a table in the corner, then noisily unwrap a sandwich and eat it, staring at us all. Yeah, because cold-calling random businesses in a silent room (with a bunch of giggling, quietly but openly mocking teenagers also watching) was real awesome. Oh, yeah, there were about 25 of us, and there were two phones.

Ah well, fast forward a good 6-or-so years, and I got a bit better, managed to struggle out a little bit of progress, and actually got hooked up with a useful agency. Now I have a part-time job that I can actually maintain without utterly ruining myself through my leftover neurosis. It's not much but it's something I guess. Still, that path of benefits was a total minefield for someone with mental/emotional issues, and I'm not sure if it's just me downplaying the shit I had to deal with (my radar for that is utterly broken), but compared to some of the things that people may suffer with, I was trying to navigate that minefield on easymode and still got chewed the fuck up. I hope it's gotten better but when you hear about so many people getting smacked down by blindspots and red tape, it doesn't inspire much confidence.

Sorry for the spam. This is just my long-winded way of giving you a +1 and saying "I sorta know that feel".
But hey, you survived without the internet, if this were a game you'd totally get an achievement for that ;D

7 years ago
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no need to apologies, some people like spam and even order spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam from the menu whenever possible

7 years ago
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Bump for internetfulness!

7 years ago
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Bump!

7 years ago
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I just read in Guardian about the nonsense called British social services and the problems with the new system of paying benefits in Scotland, which actually gets people into trouble with a ton of bills they are not able to cover. And they say this is a trial of a new system to be implemented nationally, so probably making people suffer without any real need. I can see some similar things in my country. The humanity is going down definitely. All you guys, who had this kind of experience, hold on and try to do the best for yourself.

7 years ago
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Kafka inspired indeed... The good thing is you had the energy to take that to court, most people wouldn't, since in these situations it usually requires a lot of energy/time/money or all 3 depending on the system you live in. Hope you will get what is still owed soon enough. Have a bump :)

7 years ago
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I have a lifetimes experience of being stubborn and thankfully friends who were happy to help me deal with the stress as well as a local charity specialising in dealing with the DWP to help. even so, I'm amazed to wake up in my bedroom instead of a padded cell sometimes

7 years ago
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This is all too common. You will need the county court to enforce the tribunal's decision and get your money. Usually small claims is the easiest route but sometimes they will just pay you without actually implementing the tribunal's decision which can prejudice future DWP decisions because you still have a black mark on your record.

Your local CAB can advise and help you with this. You have to use the paper form and calculate statutory interest yourself which is a bit of a feth. So let the CAB do some hand holding, too often people don't pursue these matters to avoid more stress but it's a simple matter.

7 years ago
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