A Cat’s Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, I’d killed the last mouse
I awoke from a cat-nap and prowled through the place,
For someone to play with or something to chase
Tucked up in their bedrooms the humans all slept,
As out through the premises I casually crept
From the edge of the mantel the stockings were hung,
But a foot or two higher than I’d ever sprung
They’d left out some cookies arranged on a plate,
And a big glass of soy milk, a beverage I hate
In a pot in the parlor they’d propped up a pine,
A toy-laden scratching post that suited me fine
But I’d already broken each low-hanging ball,
And trashed any ornaments that happened to fall
My cat-door was shut tight, the woodbin was stocked,
The plants had been brought in - the windows were locked
On the lawn was that white stuff that freezes my paws,
I’ll cough up fifty furballs before that stuff thaws
The chipmunks were hiding in their smelly holes,
Rehearsing spring raids with the moles and the voles
The last of the geese were flying off to Florida,
To make some golf course a little bit horrider
Why does the cat hate soy milk?
There's something nice about the simplicity of a cat's life.
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