Man walks into a bar... "Ouch!"

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A book never written: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Reading

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ty

It's two sausage in a stove ... \o/

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Two cows were eating grass. One said "Moo". The other says "Funny, I was about to say the same thing!"

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"What would you like?" says the barman.

"What would I like?" says Bob. "A bigger house, more money and a more attractive wife."

"No," says the barman, patiently. "I meant what do you want?"

"To win the lottery, for my mother-in-law to die and for my child to be born healthy!"

"What's it to be?" says the barman, less patiently.

"A boy or a girl, I don't care."

"You misunderstand me," says the barman, impatiently, "I only asked what you want to drink."

"Oh," says Bob, "I see. Why didn't you say so? What have you got?"

"Nothing at all," says the barman. "I'm perfectly healthy."

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Old man saw a guy from another window with terrorist mask
He called the police and then police saw a nigg'a !

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

Duck walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll ya have?" The duck asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" Bartender says "No." The duck leaves. The duck comes back the next day, says to the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender says "No." The duck leaves, comes back the next day and asks the bartender "Got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No and if you ask me again I'm gonna nail your bill to the bar!" Duck leaves, comes back the next day and asks the bartender "Got any nails?" The bartender replies "No." and the duck asks "Got any grapes?"

I'm not a joke kind of guy, but thanks for the giveaway.

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Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

:O

Is on reddit for free.

What's green and invisible?
That Cabbage POINTS BEHIND YOU

(My 5 year old favorite ;D )

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Dziękuje :)