Who am I?

I don't think I have been through the same, so I can't truly empathize. However, I have known friends who have gone through depression, so I urge you to find solace with friends and family. It may be hard, but don't give up. Find a local support group and try to find some you can meet regularly to befriend. Perhaps find a new hobby - alongside gaming ofc ;) - to occupy your time! Maybe craft something for yourself or others you know!
Never give up, and you'll claw your way out of this spiral! To start off with, you have the support of the fair majority of the posters on this discussions. Keep finding more!

Most likely I can't even image what you went through. But if you allowed, I would like to try to understand your situation better. What do you think about people who hurt you? Forgiveness? Hate? Disgust?

My life is a constant fight against many things. Physical, mental, financial, societal, etc. etc. My pains are chronic and constant, in both mental areas and physical areas, and the financial hardships are not going to likely change if I do not get well. I didn't help my country much, since I was too sick to from pretty early on, so my country doesn't really care too much about me. Illnesses, especially mental illnesses, and phantom ones, like lyme, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia for instance, are ignored in the US and elsewhere. Many don't realize how debilitating it can be to have these kinds of issues, but my generalized anxiety and seizure disorder on the mental side alone make my life very hard. Throw more than ten physical ones on top of those and you concoct a nice little ride if you're into masochism.

Not easy sometimes, but I must continue. I have a belief that I will get to try cures for some of my illnesses years from now, if I'm still around. That's what keeps me going anyway. I would suggest finding something you can have some hope in, if possible. That something to believe in can sometimes keep me going. Also like Lukavia is saying, things do always change eventually, sometimes it's quick, or sometimes slower. I guess nothing can be permanent in an impermanent universe. We are in a constant state of change, so I also know that on my really bad days, at least my condition allows for better ones ahead if I can get through these bad ones. Also, through pain comes growth. Without it, we cannot really learn, or build character at all. My thoughts anyway on the matter without writing well beyond the 1000 letter sg limit, or whatever it is.

I feel your pain :'( you need to try something new in your life and forget the past ,meet new friend make a new life and if possible fight for the rest of your life

Eh As a university student whose major is psychology and people who suffered depression , I really suggest you seek help from professionals. Depression is really hard to understand to people who aren’t trained, they really don’t understand the feelings. The weary you feel from deep down and you have to drag yourself to act normal is torture to endure.

Just really wanted you to know that I'm here for you, if you need to talk to someone.

I may be poor, broken inside, utterly lonely and I also don't know what to do with my life other than to just keep going one day at at time, even if I really don't want to 99% of the time, so I'm maybe not the best for a pep-talk, but you'll still get a big hug from me, because even if you're "just some random" person on the internet, I consider you my friend-- and friends are the family you choose big hug

Firstly, never apologize for venting. It's the perfect way to get out the emotions and for the most part this community is kind and are here to listen. I wish I could help other then say i'm sorry about the depression you are feeling and if you need to add someone to vent too, my chat is open.

you are already on my whitelist so I know you are a cool person. Keep your head up

Never give up. There´s already too many assholes on this planet, we need you here to keep the nice-guy ratio up!

Oww... :/ wish I could help... you are truly an awesome member of this community!

It will get better someday, don't give up! Sometimes a tiny bit of luck is all it takes to change everything!

This happens to many, for example, me too. In this world, we do not need anyone. You must learn to overcome your own self, train yourself psychologically. Be strong, even if it's hard for you to get up, make yourself. You can scream, very loud and strong, it will help. Give vent to the inner strength. Inside you is a universe of unreconstructed energy. Happiness in each of us, learn to enjoy life, because it is in small details that you did not notice before: how to see the ray of sun playing in the crowns of trees, how to feel the wind face skin, how to taste a fresh bun with a crust.
I wish you all the best, but remember - the Internet is only an illusion of life, the real one is there outside the door in the street. Do not waste time.

Life is amazing, don't throw it away. Think about the unique opportunity you have to exist in this beautiful universe right now. Try to find something that makes you feel good and keeps you going. Music makes me feel good: https://youtu.be/ej3SmDScjjY

Life sucks a lot of the time doesn't it.... abuse of all kinds some very real and some self imposed. Hardships of all kinds. The only thing we can really do is work on ourselves. We can't give up on ourselves because you never know who you are going to inspire in your life. You never know of all those other quiet and shy people who look up to you and love you. I'd love to say it gets better but the truth is there are going to be times where it's going to be worse and times where it's going to be lots better. You need to take those few good moments and hold onto them. Those will be needed to help you through the hard times. Maybe you should try some meditation. learn to let go of all of your thoughts even if it's for a few moments. Even laying in a pool floating can be a form off meditation.

By the time I was six months old I had gone through enough abuse that I had lost vision in one eye. I've been through a lot of different abuse etc but losing vision in one eye is the only important thing in this post. So seeing as I had vision in only one eye I had to figure out a way to overcome and adapt to that disadvantage. I will say that it was easier to overcome than someone who might have it happen later in life but there were still challenges. Also lots of opportunities to grow as an individual. So if you can look for a way to make these problems your strengths that help you grow. As an individual and a person.

Stay strong lady you've already made it through so much which shows just how strong you are. A lot off ssh cares about you and you inspire some off us to be better people by supporting something greater than we are out by giving us the strength to talk about some of the things that have been festering inside of us.

Always remember someone out there loves you.

I'm not too fancy with words, so I brought this:

View attached image.

Just thought this... there is a lot of beauty in things needing fixed but loving them the way they are...

View attached image.

It is always darkest before the dawn, and every rock can hide a geode.

Think of the lessons of our ancestors, of their striving and their refusal to surrender to the times when life seemed insurmountable.As certain as the mountains still stand, so will you weather this joyless desolation, this emptiness of the soul. You can raise your head proudly and remember that you have survived this long and that thriving is not so great a leap!

So life's been treating you unfair? Well, welcome to the team. I really hope that it gets better, at least for you, and that you'll be complete once again. I won't waste any of your time with my story (well, at least not here for sure), but I wanted to say this. Hang in there.