Depression

Hi cifudux. My Dad had cancer, but though I lived with him I never had to deal with it alone. Waiting for help to arrive is scary enough even with other people around, and waiting alone must have been horrible. Hope you have been able to get some rest in the hours since posting.

Have you consider visiting a psychologist?

If you want real help, you won't find it asking on forums on the internet, especially here.

Heya cifudux, I had an aunt who had cancer and passed the same way as you, you might think it's not the same as yours but I loved her as much as my parents, it was a part of me.

I'll be honest and direct, it will take you weeks, even months. I'm not trying to bring you the mood down, this is something that as you said on the thread any sorry won't help you.

The first step (and the hardest one) is to accept it, as I said before, it took me weeks untill I accepted the fate, that I was fine with that, that I moved on. Accepting is the crucial step to surpass the depression. Accepting that your mother has cancer and accepting that one day you'll have to move on.

Spend as much time as I did with my aunt, get as many good memories of her untill the day happens, do not think you're doing it because of the cancer but because you really wanna be with her.

Sorry if you don't really understand what I'm saying, it's kinda hard for me expressing it into words to be honest

Maybe you should seek some support groups in your city (or near your city) or psychologist as Silverio said. There's nothing wrong with seeking little help and support for yourself. I'm afraid I can't help you any more. I had cancer myself when I was a kid but I can't imagine what my parents went through then.

I agree with RedFrix's suggestion. A living funeral is another option to consider as it will allow your mother and others who know her to tie up loose ends. Friends and relatives who attend her living funeral will also be more receptive and aware of your situation, which leads to extra support.

Both you and your mother can get involved with fundraising/charity events for cancer research. You will meet others in similar situations in these events. Plus you will be spending precious time together for a good cause.