Dear friends

I decided to go out for a drink in the local bar in my town, in hope finding something that I desire.

The barmaid got me a beer, When she gave me the beer she had a look of someone who just broke up. So I would not rule out that she’s a child who cries a lot, perhaps she has a shaggy friend who abused her regularly or that she has no vagina. But she was pretty nice looking and made my tree grow.

I put my friendliest smile when she hands over my drink. "Thank you Femke” I happen to know her name, which was a bonus.

I didn’t care about her grief, but because I was still at the bar, I might as well start a conversation. Who knows, perhaps i could put my in tree inside her black hole tonight. I gather all my courage, went a little closer. just before her, and asked ; "Is everything okay Femke?". "No, everything is messed up. My boyfriend cheated on me. "Now I saw a couple of small tears from her eyes roll. “Is this why she looks so sad? ?”I though to my self. Well I didn’t see that coming to be honest, what a bitch. Her boyfriend cheated on her like who cares....

This girl needs to hear the truth, and with a dose of drink in my crotch, I was the right person, "shit happens , I do not blame him. Monogamy is for mindless people. The bitch looked like she had just seen a cholera butterfly flying. Well I couldn’t care less and when on with my story. "When I look at you, Femke ... you look like a profligated sex kitten, my advice: Go polygamous through life, maybe you kick it to porn star, you never know Femke!" She did not know what she went through, who is this complete idiot? "You're a freak, fuck off please."

I followed her advice and left the bar, looking for some juicy girls where I can put my tree in. Perhaps I could finish this evening with a bang! I’ve spotted my target, two decent girls, not super handsome nor ugly extreme. In their face expression I saw that those girls were in this club for one thing: heavy kissing with me and perhaps I could take them to my basement. Anyway I was the right person for this. I will not brag too much about it, but in 40 minutes I was heavily kissing with the hottest of the two.

I was getting bored off it. My tree has been dry for a long time so it needed to be sucked "Can you possibly get some wine for me?" She asked., "Sure, all you have to do is blow me on the toilet. "With this proposal, she apparently disagreed 'Heeh! Wtf are you saying, I am not a whore !!', 'two wines then? Go away or I'm leaving. "I had one chance. "Okay three wines . Now the measure was full and she walked away angrily. It was time to leave ......
Once outside, there was a poor man singing the song “Bring it on home to me”. I had 18 euros in my pocket, and I gave him everything. He deserved it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZB4jcPmFGo

8 years ago

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Good to have you back bud! Missed you!

8 years ago
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slap

8 years ago
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i don't think one is enough.

slap

8 years ago
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Can I join on the slap-fest?

8 years ago
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sorry! monkey see, monkey do...

slap

8 years ago
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+1

8 years ago
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Seriously again?

8 years ago
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+1

8 years ago
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Like clockwork.

8 years ago
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As my mate uses to say: punctual, like diarrhoea after you had a two week old unrefrigerated bottle of milk.

8 years ago
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You must have a sad life if you have to make up these stories.

8 years ago
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8 years ago
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8 years ago
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8 years ago
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I'm still waiting for that to be updated to the point that it can filter out comments as well.. :/
Nevermind I can't manage to be bothered to manually enter nicknames into the script just for topic blocking- the WL/BL indicator script works well enough for glancing over those.

8 years ago
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Me too. :-(::.

8 years ago
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yes, its called report user till perm suspension.

edit: oh nice, there really is one ^^ grabbing

8 years ago
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This might work for you.

Edit: a few seconds too late

8 years ago
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Non-ironic shitposting is still shitposting

8 years ago
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It's ironic him shitposting when you translate his nickname.

8 years ago
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View attached image.
8 years ago
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I got my dick out for Harambe. Did I do good?

8 years ago
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If you need to ask, you are not doing it well enough

8 years ago
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Well, you tried.

8 years ago
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What's the price for a BJ in your city ?

PS: You had 18$ in your pocket.

8 years ago
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View attached image.
8 years ago
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Heartwarming

8 years ago
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sigh - these are not even funny anymore

8 years ago
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View attached image.
8 years ago
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If you're tired of the website, you can simply ask us to permanently suspend you instead of constantly repeating this.

8 years ago
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Can others ask? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

8 years ago
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What's the reason for the ban?

8 years ago
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confusing steamgifts with /b/

8 years ago
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...

8 years ago
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Rule 1 and 2...

8 years ago
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8 years ago
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8 years ago
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Someone should make his adventures into short comics :v

8 years ago
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Hello again.
Goodbye again.

8 years ago
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at least u can spell this time

8 years ago
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8 years ago
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I conic shitp0st. I rate it 420/69 :v :v :v

8 years ago
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Times like this make me actually miss Konrads

8 years ago
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I always read about him , who is him and what did he do ?

So far, the only info I managed to put together is that he is all that is wrong in this world and you fought an epic fight to permaban him (jk)

8 years ago
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Yeah, Konrads was the best pet SG ever had. :'( This guy doesn't even come close.

8 years ago
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8 years ago
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All hail to the king!

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8 years ago
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You live in a country where prostitution is legal, and you are severely in need of getting laid.
Mind if I make a suggestion?

8 years ago
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I liked your story tbh! Made me laugh and made me think....and made me.....pink!

8 years ago
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You are da MVP

8 years ago
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Closed 8 years ago by SleepyCat.