I've been taking care of my mother for 7 years. I've finally graduated, but somehow I'm crying sad tears more than happy tears.
-My mom survived diabetes for 20+ years.
-2 heart failures.
-Pneumonia
-A broken shoulder.
-Kidney failure for 2 years.
-Covid-19
-A war
-Domestic violence from my dad
-Brought up two successful boys (One with his own set of heart problems and asthma)
-She wasn't a perfect person. She didn't take great care of herself and she pushed family away, except for her one son who was grateful to her care.
On Thanksgiving Day 2023, she passed away, quietly in her sleep as her suffering ended. She refused to be dependent on an oxygen tank. I painfully told her doctor to adhere to her final wishes.
I remember when I was around 7-8 years old, I had a nightmare that I was falling. When I opened my eyes, I had rolled off the bed and my mother was there to catch me. I'll never forget what a kind and caring mother you were. No matter how much you embarrassed me by climbing onto my school bus to give me my lunch. You were always there for me. Sickness and illness may have made you depressed, lonely, and angry at times, but I know deep down you were the same mom who took care of me when I was down with the flu. I could hardly breathe with my asthma, but you rubbed my back every night so I could breathe and become the man I am today. Thank you mom. You gave me life and possibly saved me countless times. I'm glad I could repay you even just a little bit of what you did for me. Good night.
“There are only four kinds of people in the world.
Those who have been caregivers.
Those who are currently caregivers.
Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.”
― Rosalyn Carter
Please remember to take care of yourselves and your loved ones while you still can.
Sorry for your loss. Hang in there.
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Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Appreciate the words of comfort.
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I'm sorry about your loss. May you find comfort and peace during this difficult time.
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Thank you for reading. Just taking it one day at a time.
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Thank you for this giveaway!
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So sorry for your loss ❤️
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Thank you for reading. Appreciate the message.
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It never is easy for those left behind, especially around the holidays... so I am sincerely sorry for your loss. However, I am happy to know that her suffering has come to an end. ❤️
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Thank you. Yeah, I used to hear how tough holidays were for some folks. Now, I'm living it myself. I'm also happy to know her suffering was not prolonged. Thank you for talking about this tough subject with me! It helps.
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You're welcome. Feel free to reach out if you need somebody to talk to.
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Thank you. I really appreciate it. For now, I'm okay. I think it's just a bit of trauma from my childhood about openly crying. Men in our family are just expected to take it like a man. I can't cry in public or to a friend/family. My only outlet is really writing alone and just allowing myself to release that pent-up emotion. I'm just happy my mom is no longer suffering.
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There is no right way or wrong way to grieve when you have lost someone you love. My prayers to you and your family... You have more people on SG who can most certainly empathize because we've gone through it too. Hang in there!
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True. Everyone goes through the stages of grief differently. I'm very fortunate to have found this community. I've met so many great people through here.
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I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm sure she was indescribably happy that you stayed by her side. My heart goes out to you and your family.
My mother fought through cancer and countless surgeries last year. We got the news yesterday that it had returned, but we don't know the prognosis yet. It sucks, our mothers don't deserve this, but we all play the hand we're dealt and do what we can for those around us.
I, for one, plan to make Christmas (which also happens to be her birthday) as cozy and amazing for her as I can this year. Much love to you, stranger!
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Thank you. I really appreciate it.
My heart goes out to you and your mother as well. It's so unfortunate that she's had to go through all those surgeries and treatments. It really wrecks a person from the inside out to kill the cancer cells.
I hope with all my heart that this cancer diagnosis is treatable and never returns again. You're amazing for trying your best to make Christmas and her birthday a memorable one! All the best to you and your family.
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Thanks for the chance
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This hits too close to home, I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope you have people around you who help ease your mourning.
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I don't know what you're going through, but I hope whoever it's affecting a swift recovery. I'm thankful everyday for the people I have around me. Much love to you and your family in your difficult situation!
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🤗
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Thanks
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Thanks~
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Your mom was a fighter, that much is clear. Women, esp. older ones, tend to be very resilitient and are able to find positive outlook where others may see none.
