I don't suppose she's trying to subtlety flirt with you?
You could also try the direct approach and go over and ask her if you could have this seat for once.
Or you could carry in just one book and run over there really quick. Let her see you there, run out and get your other books after really quickly and then run back :D
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She likes you. You are like a character living in a chick flick. Time to move it to scene 2 bud.
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Politely smile back as you set her clothes on fire ?
Or next time make a beeline for the table and set your stuff down first.
Or find another sweet spot - most libraries I've visited have large-ish study rooms with multiple spots anyway.
Or strike up a conversation about how you both seem to prefer the same spot. Do this especially if she's attractive enough that you want to make contact anyway
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This thread made me laugh, so thank you for easing that irritation. I feel better.
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Make love not war.
Also close your eyes for the sake of love.
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You grin back (or start first with a cheeky Cheshire Cat smile) and also put your stuff on the table.
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So, you're there first, standing by the spot, in the process of taking off your bag, and she swoops in and drops her books in the spot and smiles?
She's only doing this because you're letting her. People will be rude because they count on other people not calling them out on their rudeness because the victims don't want to be rude.
Be utterly polite, keep your physical distance, give her your most genuine smile, and say, "Sorry, better luck next time," and drop your books on the table and sit in the chair before she can.
Or, you know, could she be flirting with you?
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I know but bleh confrontation. It's a library spot, like getting irritated over it, seems to be stupid and dumb, I just don't like people being rude. As for the flriting thing, I honestly could care less if she was. If I wanted to deal with people who get under my skin and drive me nuts, I'd be with my ex.
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+1 to this, I don't get why some people think of rudeness as a part of mating strategy or whatever. This includes negging or any other kind of pissing off the other person for attention. I'd never love a person who treats me like shit. -_-
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getting irritated about it seems stupid and dumb.
you seem pretty irritated to me.
you would not post this if you weren't
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I was irritated when I wrote the op but now I'm okay.
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but you still got irritated by it.
and you say that you think its dumb.
that doesn't hold up to scrutiny.
you either are pissed off about it.
or you think its dumb and childish.
there is no in between.
if you are in between then you are pissed but got the societal view that you should not be.
which is just stupid.
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I can be upset about a lot of things while realizing that it's pointless and dumb to be irritated about it. I may be special in that regard but it's not difficult to be both. So I don't know how that doesn't hold up for you. I was raised to have manners and be polite, and don't start shit over stupid stuff, there are far to many crazy people about.
Am I going to get into a fight over a seat? No I'm not a child. Am I allowed to be irritated about it? Yes. Can I be an adult and realize that this is by far not the worst thing in the world, and I have other things to worry about then a damn seat? Yes. It's called perspective.
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i'm from a country that invented these stupid social agreements you call manners and politeness.
she is not polite in doing this so she doesnt deserve to be treated like an raw egg.
do you really think a woman in a library will jump to your throat because of a seat.
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She might not, but then again I went to go grab some food about a few months ago and I apparently cut this guy off. I didn't he was going slowly and was about a kilometer and a half away so I took a turn. The guy comes around after I parked and gets out of his car and approaches my car. He starts screaming about how it was his right of way and not mine and everyone is just staring at him, because he is a crazy old man and you know if he had some sort of weapon he would have used it because crazy people be crazy. And I don't have some Crazy person radar. You can never tell.
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so canadians caught the everybody wants to kill me bug from the U.S now.
old guy stabs man in parking lot with an old rusty spoon.
does that sound like something that happens in your neighborhood a lot?
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Lol, I'm hardly paranoid, but I don't want a scene, that's the beginning and end of it. Its not about her killing me or something silly like that I just don't want a scene.
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so you want to change the outcome of a situation without doing anything.
but in all seriousness, the worst thing i imagine she will do, is scream at you like the old guy.
which makes her look very rude in a library full of canadians. and this makes it almost as unlikely as getting stabbed by her.
you could just try to get there first.
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This idea that all Canadians are polite and wonderful is bullshit. You have assholes just like in everyone else. I don't like confrontation. It doesn't mean that I won't confront a person I just pick my battles, this was not the hill to die on. I was there first I just didn't have my bag off and onto the table by the time she got there. I was touching the table.
