Copied this from /r/jokes. Too funny not to share:

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words.

She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect.

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

Thank you

Thanks!

Thank you very much for the gift! I wish you a nice day =)

Also, sorry, I'm not good with jokes:

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me. Source