Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I liked to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the king of DRM called Steam

In west Seattle born and raised
On the computer is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all nerdy
And all shootin some demons in a game called doom
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin makin' violent video games
My mom saw one little bit and she got scared
She said 'You're gonna throw away that game or I'ma beat yo ass'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she threw out my game, and beat my ass anyway
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me a whip with the thicket
I put my ipod on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Teacher's hot as hell, and dat ass
Is this what the people of Steam play like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
I hoped for a dream that'd might never come true
But then Gabe Newell showed up and went zippity zoo!
It didn't seem right but I didn't care, I had a nice cool glass of red apple ale
Gaben said yo'ho! Steam Sale!

I pulled out my old card and put in a new one
And I yelled to bestbuy "Yo you guys suck ass!"
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the king of a DRM called Steam.