OMG. I know it's off subject but you have more hours in Skyrim than me.
Can it be true?
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I'm failing in special edition douh. Havent gotten the mood to finish it xD
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I haven't either, but mainly because my SSD is too small so I had to remove skyrim when I was playing Ark, and it's such a day long plus chore to get all the mods together and working right >.<
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If you knew my pain with my hdd, you'd never dare to complain about lack of space ever again xD
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I know the feeling, but I agree with everything that EvilBudgie wrote here (though it's not a justification for acting like that).
Stay strong, find someone else, mind that it's probably about them and not about you - it's my only advice here. In the end, you will be ok. :3
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As people in the thread already said, try your best to move on. It's hard but doable, there're many other people out there that you can hang out and be friend with.
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If she found a girlfriend, maybe she was afraid (or just not comfortable) to admit her homosexuality to you or something? Would certainly explain her sudden lack of communication.
Can't really say much more than that, since I prefer being alone so I don't have any friends :D
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I knew she was into girls and I made it clear that I don't plan to have romantic interests with anyone, so IDK why would there be any such stuff, because of a girlfriend or boyfriend or anything x.x
p.s I like my peace too but, some times I just grow a need to talk with someone else, but my inner voice. xD
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As hard as it can be, life is a lot easier if you don't care nearly as much about people. There's an old saying that goes "You can count friends on your fingers", sure, having many friends is nice, but most people are naturally a-holes, keep those who prove they deserve your loyalty, and keep the others at an arm's length. I might sound cynical, but it's what I learned over my years.
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Happy cakeday.
Also, what if someone didn't have arms, then they couldn't count their friends or keep people at arm's length?
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Thank you.
Also, good one, probably won't be long until we all have cybernetic arms anyway, XD
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I made the same mistake once; it's good that you share. It is how I got my avatar and still holding on to it as a memory to never forget how people can talk sweet and you want to believe it all, but in the end they just tell you that they changed their opinion and delete you without even talking for another minute.
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ooo small kitty posted big kitty
i like big kitty more, makes me want to tug eye whiskers a bit to bother big kitty
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It happens. Ive learned when it comes to people that are newer friends, its best not to take much of what they say very seriously. Saves a lot of hurt feelings in the end.
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Try not to let it get to you too much, and definitely don't think less of yourself for it. There is always someone who feels that you are worth their time and effort, so try not to worry about it nor let it get to you :)
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The friends that matter are the ones who stick around forever. Value those.
The rest are just playthings for my your amusement. :3
The moral of this tale -- don't sweat the small things in life.
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But if your "friends" aren't matter, then what are they made of? And what about imaginary friends or anime, they aren't matter, but they might stick around you forever, so then... Do they matter? I'm confused...
I know you said not to sweat the small stuff, but... I need to know...
;P
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Or... Don't sweat the petty things in life and do not pet sweaty things!
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Don't waste energy worrying over shitty people like that, I know you're just getting it off your system (which is totally ok and understandable).
This happened to me a few years ago, with an online friend I was very close with.
Last time we chatted (after a couple of months of silence), she said we simply were never friends, even though we chatted daily and talked about meeting each other IRL, even if we lived in different countries.
Anyway, you'll eventually walk it off, all I can say is that not everyone's like that :)
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FAIR WARNING: DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU CAN HANDLE BEING HURT
Narcissistic Borderline Personality Disorder
Your first problem, you had expectations. Those expectations were not communicated. Therefore, when they did not happen, you got hurt. Setting up expectations and not communicating them will always position yourself to get hurt.
Second problem, You had assumptions of this other person's feeling and position in the relationship and they were not confirmed or communicated. You know the old adage: ass/ u/ me make an ass-out of you and me.
Third, you make it all about yourself. From your posting and how you describe the whole situation, everything in the relationship and it seems even previous ones is usually focused on you. Relationships are suppose to be equal and of a give and take. If you demand too much from a person without giving back, things are setup to fail.
So, from your profile, I am going to gather two other bits of information. You spend much of your time in fantasy - both online and in your thinking of the world. Approx 23 years of age... and still has not learned lessons that most would have learned in middle school.
My advice, stop setting unrealistic expectations and assumptions of other people. Get over yourself, learn to SHARE in a relationship. And finally, turn off the damn computer and go out and experience life instead of playing games.
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I think you're a little premature with the mental illness diagnosis.
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Wow, what.
The other person said they wouldn't randomly bail or betray them, after hearing their recent friend issues, but then gives them the cold shoulder without any indication of why. Barring 'the other side of the story', that's all there is to it. Feeling a bit burned by that isn't indicative of NBPD.
