Last hours Be Mine 2

He's just trying to be alarmist so that we go to the website and buy the product and unlock Scratches, which looks like a cool game by the way...

But, well, here's how you do it a little bit better...

Old-timey style:
"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! 'Tis a chance you certainly do not want to miss! Cures what ails ya! Are you feeling bored, out-of-touch with the modern technologies? Does that make you feel insecure, and sometimes even depressed? Do you long to be back in the game? Look no further than one - that's right, one! Reads very fast! - line below this one! Introducing the Be Mine 2 Bundle! It's the second edition, and your instincts just tell you it's that good if they've been through two editions! This spring, purchase the Be Mine 2 Bundle at a low, low price of only 4$. That's right! For a guarantee of countless hours of fun, that's a gift!

Hey, why not gift it to your loved one? After all, a family can't be perfect if she won't Be Mine - or Be Yours in that case! And for every 2$ sent, YAWMA Incorporated will give one meal to the poor thanks to a charity! After all, can't they Be Yours too?" [I was gonna use another word but... you know...]

Hip-appealers (think '90s... that's when advertisers realized kids have money):
"You! Yeah, you, the cool kid! Don't you know the Humble Bundle died, like, two months ago? What are you waiting for? Don't be a square! Be There! Be Mine! That's right - all the cool kids are buying the Be Mine 2 Bundle this spring, and for good reasons... the Be Mine 2 Bundle offers you 5 - count them! - 5 great games at the low, low price of 4$. There's also music guaranteed to make you the life of the party, and two comic books which you can give to your square friends so that next time you go together to the movies, the other cool kids will see who's the cool guy in the room - You! Not the squares reading books!

So what are you waiting for? Get yourself a copy of the Be Mine 2 Indie Bundle Right now! It's been endorsed by Skippy MacSkipJohnson, the World Video Game Champion! With a title like that, you know he's cool! You'll also get a Pin's with his name to wear everywhere you go!"

Sexline type:
"Hey baby, I love it when you push my buttons... and for a limited time only, you can Be Mine... or I can Be Yours, the Bundle works in 2 ways. Yeah, that's right, it's a bundle of joy. There's a lot of games, inside... even stuff we can play together, like the super-sexy sounding Killing Floor. Oh, yeah... You can also give one to your friends, and maybe we'll be able to share the fun... so don't wait any longer, and join me. I know you want to."

Extreme Advertising.com:
Okay no let's not do that. Let's do the "our caviar is good because it costs 1000$ per egg".

"Nostradamus said that once in a lifetime, an opportunity arises for the patient being. We believe this opportunity is now. For a limited time only, we want to give back to the customers that were ours for so long. Introducing the Be Mine 2 Bundle. We've selected only the premium ingredients for a perfect recipe, worthy of the best chefs in the whole wide world. In fact, we hired them just for this. Straight from the source of Mount Fujiyama, bathed under the guiding light of Omicron Persei VIII - a planet which brings good fortune - we've made the best Bundle yet. And if you believe in that too, well, you'll Be Mine, won't you? The starting price is at 100$, because only the finest should not have to make this decision. Our great country was based on this, and so is our bundle".

Now let the class-action suits roll in...

Disclaimer: I'd turn these into pictures - some sort of billboard ad, I guess - and share them on the web, but there's less than 30 hours, it's not really worth it. If you're an artist or want to photoshop something, please do. The only licence is the following: you may not claim ownership over the above italic sentences ("Advertisements"), you must credit http://waterfalltranslations.com as the sole creator of these Advertisements and you may not make any sort of monetary profit (directly and/or inderictly) from these Advertisements".

I know, boring legal stuff that's not gonna change anything... I don't even think it's possible to copyright sentences like that - but when in doubt, go with the safe option.

I am ◕ ‿ ◕ of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward... you will service... ◕ ‿ ◕...

Click linafaceeye. Yes, like that :D

Friendship is magic (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

The final goal is to introduce another goal.

What does it matter? It's not gonna be reached anyway.

Turns out it's a video game that could not be more obscure if it tried, but it's a Steam key so it brings all the boys to the yard

or whatever

lol same, I thought it was an album