Glad to see someone supporting this cause. I have known quite a few people who have been suicidal at one point or another, but it's a very misunderstood topic, just like any mental health.
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This is not the best GA, to be honest it's far from it, but I wanted to create it anyway. Why? I don't know, don't judge me!
This GA doesn't really help or fit with the message with this topic, but I said I would bump this topic with a GA and here it is:
http://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/5ak5t/
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Hello,
May i ask why am I blacklisted?
I have no idea what have i done wrong.
Would you please guide me?
Thanks
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So I posted in this months ago but felt the need to post again given recent events. Forgive me for the long post, I'll tl;dr it after.
This past October has not been the best month for me. A lot of stress came down on me, I isolated myself from a lot of my friends for a while, my family was what seemed to be up to our necks in money problems. And a lot of that cascaded down on me from my mother putting constant pressure on me, pointing out my faults at almost every opportunity. I had a panic attack over something I knew she was going to be upset at me about, and decided to do some dangerous shit I had been doing on and off previous to this: mix tylenol/anxiety medicine (that was not mine) with alcohol and going to bed. To my disappointment I ended up waking up the next morning anyway. And when the day I was panicking over came and what I expected happened, something in me snapped.
I took 50 pills (painkillers/narcotics/more anxiety medicine) that I had stashed away with about two shots of vodka. I posted a note to my friends on tumblr, sat at my desk tired as all fuck and waited to pass out and die. Though somehow, I had apparently gone downstairs for something (I ended up on the couch somehow) and my dad noticed me walking really wobbly. My mum (an ER tech) called me and I admitted that I took a bunch of pills. They kept me on the phone with one of her coworkers to try to keep me awake--all I remember is telling him what I took and that I wanted to die. In the midst of this, I had been having back and forth text conversations with someone I never imagined would try to help--my ex. I was also texting a very close friend of mine and the guy that I love; a lot of the early texts while I was being driven to the ER were a jumbled mess. I was crying, throwing up, yelling at my mum that it was all her fault, and that I just wanted to die.
I ended up spending four days in the hospital--one in the ER, one admitted to the hospital, and two in the psych ward. During all this, I had many friends (and even people who were just acquaintances on tumblr) messaging and texting me to see how I was, wishing me well, sending good vibes and support. My closest friend and the guy I love even came to visit me the first night I was at the psych ward, which I'm sure was a lot to ask because it was kind of a scary place at first (my friend even brought me snacks and comics to read). When I was first sent to the ER, I called work and told my manager I overdosed and since then she had been calling me and leaving messages on my phone, saying how worried everyone at work was (I couldn't have my phone in the psych ward so I only found this out later). Even my brother--who I have a kind of one-sided estranged relationship with--would call me daily when I was at the psych ward. I even managed to make a friend while I was there. Two of the nurses there said they wished I could stay because they were so fond of me and how I acted with the other patients.
I was just discharged earlier today and everyone who was asking about me expressed their relief about hearing that I'm out. I have anti-depressants to take now, I'm going to be seeing a psychologist about coping with stresses at home, and even my brother and sister--who both live in California--are flying down tomorrow so that we can talk as a family to try and either find a safer environment for me or make our home a less stressful place. But being back out, having been questioned multiple times by doctors and psychiatrists, I realize now that my decision was rash. Talking with them, it became evident that I still wanted to live, that I had things that I still wanted to do. It became evident just being in the hospital how many people cared about me--even the people I thought either forgot about me or didn't care either way (I posted about being back on tumblr and the tumblr acquaintance messaged me her relief and happiness over me being discharged). I've realized shit gets hard, but there's a lot of stuff out there that make it worth it. Dark times can seem scary when you're purposefully blocking out the rest of the light around you. Help is available, you just gotta open up to it.
tl;dr - I attempted suicide and reflected a lot after seeing the response of people around me who cared about me and wanted me to get better. Life's hard, but please remember that you've always got people around to help you through it, whether you know it or not.
