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I want to do a little more than just a bump, so here I go.
As Mully, I suffer from depression since years as well as PTSD and other chronic illness which are leaving me handicapped.
Our society isn't exactly the nicest towards those who don't contribute with any sort of work and earn money to prove that they do. When it's not how much we earn, it's how many followers we have on this or that social media, how many X we did, how many Y we earn.
More often than not, people come to me with the idea that I'm lucky to be in a such bad physical and mental state that any work prove to be impossible. They have no idea what people like me deal every day, we're treated like we're stealing other people's money to live. They consider that they pay for us by contributing to the country and often make comments towards you they consider as witty and certainly being the first one making such comment. They of course aren't.
How many times people tagged the fact I can't work with "free time" where I can "do everything". I can't walk when I want, I have monstrous headaches that force me to stay in bed sometimes for several days in a row, I have nightmares every night and can't sleep well since over 20 years, my back problems are big enough for me to be under morphine since over a year.
It isn't free time. We're not pretending to be sick to not work. When we tell you that we stayed home today, we're doing so to not tell you that we had to throw up twice because of the migraine then were forced stay sitting upright and try to fall asleep because we couldn't lie down on our back anymore as the treatment decided to fail today. We're not speaking of our privacy most of times, more often than not because people before you made a comment as though it was simple to deal with all that with "a bit of positivity" or "just take your meds".
Because of how our society is, most of time we're ashamed to not be able to provide for ourselves, what we do for free isn't relevant most of time. I'm an artist, I edit a lot of screenshots for fun and sometimes for a living, I write, I do what I'm able to do when my health allow. I have two different schedules as I cannot know how will be tomorrow or even next hour. I have to adapt to every circumstances, fit several medical appointments every week and sometimes there is the hospital which is a hard stop to whatever I was doing.
To sum up what I want to say, because it's becoming long..
Cease to judge people by number, no matter what the number is, it doesn't reflect who is the person behind, their choices, their beliefs and their work. Someone can earn no money while giving their time to help others, it's not because they don't earn anything that what they do worth zero. Learn to get interested in what people can do while not pointing at the success of it.
Appreciate simple things in life like your health, your friends, your family, etc. All those things that seem to be there forever and it's only when it degrades that we see how important they are. It is said that we see how much we value something when we lose it. Don't wait that moment, cherish them and make sure they never go away.
You are not alone, it's true, but when you suffer from all this, you quickly realize that a lot of people will only look down at you while leaving you because you don't "worth" it anymore and you're just "looking for an excuse to be lazy". Don't be that jerk saying that to someone who already deal with so much. Learn to be caring and compassionate and you'll earn self esteem and happiness. Guess what, you cannot count those two.
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I can totally relate!!
I've been suffering from major depressive disorder from 20 years, I think it's something that won't ever go away, but I made some major improvements in my life.. I overcame all of my anxiety (panic attacks included), and I overcame my social phobias..
It's been such a long road, and as you say - I've felt alone pretty much every single day!
And I also suffer from a syndrome called "chronic pelvic pain" (syndrome/disease) that hasn't even an acceptable cure.. this one has been plaguing my life way more now, in the last 5-6 years my physical handicaps (three surgeries at my right arm and lots of problems in my right ankle, meaning that I can't and I won't ever be able to play any kind of sport) have been way more difficult to bear - I would never have imagined such a reversal between mental and physiical illnesses..
I made so many mistakes in the past. Just re-read your last lines! I hated myself, instead of loving myself and boosting my self esteem and finding happiness in the smallest things, like I can do now and I try to do every single day, bringing positivity to my dear ones and most of all, to myself.
You gave so many great advices with your experience. It's fundamental to focus on ourselves, love ourselves and do the best that we can..
I loved your post, in particular, because of all these advices. You told us not to judge, since no one really can get what another guy has been going through. And one of the most important things ever - we must love ourselfes, appreciate the simple things, and give the most value we can at health, family, friends, passions, talents, everything that doesn't harm others and gives us happiness. It's fundamental - in my worst depressive years, filled with self-harm addiction, I hated myself and I didn't care about my health, my happiness, my dear ones.
And I really know, personally, what it feels like to suffer from "invisible illnesses", since apart from my scars I have no signs of handicap - be it mental or my chronic pelvic pain, my impossibility to write with my right hand, or to run with my right leg. Most people won't see anything of this, and they would assume exactly what you wrote about the society we live in.
I'm trying day after day to do my best and I'm extremely satisfied of the person I am now, at 31+ years old which isn't that much but still I'm not a kid anymore.. but I'm happy, because I managed after so many years (decades) of therapy, self-therapy, and "simple going on" with my life to put into action everything you wrote, from self-esteem to finding happiness, be thankful and respectful, taking care..
And never, ever again even just listen to those who talk to me like I'm lazy, like I'm pretending to be ill just to have advantages, like I'm crazy or I'm someone to avoid, or I'm not worth their time. It's been years, luckily, that no one can really hurt me and I'm proud of my progresses, but it took so much time and efforts.
I've got to take too two meds every single night and it's going on for years and years but this doesn't really make me inferior or superior to anoyone else.
Thanks for sharing and good luck to all in overcoming everything that hurts us <3
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Original thread - Original Post by DesertMouse1
I've dealt with depression for over a decade, plus PTSD and some health complications which also make things even worse than what they are. But at least I had people that helped me. Friends, family, and even strangers from support groups that made things easier.
You should NEVER think you are alone, because there's always someone willing to help if you look around you. This might sound cliché but it's real, there are terrible people but there are also extremely kind ones. 💙
Also, if you can and you feel strong enough, please lend a hand to others in need. I've done this for years when I am confident enough that I can take on other people's problems without affecting my health to the point of getting me down.
Remember it's important to help others, but also take care of yourself.
Diagnosed depression isn't a joke (as in diagnosed by a professional and not by the patient, don't confuse it with other symptoms!). It's a serious condition and it shouldn't be taken lightly because it's not a physical illness. Just like cancer ends up with death, depression will escalate to suicide or cripple you in many ways.
Everyone feels "down" once in a while, but for some people it's a daily pattern of depression. The good news is that it is treatable.
Usually through therapy, medication, or a combination of the two. Antidepressant medication, despite some side effects, can help lift a person from the depths of depression within weeks of starting medication therapy.
If one medication doesn't work for you or the side effects are too much for you to live with, keep in mind that there are many others your doctor could give you to try.
Make sure your doctor knows about any other meds you are taking and always ask questions about your medication therapy, if needed.
Btw, DON'T get self-diagnosed, it's a terrible idea. You might be sad or during a grieving period, so always check with a doctor.
Besides, I don't know about other countries but over here antidepressants are only available if you have a medical prescription, so you will only be left with a possibly wrong diagnostic and no way to deal with it.
Some info:
What Is Depression?
Google users can now screen themselves for depression, then seek treatment
Taking Care of Yourself While Supporting a Depressed Loved One
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