Do I sound bat-s**t crazy?
Hi there my friend. I do comprend what you're going through. I ain't gonna say everything is going to be fine but just know that you're not a waste. You did do 55 GA's to that is nice
Joke aside the 20 year old lack of motivation and impression to not fit in this world, I kinda get it. Went through it and don't know if I'm fully over with.
I hope you'll find something that you'll genuinely find interesting enough and motivating enough. For myself I wasn't and still isnt my job but having it enables me do to some other thing on my spare time.
hang in there =)
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Maybe insted games... you should draw anime? Sounds like you know what it's all about xD
But seriously - you are weird... And... So what? xD Try to change your weirdness into something positive and don't think about yourself as a waste :)
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Yeah, I've thought about trying that, I used to draw a lot, but that was mostly monsters taking inspiration from Pokemon and Digimon and stuff. I've never really been good at drawing 'cute' and stuff. And I've already learned quite a few things about programming, since that's what I figured would fit me best.
Also, you reminded me of an Anime I need to remember to watch, lol.
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She's so cute, what is she from?
Actually, I could probably do a reverse image search, I always forget, lol.
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Karen, from kiniro mosaic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkMohOUC6Ok
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I'm probably just mental, but I would give anything to be in an Anime and be able to do cool crap like laying my life on the line to beat the crap out of monsters and stuff to protect cute girls, and maybe have a cute girl whose hair I can pet and stuff... It really does make me sound crazy, doesn't it?
But anyways, knowing that that could never happen tears me up inside and makes it hard to do pretty much anything/everything...
Just wait for virtual reality to evolve further. Someone is bound to make virtual reality MMORPG inspired by anime one day.
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Yeah, I mean, I think I remember hearing about someone making a SAO VR game, which would be super nice. It won't be like the Anime (which I personally wouldn't mind having that Virtual Life become my real life), but it seems like a cool idea.
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happy bday in advance!
regarding anime... :|
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"It really does make me sound crazy, doesn't it?"
I have walked around in Akihabara, there is no human being on this planet anymore that can seem crazy to me. (And I don't mean this in a negative way actually)
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I've only been there in Akiba's Trip. I've read about it, though, it sounds pretty awesome.
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I'm probably just mental
maybe have a cute girl whose hair I can pet and stuff
well.... when you put those two phrases together.............
hehe, Happy Birthday!
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Yeah, lol, writing this I felt like I was coming out of the closet or something...
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Im sure one day you meet a cute real girl that will be your cuddling anime 4life! Just have patience, life is really a long thing if you dont push it to the limit right away.... I also had big problems with finding my place in life but then time passed and I found myself pretty integrated into society without much effort really, we all just need to find a special soul to communicate, with whom communication goes easily as if you were always togather, like know each other forever... I wish you this, and Im sure everything will be allright!
You also dont need to find motivation to do what you dont like - its a contradiction in itself! We find motivation naturally in something we really want, not by artificially searching for it. Also I recommend everyone to read Castaneda's books))
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Yeah, there was one girl during High School that I loved talking to more than anything, but long story short, I messed up somehow (guess I was too honest telling her about my suicidal phase and how talking to her helped) and after she tried to file a restraining order against me is when I dropped out. I still miss her, but I guess if I've been able to be interested in real girls before, it could happen again.
Thanks for the good wishes!
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Someone needed to or tried to file a restraining order against you?
You need professional help, seriously.
It's one thing being down in the dumps because you don't know what to do in life but suicidal thoughts etc.?
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I haven't been suicidal for a while, that was before I dropped out of High School, I did see some doctors and am on medications now, and they seem to be helping somewhat, but when she would talk to me I actually felt happy, instead of just the "not suicidal" I've been feeling since. And the restraining order never actually made it through the court since I posed no threat or whatever, but I guess she felt like that's what it would take for me to realize I'd never be able to talk to her again and whatnot, and I suppose she was right...
But yeah, those are other stories...
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Oh well, sorry to hear that. Hope you're feeling better. I know those "down" phases can be a bummer and really long.
At least here there's some things to cheer one up ;)
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My older sister is turning 22 in November, too. She just got engaged the other day, which is another weird thought... Like I still remember when we were kids playing "Hey you, Pikachu!" and stuff on N64...
I guess she was kind of like me, since she cried when she found out Pikachu wasn't real, lol. (Or so the story goes, I mean, I was like 2 or 3 so I wouldn't remember...)
Thanks for the reassurance, too. :)
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Thanks, but I'm pretty sure I am weird. Maybe that's what makes me not weird, though?
Since everyone is weird in their own way, it's only normal if you're weird?
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In a very similar situation,don't worry,you're not alone.
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I hope you're able to have a happy birthday, and thank you for the giveaways.:) Take care, and have a wonderful weekend.
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I do too, haven't really enjoyed my last few birthdays. Mostly because all that seems to be different is that I have to talk to a lot of relatives and they usually ask what I'm up to and stuff... lol
But my family's taking me to a Ramen place I've been wanting to try for a while, so hopefully it's good.
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You get right your own anime practice art then make a story bout yourself and do all the things you want through that then if you get famous for it I'm sure the fantasy won't hurt so much we all have things we wanna do not in the realms of possibility just have to try and get as close as you can through other means GOODLUCK. In-case your wondering I'd love too destroy all existence but sadly I can't and it would be kinda selfish of me if I could.
Fuck forgot to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY YO!