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i don't know what to reply.
either you tell her that she pisses you off.
or you ignore her and don't let it get to you.
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Maybe you should just mention it (in a friendly way) and maybe even come to an agreement where every other day you get to claim this spot. If the person isn't a jackass, she will agree. If she's a jackass, well then you know there's no dealing with it other than being faster at "claiming" the spot.
Just don't turn this issue into something serious/get angry about it.
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Get there before she does or just get over it and find another spot,or let this drive you nuts and then you go insane reading books in a padded room.
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"Excuse me, I'm terribly sorry, but I am supposed to meet someone on that chair in about 5 minutes. Any chance you could move?"
Or
"Ewe, that's the chair I jzzd on yesterday."
Either of those should work fine.
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Wait for her to leave. Follow her to her home. Break in at night and kill her. Problem solved.
Or you could just stare at her with an unfriendly expression in your face and calmly tell her that you want the spot, that usually works. People rarely says no to the guy that looks like a psycho.
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Smile and call her a bitch silently
This will make it worse but it's worth it
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put some superglue on the chair before she gets there-tell her she can keep it
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Why not talk to her? Not about the chair, but about anything else. Or just grab another chair and put it besides hers.
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maybe she is hitting on you ?
i'm serious. some girls want you too start talking :)
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You could hire an assassin.
Or you could make the creepiest rapeface, and subtly harass her until she goes away.
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Fellow Canadian :O
Well you have to be more assertive. If you let peeps push ya around, they will do it and won't stop till you push back. Explain calmly with a firm voice that this is your seat and you were here first. Do not apologize and don't back down so she knows you mean business.
Or you could be like me and go full ghetto on her ass and make a scene :P.
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All my american friends make fun of me for being Canadian. Also I think that might work next time. Just don't want to deal with crazy people, because if she goes full ghetto on me then what do I do? I'm hardly a fighter.
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You are a lover than ;D.
I'm not sure to be honest. Try to be firm but if things are about to get physical, it is probably not worth engaging any further. Especially if this is out of character for yourself and the last thing you want is to get hurt over a library seat :P.
Best of luck with your studies :D.
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if it happens again, just mumble "bitch" quietly but so that she can hear it and walk away.
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I'm from MN--they tell me I and Canadians have a lot in common (not least because of how I pronounce things). :)
This is either worth a bit of confrontation or it isn't. I'd say decide if it's worth an awkward altercation. If not, let it drop and find another place to study.
But if you think you're in the right, and it's worth a bit of conflict, show up with some sizable books and a pen already in your hand. When you get to the table set them on it. There, you're at the table now. Even if she walks up after that continue to unload your pack onto the table. Don't leave. If needed very calmly and courteously point out that you were there first and that she really ought to find another place. You don't need to get mad. In fact, as your grinning adversary illustrates, it sometimes helps not to. Just calmly decline to treat her intrusion as fair and permissible for as long as it takes.
Frequently, people are as anxious to avoid actual conflict as you are. If it becomes clear to them that rudeness and presumption alone won't suffice they will often back right off.
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Next time she beats you, put on a devilish smile and try to look like you have won and start walking away while always turn around to give that smile again. Then she will think about what you might did to the chair and if she is paranoid enough she will leave^^
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The unfortunate curse of being Canadian, I'm joking mostly. But I honestly do think my general politeness screws me over, I went to the library, in fact still at the library and there was this woman who came in after me and there is this sweet study spot in the library it's perfect, and today I made it there first. She came there second but because she came from a different angle she smiled at me and put her stuff down on the table before I could. It was rude and I didn't say anything because making a scene in a library over a chair is stupid. But it still irritated me enough to bitch about it here. I walked away like an adult, but still tomorrow it'll be the same thing and the day after and the day after. She's beaten me every single time I've come to the library even when I'm there first. I'm carrying like 50 pounds of textbooks. So any suggestions on how to handle it without making a scene? I think it was her laughter today that really pissed me off.
Update:
In the end I never got my spot back, and I'm okay with that. Why? Because that entire area is infested with ants. So when I saw her today I smiled real big, and when the doors opened she rushed to get that spot while I walked to the clean ant free area. She might be perfectly okay with ants crawling up on your hands while you're working, but I'm not. Plus all I had to do was bring an extra hoodie for when it gets cold.
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