Usually when someone does something randomly barbed that vaguely mimics a recent hardship you went through, a desire to vent or get it off your chest is normal. Wanting to do this doesn't mean you're 'making it all about yourself', and unduly giving consideration to an absent party who has wronged you is a real weird expectation to have of a stranger, Seven.
It's far from an unrealistic expectation to expect to be treated with common reciprocal tact. It's normal to need a moment to grouch when you get a double-tap of feeling betrayed. And reading too deep into a person based solely on their profile on a videogaming platform? That's a real desperate stretch to give your pointless character assassination vague legitimacy. Adding a disclaimer at the start of your post doesn't absolve you of transparently over-reaching for anything you can pretend is a justified criticism.
I'd suggest taking a little of your own advice here : Get over yourself, turn off the damn computer, and go out and interact with living people instead of regurgitating armchair psychology and the usual memetic canned judgements. Actually no, stay indoors and play a few more videogames, it seems you really need some catharsis and mashing pixels is a great way to get that without taking a pointless, heaping shit on other human beings.
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I did not make a diagnosis. It just posted a disorder and a link to a resource that allows people to DEAL with people that have such a disorder. If anything, it is more likely to have been in reference to the type or personality in the girl that OP mentioned. No, if anything, the error is on your part by inferring something that I did not directly communicate and to assume insult when there is none there.
Posting online to a general unknown populace about a personal issue is an attention seeking behavior. While venting and catharsis are necessary, this is an inappropriate venue for such a thing as well as hoping to seek a real, valid response to dealing with the problem that caused the OP to post.
I am blunt in speaking the truth to the situation. Others dance around it or do not address OPs own responsibility in handling of her situation. I would be the biggest ass of by just playing along and 'poo-pooing' OPs situation and leaving all of the blame on the other person - no, I choose to speak the truth. The truth is more valuable to OP than any bit of cliched sympathy postings. (While I do appreciate others expressions of empathy, cute GIFs and the before heard statements - it still won't help OP in facing the real source of the issue.)
If there is any insult intended in my posting, it is that she has not learned a lessons about relationships that most of us learned at a younger age and to make a comment on how much time she is spending on gaming and not in developing herself or her relationship skills. But again, this all reinforces my point that she is responsible for herself, her actions, choices and responses and that she can change for the better so that she does not have to experience this situation again.
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Yeah, I mean, why would someone infer such a thing after a post like that, right? :U
What is an inappropriate venue varies depending on the perception of the user. Propriety isn't always at the forefront of a person's mind on the internet, much less when they are upset. Like it or not, some people have a rather immature approach to internet communications that can actually be pretty separate to their usual personality, just as I'd like to assume you wouldn't talk to somebodies face like you did right here. It's an open forum and was posted in the correct provided subcategory, and while not the best advised or critically weighed decision, it doesn't provide a strong indication of any mental archetype, disorder or issue on it's own. The sad fact is that you do not know the truth, and you're over-reaching to be a shining 'telling it as it is' beacon, which is a frequently used meme used to self-elevate, disguising 'hard hitting words' as constructive concern where they are in fact just catharsis at another's expense. Your analysis was hollow, your language was needlessly tactless, your true intentions were transparent. If it wasn't your true intention to simply lash out or undermine, then you have done yourself a sore disservice with your post.
Your criticism of their handling of relationships again falls flat, given how you fail to understand some vital basics yourself. It is not healthy to adopt a position of scathing self-criticism and gut your own mental/emotional processes the very second an online 'friend' mistreats you. Being outright given the cold shoulder without any attempt to communicate an issue is pretty much that, a distinct form of mistreatment. With only this much information to go on, suggesting they internalise the happening as a core failing of their handling of relationships is a pretty bizarre and poisonous way to go about things. By all means, introspection and analysis are healthy, but to adopt the bileous stance of "turn off the computer, go outside, grow up, it's your fault, you're being immature, you sound like have a neurotic disorder here's some 'help', you're socially maladapt compared to everyone else" your post was pretty much a posterchild for the septic gutter of our cultural attitudes.
It is entirely possible to be critical while also maintaining tact, you can cut to the core of what you see the problem to be without layering it with caustic regurgitation, and you can certainly lend your analysis more credence by not doing the armchair psychologist equivalent of a tarot reading by squinting at their fucking gaming profile. Jesus.
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Whatever you have to say means nothing in regards to my comment with kapy. Why? Because her and I have reached an understanding. My point was made to her to encourage her to make some positive changes, to be responsible for her actions and choices and to move on.
Your criticism is without value because many of your postings have been critical of others instead of being wholly productive in directing the situation to positive solution. It seems you should be just as critical of yourself before you consider judging other peoples' communication methods and choices.