I am sure she was a fine person and it was sort of a blessing to be able to go on your own terms and being able to say your goodbyes. May she rest in piece and forever live on in your memories.
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Thank you. Yes. She was indeed a fighter to the very end.
Unfortunately, we didn't all get to say our goodbyes. My immediate family members were in another country and in another city when my mom passed away. And I was bedridden with the flu. As the sole caregiver, I might have had to endure her health decline, but I think it helped me come to terms with her life ending much easier than either my father who was in another city or my brother who was in another country. Unfortunately, only the nurses at the hospital were able to see her off. That guilt haunted me. However as my close friend assured me, we'd be lucky to be surrounded by our family when we pass on. People every day die a lonely death in an accident or from violence. I'm just glad for my mom it was a painless death in the hospital.
I will try to remember the happier memories with her.
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Thanks!
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So sorry for your loss, keep up good spirits and all good wishes!
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Thank you. I really appreciate it. Please take good care of yourself as well.
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I’m sorry to hear. You’re way stronger than I am.
Try to be kind to yourself when you can.
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Thank you. There are many different kinds of strength. I'm sure you're resilient in your own way.
I will. It will take some time to get used to. Please remember to be kind to yourself as well.
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Rest peaceful OP's mom and hang in there OP <3
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Thank you. I really appreciate it. Hope you are able to find peace in your life as well.
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I used to be a much more active poster here but I've had a rough couple of years, although I very much still hope I'll have the free time to waste in this community in the future. With stuff that's gone on in my own life I can certainly sympathise with your situation and you have my deepest condolences. It's an important message though, look after your loved ones while you can, it will always be its own reward.
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Thank you for taking the time to write and share about yourself. I'm sorry to hear about your last couple of years. I can somewhat understand that feeling as well of losing touch with a community you belonged to. We have friends. Time goes by and some never return. I hope things get better for you and you have more free time again. Please remember to look after yourself so you can still be there for your loved ones.
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Thanks for the giveaway!
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Thanks :3
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read this till the end with tears in my eyes. Life is so complicated. Sorry for your loss. You are strong man. I wish you all the best and I believe you will be warrior just like your mom and push away all difficulties in your path
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Thank you. Life is certainly complicated. I hope to one day be as strong as her. Hoping you are able to navigate life's complications as well. Fight on.
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Thank you too. I really appreciated
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I'm so sorry that you have to endure this.
Mere words cannot easily describe how much it hurts to lose someone you love even knowing their flaws and troubles. Or the heartache and the loss. Everything will remind you of her. Everything will make the pain feel fresh like someone is repeatedly reaching in to your chest to rip out your heart over and over again. The dumbest things may as well: something so small and innocuous that normally you wouldn't think twice about until suddenly you feel the wave crash over you.
And as trite and dumb as it sounds: it does get better. It gets easier to think about her and not burst into tears. It gets easier to see something she enjoyed and enjoy it yourself. To share a story about her. But it will take time even though it feels like the pain will stretch on for forever.
I'm glad that you had each other and that you have fond memories to look back on.
I hope that the final preparations - such as the viewing or wake, the funeral whatever sort it is - are as smooth and drama-free as possible. And I wish you luck bearing with the loss.
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Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you've also navigated your own loss. I really appreciate your understanding and guidance. Thankfully, the final preparations are over. It has gotten a little easier to talk about now. Especially, since I was fortunate to spend Christmas with my older brother and his wife. We talked a lot and shared our own anguish. Thanks again for reading and giving such a heartfelt response. I hope you and your family had a drama-free Christmas and New Years.
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Thanks for this giveaway! ^_^
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I'm very sorry for your loss.
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Thank you.
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That must have been a tough end to the year, but she is free of suffering now. Thank you for the GA and all the best for 2024.
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Thank you. You as well. Wishing you a great 2024.
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sorry for your loss Alvin, you too take care of yourself
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Thank you.
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lots of love to you and your family. hope the healing is swift and that you have a good new year. 💜
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Thank you. Hope you also have a good new year.
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