GabeN is Abraham Lincoln, Half-Life 3 Confirmed

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I was in a chat with someone earlier just because I was bored and somehow came up with the most brilliant theory ever. Here it is:

Me: Have you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?

Him: Yes?

Me: The Emancipation Proclamation was a presidential proclamation[1] issued by President Abraham Lincoln on January 1, 1863, as a war measure during the American Civil War, directed to all of the areas in rebellion and all segments of the Executive branch (including the Army and Navy) of the United States. It proclaimed the freedom of slaves in the ten states that were still in rebellion,[2] excluding areas controlled by the Union and thus applying to 3 million of the 4 million slaves in the U.S. at the time. The Proclamation was based on the president's constitutional authority as commander in chief of the armed forces;[3] it was not a law passed by Congress. The Proclamation also ordered that suitable persons among those freed could be enrolled into the paid service of United States' forces, and ordered the Union Army (and all segments of the Executive branch) to "recognize and maintain the freedom of" the ex-slaves. The Proclamation did not compensate the owners, did not outlaw slavery, and did not grant citizenship to the ex-slaves (called freedmen). It made the eradication of slavery an explicit war goal, in addition to the goal of reuniting the Union.[4]

Me: That's what Wikipedia says

Me: It's all a conspiracy

Him: So, what does it mean to you?

Me:Wikipedia lies about it, the National Archives lies about it; it's all a lie

Me: He didn't mean to free slaves, they were just trying to show people the truth.

Me: The hidden truth

Him: Which is?

Me: Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. That's what Sherlock said

Me: Eliminate the impossible

Me: Well that's the tipping point

Me: Everything is, technically possible

Me: Even the laws of physics, they are scientific laws, which are just observations that seem to occur in nature

Me: If everything is possible, then we have to face the facts

Me: It's a conspiracy

Me: What conspiracy, you may ask? Well that's the point. We don't know. I've been thinking of some ideas for this conspiracy, but the recurring theme come to my head of Illuminati

Him: Your point becomes clouded when you transition from everything possible to the conspiracy point.

Him: How does this proclamation tie back into a conspiracy?

Me: Well first, it's a famous document. Typically, conspiracies aren't written in a 4th grader's essay. Usually conspiracies are in major documents. Ones that applied a major change

Me: Second, Abraham Lincoln, who wrote the Emancipation Proclamation, was commonly known for conspiracies. I mean, everyone knows he was a vampire hunter, that's obvious, but there's also a conspiracy about his death. Well, third time's the charm, he went for the big conspiracy with his biggest, most important document

Him: That doesn't make it a conspiracy. It just makes it a major document, and furthermore, does theory of yours hold all major documents under this conspiracy ideology?

Me: Read my second point

Him: I did. He wasn't a vampire

Me: You're right, he wasn't. He was a vampire hunter

Me: And look at this third reason

Him: The idea of vampires actual comes from a disease call Porphyria.

Me: In the Gettysburg Address he opened it by saying "Four score and seven years ago..."

Me: 4-7=-3

Me: |-3| = 3

Me: Half-Life 3 confirmed

Me: This overwhelming evidence proves that it was a conspiracy

Him: Or it could mean 47 years

Him: All the evidence you have presented has been easily disproven

Me: Well, he said the Gettysburg address on November 19th

Me: 47/19 -= 2.47

Me: 2*4 = 8

Me: 8-7 = 1

Me: He said the Gettysburg address in 1983.

Me: 1*3 = 3

Me: Half-Life 3 confirmed

Him: And these numbers mean what?

Me: Half-Life 3 confirmed

Me: It proves that GabeN is Abraham Lincoln

Him: I can take most numbers and milky pulsate them to make another number. There is no significance to it

Me: You must be blind to pure reasoning and basic logic, then

Him: Your ideas are based off of vampires and simple minded math

Me: GabeN makes Steam sales, which has a supernatural force that tears people's bank accounts and wallets into shreds. The Emancipation Proclamation wasn't freeing slaves... It was stealing their souls so he could use their slave power to provide that supernatural force. All of those slaves/people working together at one time could indeed produce a force too powerful for man to understand

Him: This is dumb

Him: I'm an open minded person but this is to far

Me: Is being forced into slavery "dumb"?

Him: Sorry dude, I really wish I could believe it

Me: Please listen to me

Him: The facts aren't there though

Me: Yes they are. How blinded can one be?

Him: I am listening

Me: Help me prove that the Emancipation Proclamation is a conspiracy

Me: I shall compensate you

Him: Sorry man

Me: Sheds tear