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That's a pretty good idea, it's pretty much one of the reasons I wanted to make games, too, lol. And there are times I wish I could just destroy people, too, lol. And thanks for the good wishes. :)
P.S. If any of these GAs interest you, you're off my BL now. I don't remember what got you on there, along with a lot of the others... I need to work on that...
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congratz on 20!
little friendly advice: start doing some random hobbystuff with other people. Anything really. Sports, arts, hiking in nature, skydiving... whatever make you active and out of your comfort zone (but not too much). That way you'll get in touch with new things and new people and that'll spark your interest in things and maybe even set you on your path to your future.
good luck!
AND/OR: give yourself a year or so to dive into anime completely to check out if it is what you want!
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Thanks, I still have a hard time believing I'm going to be 20, though...
And I really should start getting back into Parkour, which I did for a while before I got really depressed and all.
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Yeah, I think I might try working as a part-time package handler for UPS (I think it'd probably only be for this season), it does kind of scare me a little (I really don't do well with any sort of pressure), but it sounds easy enough. And it pays pretty well, so it'd probably be a good start.
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Nah, I don't think I've heard of that. The story behind it happened, like, 10 years ago, though, not sure when the skit was.
I just had a friend (we pretty much seemed like brothers) who used possumfeet as their PSN username, so my Dad and I came up with AwesomePossum123, which got shortened to AwesomePossum50 moving to Xbox (since 123 ended up being too long), and that's stuck with me since.
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My life is probably as fucked as yours maybe worst, but I will never give up, no matter what, you should do the same.
the things I want the most are impossible...
Nothing is impossible, you just have to believe in yourself ;)
Happy birthday and good luck!
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I couldn't help it, I had to post this. But thanks for the encouragement, and I wish you the same luck. :)
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Why not make a VR game that lets you (read "player") be the hero, able to act out those fantasies?
That or surround yourself with others who share the same sort of mindset because yeah, such thoughts are not uncommon at all.
I hope you have a happy birthday and that you're able to find happiness in life - don't be so quick to write off real life just because what you want is grounded in those fantasy realms; aye, it's been said "nothing is impossible," but i ken that the idea is to basically be a messiah within an animated world... see my first suggestion :)
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I'm thinking that could be my eventual goal, it would certainly be sweet. Thanks for the good wishes, as well. :)
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Im in the "same" problem, almost the same, im in my 20 and it looks like im the worst piece of shit, im studying and all, but still feel like shit, that my life has no point on it, just try to get out a little more with friends and if you can get a girlfriend, im serious.... Im going to psychologist, anyway i think it has no use, but she told that i am the problem, that i dont see the good stuff of me...
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Yeah, I have like, little to no self confidence, which is part of the reason I'm scared to try working and/or try to get a girlfriend. I mean, the first girl I told I liked said she liked me too (we were in 5th grade, but still), but in a number of weeks, she started crying and wouldn't talk to me anymore and I have no clue why... After that I started getting more and more depressed, started talking to less and less people, and several years later when I finally met another girl that made me feel even better, that ended with her trying to file a restraining order against me...
Lol, I guess I should try to figure out what the heck I'm doing, don't really have a clue how people work anymore...
I went to a psychologist (wait, psychiatrist? Idk, I always get them mixed up...) for a while, but I stopped going since it didn't seem to help that much and I was turning 18 and would have to find a new one and whatnot.
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Yep i know how it is, im too timid for everything, even the smallest talk makes me anxious. Since i've got out of middle school didnt make so many friends, i've started to talk a girl, but when i want to start a conversation idk how to do it, and when i finally do, i feel like trash for no reason. About the psychologist, i think it's makes me the things worse for me, idk, every time i finish a sesion i feel worse than before... Ah, sorry for the bad english, im a Empana(Argentina)...
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It seems so weird to me that I'm now 20...
I'll start off with the GA's to make it easy for everyone who doesn't want to hear my ramblings.New GA added, decided not to really hide it...
First is Home. (Level 1)
Second, Cook, Serve Delicious! (Level 2)
Anyways, here comes some rambling, feel free to leave, it's going to get weird... Really weird...
I'm actually a bit worried about what some of the replies I might have to deal with might be, so I included the poll to hopefully lower the number of negative ones there'll be.
I feel kind of crappy because I really haven't done anything since I got out of High School... (I say "got out" because I dropped out Junior year then earned my GED the nest January)
Whenever people ask I always just say I want to make video games for a living, but to be honest I hate thinking about my future and everything... I'm pretty sure it's just me being weird, like usual, but the only thing I think I really want is... well, um... Anime... I'm pretty sure I'll get a bunch of "weeb" comments and stuff, but seriously, I don't think I could live without it... I'm probably just mental, but I would give anything to be in an Anime and be able to do cool crap like laying my life on the line to beat the crap out of monsters and stuff to protect cute girls, and maybe have a cute girl whose hair I can pet and stuff... It really does make me sound crazy, doesn't it?
But anyways, knowing that that could never happen tears me up inside and makes it hard to do pretty much anything/everything...
I guess that's only part of it, too, but basically I can't imagine wanting anything enough to motivate me since the things I want the most are impossible...
But at the same time, I do kind of wish I could want to do something, because I realize I'm just a waste, which in turn just makes it worse... :/
Maybe if I just get a dakimakura that'll satisfy my overwhelming need to cuddle with and pet cute anime girls...
Also, completely unrelated, but I'm apparently on 54 whitelists and only 34 blacklists... That surprises me, honestly, especially since I kind of have some anger issues... But I'll say thanks here, hopefully those people and all you guys with the kind words will see it, lol! :3
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