I only blacklist people for bad ratios on SG. You, on the other hand, I AM adding you to my whitelist. Few people have ratios like yours and I respect your generosity. I will be doing my yearly give-back train for my whitelist in a few weeks time, feel free to participate. But, please do not hate me because I am a fan of Stoke's Potters.
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So basically... because I got my own world in my own head, which so many phycologists I met and talked, about and claimed it 's actually a good thing and it makes my mind work more and better, it means I'm mentality disabled and I need to, go outside? Truth be told, I don't like going out much. I'm not the type that goes out on parties and stuff like that. I don't like getting drunk in that one bar with people who only pretend to care, but actually just want to drink. And I'm not the type of person to enjoy the use of drugs or any other such thing. So you basically tell me that I don't live a life, even if the way I live my life is the way that makes me happy, but the thing others see as living, for me is waste of time, because most of the time it erases parts of your memory mind, which I wouldn't want to happen as that is one of the most important things in your life. The memory of something or someone you enjoyed or cared, not to go get drunk or drugged and lose some of it, just like that.
Yeah, I'm around 22. I enjoy spending time in fantasy games or in my dream world, but the same time I spent lots of time over politics and stuff like that. Does that make me a fantasy corrupt asshole now? I doubt it. I doubt any of what I do makes me sick in any way. If I just had that one mental illness it would be easy to be honest, but I don't. I live with my self and my choses with my own mind. And stop setting unrealistic expectations ? So what? I should stop writing my fanfictions, just because I except a huge amount of people to love them, while there's only like a dozen? I should, stop hoping one day to manage to find a good job and make money? I should stop expecting that one day I might be that one lucky person and win the lottery once? I should stop expecting to meet my dream partner? So basically you tell me that I should stop living and be a bloody robot? Sure, I'm not really a nice person. IM arrogant, stubborn, mean, some times cruel. But that's what it makes me, because while I got all these negatives inside me, I got positives which most people cant even hope to have, ever. So do tell me again... Why should I listen to a person who tells me "GO and finally get a live" and same time says "stop setting unrealistic expectations and assumptions" ? And I know you didn't mean it only about people, you meant it in overall. Just using that one word doesn't really hide your true meaning.
So I got a better answer to you. Go see a doctor, a phycologist or a shrink if you prefer to call it that way. Sit down, speak about your issues. Share how much you enjoy energy drinks and prefer to avoid sleep. Share how you prefer to be drunk or smoke weed and play games and then pretend like you understand everyone and everything. Oh and Assuming my age, just because you saw the "94" in my steam account is kind of basic and annoying. You feel like your Sherlock Holmes, but you aint. Unlike you he actually knows what he's doing and talking.
Have a nice day and don't let the door hit you on the way out.
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Good, you are angry; that was what was hoping for. In getting you angry it helps position you to be able to change.
I hope you are angry enough to be willing to consider your actions. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is what the common definition of insanity is. I do not want this to happen again to you, and I do not think you do either.
Yes, your assumptions and expectations did position you to get hurt. Yes, you will be hurt in life. You can be angry at the other person; but again, your anger with yourself should help you realize that you allowed yourself to be in such a position.You can change the way you want to respond to something, especially if it can, and will happen again.
While we (as a forum) can try to help you explain away what happened, it does not change what has happened. This is not the first time you have experienced something like this, nor dealt with it in the same way before. You cannot change what other people do. You can change how it effects you and how you respond to it.
Use that anger to try changing your behavior completely; because you do have the power to change. Forget the other person. Forgive yourself. Move on. Do something different.
Have a wonderful week. You are a beautiful person, regardless of what others do or say. Yes, you are worthy of love. Be your own change.
PS - Thanks for the movie review regarding the new Underworld. You were right.
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I am not angry and that was not my anger. That was me not really inspired from a speech that's suppose to make me who I hate... And I never want to be. I know I'm different and there will be people who love me for it. But changing won't fix anything it will just make it harder for the people who would really care to care... As change means giving up and I ain't giving up
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You are still and will always be the only person responsible for your actions, choices and responses to events like these in your life.
You can only control yourself. You cannot control others or the things that happen to you in life. You cannot make other people care or not care about you. I have not told or encouraged you to hate someone else. You are responsible for being, making and creating your own self-worth in life. Yes, forgive them - or just think of telling them to fuck off in your mind - whatever works for you. Forgive yourself. Learn. Grow and move on.
Change means something different than you think. I have not told you to give up and I would not want you to do that either. Change means, 'there is more than one way to do something'. Changing your perspective and approach will provide you with an opportunity to learn from your past and be able to make new choices and be able to develop a more effective way of getting what you want out of life. If you refuse to change, then you will only continue to experience the same problems and react to them in the same way over time. If anything, not changing is more likely to harden your heart and make you an embittered person. THAT is not something that I want for you nor would anyone who is actually serious about giving you real advice to handle this situation. But explaining it all way and leaving the problem on the other person is not going to get you any closer to being loved and cared for - it will only leave you confused and cowering in a corner and eventually the same problem happens again.
