I had made my decision. Today was the day I would go find the true meaning of my own life.
I walked to my drawer next to my bed made out of a thick but uncomfortable mattress laying on the hard, cold concrete floor. The mattress smelled slightly a mix of smoke and moisture. I dusted the drawer, then opened it. Inside were a few things that I always kept in there for safekeeping.
A Sig Sauer P229 9mm handgun, a gas mask, some filters, matches, and tobacco.
I hesitated for a few seconds, then took everything. Heck, the chances of ever coming back were next to none.
I then took my heavy coat, put on my army boots. I walked to the bunker door and sighed. I slowly swept the room with my eyes, then I turned my back to the dark bunker room. I put on my gas mask carefully.
This is it.
I opened the door, to a devastated world of darkness and post-apocalyptic destruction. No turning back. I would find out who I was, where was I, and most importantly... What had happened to the rest of the world.
(Kidding aside, I go outside for a walk in the woods regularly. And I also go in town sometimes.)
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it's been a week since the last time i went otside
its depresing
think im a looser
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It's terribly hot in here either. For the past week I've been, occasionally been going out on walks. The first day, I walked past a group of about 6 teenagers (a year or two older than myself) and after I'd walked past them (a fair distance away from them) they all called out my name and waved. I didn't want to stand and stare at them, but I couldn't seem to recognise any of them. So that was odd.
I hate running into other teenagers when I go out. I understand why adults are complaining about them being too scary and that they shouldn't hang out in groups, they can be incredibly intimidating.
But hey, my day was pretty decent, thanks for asking OP.
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Well I only go outside if I know where to go and what's the fastest way to get there.. just to make sure I'm somewhere inside as fast as possible. and some people say I don't have an life.. but I knew that anyway! I don't have an life! I have may lifes! beacause I'm BADASS at Mario bitches why they have to tell it to me so often?! I really don't understand it.. do you?!
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is it true what they say of the outside world? is the sky blue? is there something called a sun that lights everything up? lol
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i hope you guys are being ironic because that's kinda pathetic if you are afraid of/seriously hate the outside
i mean get some friends and go outside it's much better with fellow humans you like
i mean yeah i love staying inside my house but I like to go out and experience life in some fresh air
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That's a shame, people to me can either be ignorant pieces of shit or really good friends, depends on the person. Like you're an atheist for an example, so am I, and I associate myself with other atheists, something we have in common, and then common ground is found, and there is no reason to hate socializing, at least in my case, I understand some people are very well sucked into misanthropy, so I'm not one to decide who likes who, or if at all. :p
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I live in a small town and seems I am the only Atheist, but that is not the issue because the people I work with at one of my jobs are really nice and somewhat understanding towards my choice to not believe in anything and I do not try to force them to give up their believes or say that they are wrong.
My major issue is, a few years back, I was walking home from work and I had two guys stop me at gunpoint and took all my money and my Zune. The fear still lingers and holds on to me where I refuse to leave my house when the sun goes down. I do not trust people. I guess that is what I should have originally wrote, instead of hate.
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Damn dude, I am sorry to hear that, I hope you and your family are and will always be safe, I have never experienced an armed robbery so I cannot relate, however I hope you will one day be about to overcome your fear when life may very well test you on it.
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If I may throw in my opinion, that sounds like a legitimate reason to be afraid. A couple years ago someone tried to abduct me, I was out shopping with another equally petite friend, I didn't know how to get home from where I was, it was dark, my cell phone decided now would be the best time to not find service, etc... Thankfully I was able to alert a store employee who escorted me to my car (more like my friend did; I was nearly useless I was so terrified of this guy), but after that, where was I supposed to go (someone was supposed to meet me to get me home since I'm dense and forgot my directions)? I felt almost "trapped" out in the empty, open dark, and then when the cops did fuck all, I was sure this guy would somehow have followed my car, found my house... and I mean, you can see where my terrified imagination was going, right?
Thankfully, I escaped without any physical harm/loss, but that still fucked me up for months, and I was almost completely agoraphobic at one point, not even liking walking out into my yard, thinking someone was going to "get me" out there, even if it wasn't the same guy.
Point being, I got away and still ended up terrified. You were held up and actually stolen from. I'd certainly be afraid after that. :(
It's still comparing apples to oranges, but I can at least relate to the fear of going out and getting trapped in a similar place (I still panic a bit in stores, particularly at night). Good luck overcoming it - it really is horrible once you've got it in your head that anyone and everyone is going to be like that same horrible person/people.
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Almost all humans suck as beings so I prefer animals or things that aren't alive. Like stones. Or books. Those that don't suck are so few and so far between that it is of no use to look for this sorry lot ( that ultimately will be wiped out anyway).
Also, calling something pathetic just because it differs from your/majority way of thinking... that is so pathetic! Ahem... :P
If I want fresh air I open the windows...they are open most of the time in fact! No need to go outside and risk meeting the mankind.
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majority? the majority here is quite against what I say! pathetic invokes pity, whose to say I take pity in your vulnerability to the outside? there is a difference in taste than their is to phobia, be it those who are agoraphobic(afraid of the outdoors) or those afflicted with anthropophobia(afraid of humans)!
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ah, outside. the place where you get shot by random strangers or get hit by their cars.
now seriously, i'm not a fan of being outside, sure i have some friends and i go to college, but i don't like social interaction. from my point of view, i will be annoyed if someone comes to talk to me out of the sudden, so to follow that line of thinking, others will feel the same (annoyed by my) conclusion i don't speak with anyone and no one speaks to me. it works, most of the time. of course if someone needs help and comes to me to ask for something (you know, college stuff) i will help, i assume that if i ask for help, someone is going to help me too.
what i mean is that i can be social (CHAR 4), i just don't like it since i have to be fake to accomplish it.
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I live literally 20 steps away from the beach and I haven't had a swim yet this summer. I went to the pool which is 10 steps away and got my feet wet for 15 min.
My room is 1.8x3 meter big and I keep the door closed eventho it has no windows and I'm fucking dying in here. I woke up at 2pm and have been sittin here since then, it's nearly 6am.
When I go out once every 4 days my eyes hurt so much I have to look down into the ground for 20 min until I can see with bright light.
Time for bed. Tomorrow more of the same. Maybe next month I'll get kicked out of my house at last.
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I didn't leave home in all day today. Skip job since I was feeling a little sick, wake up 11:45 am, cook, eat, wash dishes, back to bed. Around 4 pm, "ring, ring", gf come home, take care of me for the rest of the day (she's lovely), left like an hour ago. Now I just played some CS:GO, going back to bed in no time.
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Spent the day entirely inside since it was a day off and last time I went out I couldn't breathe. Thanks, nature, for showing you hate me as much as I hate you. <3
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It's pretty hot in my room. I got bored and went outside to see if there's anything interesting happening. Saw a group of teens and couples making out. Went back home and launched CS:GO again. A life of a socially anxious gamer in a nut shell. How was your day?
P.S. Most useless topic of the year.
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