Deleted

How old are you?

If there's one thing that actually helped me in life it's that you don't choose the family you're born into. The concept of a family and the whole blood's thicker than water bullshit is meaningless. Get away from him as soon as you can and never deal with him ever again.

Do you work or just go to school?

I think you really shouldn't say things like that and I don't believe that he doesn't care if you kill yourself. Consider how you would feel if somebody you loved threatened suicide. You can either take it seriously, in which case you probably need to commit them to a mental hospital for professional care, or you can think (& hope) that they are not serious about it. If you don't think they are serious, you probably don't want to pretend that they are, for a couple of reasons. Somebody that threatens suicide is clearly trying to emotionally manipulate the other person, and they are "going all in" with an ultimatum. If you treat it seriously, it gives them emotional leverage and rewards this manipulative behaviour. It also legitimises the threat, and they will learn that it is a successful tactic they can go back to. If they think about it a lot, they might eventually come to start being serious about it. It also means that you would have to believe that somebody you love is so miserable that they don't want to live anymore, which is an extremely unpleasant idea to come to terms with. It does seem fairly petulant for someone in their mid-20's to talk about giving up on life because your dad argued with you about how you spend your spare time, so it's understandable that he might think that you were just saying it to try to upset him. Life's about compromises and relationships are about communication. If you guys always push each other's buttons and can't have a calm discussion, maybe talk to your mum about it. Ask her why it upsets your dad so much, and what you could do about it (like if there is a chore you could do) so that you can still relax by doing what you enjoy (but maybe not quite as much). If you are able to talk to him, I'd try to explain that you consider your role at the moment to be a good student, so that you can get a good job, and ask if he agrees. You can tell him that you studying is a full-time job that you take seriously, and you have the grades to show that you are working hard. You can tell him that it is stressful and that of all the ways you have tried to relax, you have found movies and games to be the most helpful at letting you switch off and forget about your stress. So, your recreation is part of being a good student - it recharges your energy so that you can be good again the next day, the same way that somebody that digs holes all day might get a massage and have a long sleep. It really depends on why he doesn't like it, which your mum might help find out, but I think if there's something that you can do like chop wood or clean up the garden, or whatever, he should appreciate the effort (especially with your mum's encouragement to notice that you are trying to make him happy) and may be more understanding.

Well, my dad can get angry over small things like a couple of his tools is on his desk, or it's not tidy,I was angry easily too, a couple of years ago, (my ADHD made it easy to get me angry), he handled all the fights, and well, he always won.. x).

But as I said, I still love him. Hope it gets better for you, don't really know what more to say, I'm just a kiddo. :P

Yea, I guess.

no worries. just had to input the best way I could :p

I just don't want to say I like one of them better, and there is no option for that.

hahaha look like our dad has similar job

I am on college too about 2 more years to graduate, i will work with him after graduated lol that would be my hardest time but i think i can manage it

yeah, i'm on my own.

i'm kind of tempted to argue semantics, but yeah, basically true.

hmm well, then you have to wait till you move out after your exams, if i had read that correct...

or you could try to search a bit through the internet about how to calm down people with such anger problems... maybe you have to reduce your media stuff to get a better contact to your father...

sometimes we have to change ourself to get better connection to others... doesn't matter if it's fair or not... it's more about what you would do for it...

i can just hope for you to fix it... because loosing people in such a bad relationship can eat you up later...

Yeah. Knew him for 40 years before he fell of the perch. :)

non taken :P a zombie would be preferable in this instance :)

True, so we get along, we're not mean to each other most times, just maybe a bit tense sometimes rarely over stuff concerning me but not realy a too big deal, nothing too bad, maybe not at all, it's been mostly just trivial stuff and some occasional important stuff, eh, hard to explain.

But dad? He abused me and my mom and sister, when I was a kid and couldn't understand homework , he would force me to stay awake entire nights, hitting my head and making me cry, he wouldn't tolerate me even talking about games, finds it ashamefull and says it won't get me anywhere in life (it's true, I know) he is very rough, left my mother for a Russian whore and still lives with her, would occasionally take us out for movies and dinner and still pays alignments but he is still a piece of shit and it realy got worse , reading about your dad, he and my dad feels just so similar, I'm sorry you suffer from that foop but yeah, atleast your dad isn't mine, I for God hope that your grandparents aren't my grandparents, a horrible with and a litearl devil...I won't live better, it will only go worse from here but...thanks....

I don't know the story of Jon but from what I read before, your dad is not violent against you.
It looks like he think you should not only play games and watch tv but make more out of your free time and your life...
That means: he think you can do better but just don't know how to show/say it to you.
If he would be dead, I think you would be not be happy and your mum would prob. be very sad.

My "Dad" leaved my mum and my sister shortly before I was born. My first contact with him was when I was 12 and my mother needed some paper from him (he told me, it would be better for all when I would not be there and that he feel sorry because I was "made").
Later I needed some data from him for a student grant and it was "okay". I think today he feel more or less sad because of his words and his actions...

He was not a "good dad", he didn't even exists in my life.
But still I would not say that the world would be a better place without him and there are only a few people on earth where I would say this at all...

If you boths can't work things out get a job beside school and move out. Most of the time it will get better and it becomes easier to talk to each other and accept the other "way of life".

I wish you much patience! )))

I live with my mom, not my father. My parents were divorced so I was in his custody vactions and weekends. Couldn't do shit about it 'cuase cps and ss here don't care about abuse unless it's sexual. I'm 18 now so I don't have to be in his custody anymore.