I'm Yawning...

Breathing hard could be mistaken for snoring. I do that enough when I sleep. And..even if snoring isn't the intended response, it also kind of sounds like meditation. Which will put me to sleep. But the more I think about it, the more I swear it sounds like snoring.

And sadly - no coffee here. But I'd probably be doped up on the sugar & creamer to be tired, then....good suggestion!

Funnily enough, I think coffee really just makes me jittery after a point. It's not that it keeps me up...just makes me jittery. But everything else sounds like bedtime!

And I almost seriously cheered for bedtime. It's time for some time-travel technology where I can take naps...like in kindergarten. Also, for some reason "kindergarten" seems misspelled. I had to spell-check that. How sad for the English Major.

Except rubbing one out... Bad idea. :p

This...is probably the one thing that would work for me. Stuff my honking feet into workout shoes and...workout? Walk in the dead of night? Creep out neighbors by appearing to stalk through the streets... I vaguely remember a childhood cartoon like this.

I think that's only because you have to get up to go pee every hour (or less). It's probably like pregnancy...but generally without the nausea and the responsibility. And the sex part. That doesn't necessarily have to happen, either.

Maybe. Only if I'm amazing. Am I amazing? If so, I need an agent. A better one. THEN, I can have a crisis to explain my sudden decline in ability and (likely) unusually nerdy interests. Show me a basketball player that can talk Doctor Who, Harry Potter & MMORPGs with me and I'll show you that three-pointer I missed in the game. Maybe. If my decline in ability allows. Otherwise...I'll just show shock and awe. And probably beg you to play another sport because...really, basketball? A lot of hot sweaty men invading each other's personal spaces to pass balls around?...wait, that's just about every sport there is.

But I do like sports. Just basketball is possibly one of my least favorites.