Thanks! Appreciate the giveaway!

Thanks :)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the sky, and tell me what you see." Watson replied: "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson replied: "Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent."

Thanks. :)

90% of people ends dishwashing saying:

• F**k, frying pan...

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?

At selection committee:

• Father's job?
• Father is dead.
• But who was he?
• A Tuberculosis Carrier.
• But what he was doing?
• He was coughing.
• But what he was doing to make a living? He couldn't live just by coughing.
• That's why I already said he is dead.

Two cats walked into a bar. The bar suddenly turned into a Pokemon and fled. Cats evolved into dinosaur, the end.

An infinite sequence of mathematicians walks into a bar. The first one says "I'll have one beer". The second one says "I'll have half a beer". The third one says "I'll have a quarter of a beer". The fourth one says "I'll have an eighth of a beer". The barman pours hands them two beers and says "Fuck off".

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“Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off.”

"Do you know why policemen always go in pairs? It's specialization: one knows how to read, the other — how to write."

5? Thank you
I don't know any good jokes, so:
The best thing about a UDP joke is that I don't care if you get it.

Thanks.

Thank you!

What's best about twenty seven year old girls?
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.
.
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There's twenty of them :)

thanks~

Thanks!

Thanks!

thanks

ty. A blind man walks into a bar... Then into a bartender. Then into a table.

Pole, German and Russianin go to heaven.

God asks, what's that smell?

German says: It's Pole.

Russianin says: It's Pole.

Pole says: Yes, it's me.

gracias!

One day a florist went to a barber shop for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'Thank You' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a member of Congress came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The member of Congress was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen members of Congress lined up waiting for a free haircut!
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of the United States and the scumbag politicians who run it.

Thanks