Don't mind me, I'm just here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I'm all out of ass ... shit. If you just say "thanks", I will assume you are asking me to tell you a dad joke.
Remember kids: Don't do drugs, make good choices and stay in school.
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said Chip. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
Thanks! And let me tell you one:
You are American when you go to the bathroom, and you are American when you get out, but what are you when in the bathroom? European
Strictly speaking as a Canadian you are an American too, it's just that over time in colloquial speech people started to refer to U.S.Americans simply as Americans and it's nowadays mostly used this way. :)
A vicar was stopped by the police at night for not having a back light.
The vicar says, I don’t need a back light, the Lord is with me.
The policeman says, “Two on a bike as well, that’s another offence.
How many more user reports would you like today sir? ;P
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thanks
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What kind of car does Yoda drive?
A To-Yoda
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wow :o
it works
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wow i also won a game
is that black magic ?
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No, just hacks.
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thanks
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Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.
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Do your best
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One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said Chip. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
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waowww
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I told you it wasn't good ;-;.
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"thanks"
Make me smile !
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Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
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Nice one ! :D
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Thanks! And let me tell you one:
You are American when you go to the bathroom, and you are American when you get out, but what are you when in the bathroom?
European
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I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
But I'm a Canadian D:. We haven't been annexed yet :p.
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Strictly speaking as a Canadian you are an American too, it's just that over time in colloquial speech people started to refer to U.S.Americans simply as Americans and it's nowadays mostly used this way. :)
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yet, indeed :P
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thx
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5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.
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I'm liking those jokes, so... thanks. :D
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What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.
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You, sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.
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thanks
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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummybear.
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thanks
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I’m only friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
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Thanks
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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
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How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”
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And this is why the other parents don't ask you to drive their kids to school anymore :p.
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I'm not a parent.... thank anyways
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thanks
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
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Just here for the dad jokes.
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You didn't say thanks so only butt jokes for you.
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I like the file name for that pic.
"Is this not why you're here?"
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Thanks for the giveaway!
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What concert costs only 45 cents? 50 Cent ft. Nickelback
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thanks
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I have kleptomania. Sometimes when it gets really bad, I take something for it.
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I'm loving these jokes
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thanks :p
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If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest?
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Thank you --
I love dad jokes, want it too <3
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I gave all my dead batteries away today. Free of charge.
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hahaha nice! xD
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thanks... for the dad jokes
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I'm thinking about getting a new haircut. I'm going to mullet over.
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Thanks~
Give me your dad jokes about gaming if you can :p
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What does a gorilla wear to the beach? A Donkey thong.
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thanks
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I was once interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.
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This comment was deleted 6 years ago.
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What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.
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Nice, thanks!
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Thanks
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Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.
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Thanks Cjcomplex :P
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What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire
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A vicar was stopped by the police at night for not having a back light.
The vicar says, I don’t need a back light, the Lord is with me.
The policeman says, “Two on a bike as well, that’s another offence.
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That one is pretty good xD.
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Thanks! :D
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I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
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Thanks!
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Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
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Thank you very much for the joke in advance!
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I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, Sorry we don't serve food here.
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