People like the person that has hurt you have never considered their actions or how they affect others - by encouraging you to consider your choices and to change, I am in agreement with your attitude of not being like that person and to help make yourself into something better.
I affirm you for who you are. To repeat myself again: Have a wonderful week. You are a beautiful person, regardless of what others do or say. Yes, you are worthy of love. Be your own change.
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I'm still not having sex you. You know that right?
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Nope. I was not expecting that. I know your preferences. Had I had that expectation, I obviously would be setting myself up to be disappointed. I hope that it is clear to you know how I was trying to help you with the honesty - sorry if it was too blunt for you. I still hope that it helps.
I do not expect anything from you. But, I do hope you like the Blue Heart and my soon to be posted yearly giveback train for my whitelist.
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Very well said. Finally some good reply. Thanks for that!
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To quote you directly: "Change… We don’t like it, we fear it. But we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn’t, is lying. But here’s the truth: Sometimes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes, change is good. Sometimes, change is… everything.
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Your first mistake was to trust someone on the internet
Your second mistake was to believe that people can be reasoned with
Also, by posting this you're not being too mature yourself tbh
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Never claimed I am, but I don't need to construct a whole group to support my maturity and then act totally immature. :p
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This will sound harsh but why the hell did you put any expectation to a random internet person? People in real world doesnt give any fucks about eachother ,now image how bad it is on internet.
Best thing in life you can achieve ( and i'm still working on that ) is to be your own person,stop putting faith in other people somehow making your life better,they wont. I had this issue,looking for hapinnes in other people but it's always very temporary and unreliable. Stand on your own,other people only have to be an extra not a core of your life.
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What I could remember from the new Underworld was spilling almost half of my Pringles on the floor :(
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Though you had tried to involve it, it's always hard to figure out such a mess without knowing both sides of the story. The next time someone is making such a "promise" to you, you might ask for elaborating it, though that could offend a person with serious intentions.
While it's currently important to focus on yourself to get over this story, losing faith in humankind or eradicating empathy aren't options.
Can't mess with Powerziege, but also fitting:
WIBG
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I've read this while listening to "evening the odds", epic.
Anyway, move on, some people is weird and some people is weird and toxic. Remember, we also have your side of the story.
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she then said she wont be like them and just be an ass and leave.
That was no promise but an attempt to distance herself from socially undesirable behaviour. She's not like that, she's dependable, trustworthy, true to her words yadayada. That's not bad, that's just human.
Then I found out I got deleted
Again that's very human of her.
Loyalty is determined by deeds not words. And promise can be considered one only when it's explicit, specific and repeated several times.
If it's general shite like "I promise that i would never do such thing" then realy it's "At this moment i truly believe that i would never do such a thing" or worse "I think that i should say so just to be on the safe side".
Sorry for my broken english.
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People nowdays don't know the strong of their talkings and can't respect their own word...what a shame...Don't waste time with that people... thats why i only have less than 10 friends :D.
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First off, excuse me for no gift inside or for making a rant, about it. But I just got no where else to do it and it will be eating me for weeks if I don't share it.
Here it goes. Few months ago, I got betrayed in many ways by my life "friends". So I started giving more time to my online "friends". There was this girl, she was bit odd and stuff. We talked, had fun and stuff. Passed for weeks. Told her my sob story with the life "friends" and stuff, she then said she wont be like them and just be an ass and leave. Sure I believed. Had to observe her drama with a weirdo and stuff. The last time we actually chatted, I forced myself to play CSGO with her on the American servers clearly and my penalty for that chose was 150 ping of course. Truth be told we had fun and stuff. Then she went silent for few days. Then I found out I got deleted... Ask people who we were common friends. She avoided the questions.
Few days ago I noticed she didn't delete me yet on discord and as a joke told her that she forgot to do it... Then she replies with "I'll fix that" and blocks me.
To be honest. I didn't care that much for the person. Hell she can have a happy life from now far as I care... The thing that eats me and pisses me off, is how easily her "promise" was broken... How she just lied to me. I heard she found a girlfriend or something... I mean c'mon if it was because of it, you could of easily just said it.
One thing I hate most in the world. Broken loyalty or simply said, lying. Hopefully I'll manage to rest my mind after doing my little rant.
P.S for someone to claim to be an adult, that move was pretty immature of her. If she sees it, she could just pass away. I would prefer if she doesn't try to be part of my life anymore. Not matter if online or not.
P.S.2 I don't recommend the new underworld. too many actors, too little acting.
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