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Thank you for sharing your story and so glad to see things are looking up.
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This was a tough post to read, and I'm sure it wasn't easy to share something this personal with us, but I'm so glad that you found the will to pull through and realized that even through hardships, life is still worth living. There will always be highs and lows, but I hope you'll never feel that desperation again.
“Only in the darkness can you see the stars.” --Martin Luther King Jr.
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HUGS
http://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/0dtPN/soul-gambler-dark-arts-edition
http://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/DgeoT/volt
http://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/OXszQ/dark-scavenger
http://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/qRurs/fabula-mortis
http://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/49OOY/melissa-k-and-the-heart-of-gold-collectors-edition
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I guess it's finally time to come to this thread? I've avoided it for a really long time because I felt I couldn't really say anything appropriate, but I made a gib that I don't really know what to do with, and this is a good thing to do with it. http://www.steamgifts.com/giveaway/5xFiJ/
Anyway, the rest of this comment is gonna be bloggy like usual.
I made it okay through October. My Depression and suicidal thoughts always get worse through October and November, and now that i don't have anyone to talk to anymore, I was pretty sure I wasn't gonna make it through, but I did without even a suicide attempt. I'm worried about the next few months but hopefully I don't even know. I don't know whether I want to strong enough to actually kill myself, or if I want life to be good enough that I don't want to die. I need to figure this out soon, so i can either focus on ending it, or getting a job and going to college.
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Silentish bump for new problems that I'm too tired to rant about.
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:(
Everything will turn out ok in the end. If everything isn't ok, then its not the end yet.
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Too much trouble focusing, even on talking about myself so bump.
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Back to cutting and half suicidal action, I can't fucking do this thing. I'm overcoming my fears, hopefully the next one isn't pain .
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A couple more to support the cause :)
Strider
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
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After going through a recent event where someone very close to me was feeling depressed and suicidal, thought I'd make some GA's to get a point across. If you are feeling this way, there is help, and people out there want to help. You're not alone and you are cared about. If you are not of this state of mind, realize that you could be the difference between them getting help, or doing the unthinkable. You will most likely never know how, who, or how many you helped, but that should make no difference. It just matters that you were there. Go and be the best you that you can be. If anyone out there needs someone, i accept all steam friend requests and will reply as soon as i see your message.
Try and keep the thread alive for a while so that more can see it. May i suggest pictures of cats? Anything really.
I'm going to attempt to update this thread once again once a week, between Friday and Sundays.
Link to last page
Change log;
EDIT: http://www.steamgifts.com/discussion/0evEo/an-update-and-moving-forward
EDIT: If you choose to bump with a GA, especially a higher level, and wish for it to be featured on the active GA portion, I suggest a week or longer running length. It can sometimes be a number of days before I can edit this to add new GA's. It's also super helpful if it's in
formatI'm switching to a table format. Not required, but it would let me update the main post more, as it currently takes a while, which means less updates.
EDIT: Total number of GA's added to thread as of last update- 1687+
Note that this is likely much higher. From pages 54-94, I assume all trains to contain only 3 games, while they are likely much higher in number.
GA log of past record
I'm no longer going to keep a detailed log of past GA's. It was simply too much work.
The following, continuously updated, users are the real VIP's of this thread. They have contributed to the development of this ever growing thread, either through exceptional giveaways, an exceptional amount of giveaways, or relentlessly bumping the topic, even when it is/was in a period of disarray, and I wanted to thank them for it, not to cheapen anybody else that has contributed, but to celebrate them for it. Treat them kindly.
SquireZed♥ba2♥TreeB♥CCL666♥hotbullet8♥Dragomania♥Oppenh4imer♥Student123♥AV1♥Kartyl♥Lalwende♥MysticAarrgg♥
YunieRozier♥Noxco♥Nightshifty♥Nerazul♥skunlte♥PROcrastiNATION
ACTIVE GA's
This thread has reached it's limit and has been moved to a reboot
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